[Sex] I Can’t Wank For Work


#QuoteQuest, Self Expression, Self Reflection, Sex / Monday, October 26th, 2020

‘Wanking is only two letters away from working!’ – Amy Norton

There are plenty of ways folks make money out of sex and for every way there is to make money there are a hundred opinions on that specific way of earning a living. I have one opinion on making money from sex … it’s bloody hard work and that my friends is why I don’t do it. 

The original quote used to inspire this week’s Quote Quest is from the lovely Amy over at coffeeandkink with regards to reviewing sex toys. When I read the quote though my mind went to all aspects of selling sex for money and whether it is reviewing toys or creating content for onlyfans my opinion remains the same, selling sex is not easy and I have oodles of respect and awe for those who do it successfully. 

I have tried my hand at all sorts over the last few years in an attempt to find an additional income that is sex or kink related. I’ve reviewed sex toys, I’ve written erotica/articles for a fee, I’ve sold worn underwear and nudes, I’ve done brief stints as a cam girl and I’ve created videos of a sexy nature that kind folks have purchased. I find it all highly stressful and I do not have what it takes to make any of those options work for me. 

I have heard plenty of people say ‘oh I should just sell my knickers’ or ‘maybe I’ll just quite work and set up an onlyfans’. As if by virtue of doing those things they will make instant money and all their financial and work problems will be sold. In my experience though for every £1 you make there were at least 10 conversations with a potential client that went nowhere. 

The world is full of time wasters and people trying to get services without paying. If you sell something sexy there’s always someone who thinks they deserve your time and product for free, not that they’ve ever met you, or hell even taken the time to get to know you, but by their very existence they feel they should be exempt from paying.

On top of that, you often have to deal with a barrage of abuse when you explain why they can’t have something for free. Suddenly you’re an ugly whore who they wouldn’t want to see naked/fuck/breathe the same air as anyway. Which is odd considering 5 minutes before they were begging for a free nude or video of you wanking. 

I know it’s the same for selling space on your blog or charging for reviews. Once again people do not consider the time and effort you have to put into creating or maintaining your blog and posts that go on it and companies like individuals will think they deserve your time for free or for a price far below what you are worth. 

People who know their worth and learn to command it for the services they provide are my heroes. It’s not that I don’t know my worth, I do, but I really can’t be fucked with the back of forth of making the blog or sex my livelihood. For me, it is far too stressful and doesn’t realy fit in that well with my other responsibilities. 

There is still part of me that would love to write full time for a living and sweet, sweet people have told me I could and moreover that I should. I appreciate their support and their encouragement and in many cases, the money they have in fact paid me to do just that but I just don’t see it ever being something that I commit to. 

I used to feel bad for that, constantly tellig myself and others that it was ‘on the cards’ for ‘one day in the future’ Well that future is now the present and with all things considered I really like my blog the way it is. I like the fact that I don’t answer to anyone else, that if I don’t blog for a while it doesn’t affect my income, I don’t have to feel under pressure to be creative because no one is relying on my words.

I feel much the same about sex and kink. Part of why I ending up stepping away from kink is that it started to feel like a job, like something I had to do and for me that took all the fun, spontaneity an passion out of it. Writing, sex and kink are pleasre outlets for me, they are all things I do to free my mind and connect with others and adding money into the mix just doesn’t work for me it seems. 

This whole outlook is entirely personal though and I genuinely believe if you love making money out of writing about sex, reviewing toys, being a pro-domme or selling sexy videos then you should absolutely run with that and make the most of doing what you love whilst making some dollar. 

I am well suited to having a vanilla day job and doing this as a hobby, I think realising that and accpeting that I I’m happy as I am has been a revelation. I also had visions of giving more to the community, hosting a meme or some such endeavour, which again in itself is a lot of work. Woek which once upon a time I wouldn’t have minded doing, but in the last few months as the commuity fell apart and no matter what I did I seemed to upset someone, even when I thought I’d done the best I could to stand my my own personal views, my desire to be at the center of the blogging community has vanished.

That said I am grateful to the wonderful folks who do run memes and encourage our creativity because I love joining in where I can and where I’m welcome and I know how much hard work goes into giving us the spaces to share our work and our joy of wanking (amongst other things).

6 Replies to “[Sex] I Can’t Wank For Work”

  1. You hit many nails on the head here Floss. Making money through sex and blogging is really hard. The level of work involved vs the money you see in return is massively unbalanced. However I do really miss you in the centre of this community. I still mourn what we have all lost, but like you don’t regret standing up for what I believe to be right. I hope you are around here, writing your important words, paid or not for years to come.

  2. Really interesting and insightful post. I have a good friend who works as an escort and the crap she has to deal with is just appalling. Some of the things she tells me about make me ashamed to be man. Right now she is finding it hard to sustain her business because of the virus and is trying to find a vanilla job again. The really sad thing is that she tells me she started escorting because she really enjoyed sex but now its work she wonders if she will be able to enjoy sex for fun ever again.

  3. I don’t mind if someone I read (or view) is making money, but I draw the line at actually paying up myself! Its a strange quibble, when I see someone has an “only Fans” link, it puts me off, cos I’ll often think its not friendly – you question if the person would be doing that if you weren’t paying, and straight away it removes some personal aspect. Oh, I know people say they love their fans, and the fans love them, and its probably true. If I had enough disposable income, then perhaps I’d be more game – so that is what it is.

    Finding a good outlet to have fun and get paid, hmm, its a tough one – If I thought anyone would pay to see me “do stuff” for sure that would be a tempting career choice! I’d quite like to run a brothel, a friendly happy one, or an online dating app of some sort, something original, filthy and fun!

  4. I had ads on my page for a time, and gave it a valiant go at reviewing and writing for a fee…but it was exhausting and left me feeling a bit used, like I wasjo longer being true to myself. You are so right about people assuming they deserve your time and effort. A few months back, I packed that whole idea of making money away and went back to my simple blog. I’m much happier since. You have a beautiful blog, and I love your content. That is what keeps me coming back. The writing…and your voice.

  5. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings as always! I find any kind of “small creative business” can just bring out the worst in people. I used to have a photography studio in my home… I still had all the same training and equipment as the studios in their own location but because I was “just” in my home people were always trying to get lower prices or ‘better deals.’ Now we add the element of sex? OY! it’s not an easy world out there is it!

    I think I would like it my blog could bring in a small amount every month, but I also don’t think I want to work THAT hard to make it happen! LOL

  6. I really hope you don’t bugger off and I most def would welcome you back in the middle of the community. I miss your active voice and kept checking in when you took timeout.

    I can honestly say hand on my heart, I read every post you publish, I adore your words, your thoughts, your images… your voice is so relateable, Floss. You are so community driven and care so much for everyone… I know that you feel disheartened over the coummunity, me too. Something that once felt indestructible has shattered, but don’t give up or walk away. I need my Floss fix and I would love to see you at Eroticon again and have all the chats. xx

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