I don’t know how or when it happened but I love hugs. I love cuddling and snuggling and being ridiculously wrapped up in the arms of Mr F. I love to hug him the minute I see him, after spending hours with him, in bed at night and when we wake up in the morning. We work together and it takes me all my effort not to hug him every time he passes me by at work, this for sure would not be appropriate!
As far as Mr F is concerned I am a very cuddly person, so it came as a shock to him when I explained this has not always been the case. I have never in any previous relationships been this cuddly. As a child I wasn’t big on hugs at all, my mum would always laugh at my hugs because I’d happily let her wrap her arms around for as many hugs as she wanted, but I would always forget to actually hug her back.
Despite how the body language might have seemed, this wasn’t about not wanted her hugs and thankfully she knew this. The act of initiating or enthusiastically engaging with hugs just seemed to pass me by unless of course, you are of a canine or feline persuasion in which case hugs will be given by me often.
I hug my Dad maybe once a year, again, not because I don’t love him, I absolutely do, but showing that with hugs is hard for me. However, he gets oodles of hugs from my little boy, who absolutely got the cuddly gene and it is a good job he did because he is always coming after me for hugs. Thankfully he doesn’t mind that Mummy isn’t much of a hug initiator and just sees it as one of my strange little quirks, of which, he will tell you happily, I have many!
Which begs the questions why Mr F is so inundated with cuddles and why I’ve never had any issues with getting all up in his personal space when this is something I have struggled with enjoying my entire life. I do not know the answer to this question. All I know is that I’ve always felt at ease with him, in all the ways.
Collaredmichael left the following comment on one of my posts Warm and Safe … ‘The more you write about Mr F, the more I think you may finally have found your soul mate. I wish you continued happiness Floss.’ Maybe it’s that simple. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but I do believe in what I feel and what I know deep down in my gut and those things are constantly telling me I have found something special.
Part of my nature is to look for answers as to why things feel different with Mr F, but I think I have to accept that when it comes to the chemistry you feel with another person there isn’t always a logical answer and you just have to enjoy what has come your way and embrace all the loveliness that entails.
Currently, my home situation is different to normal. My little boy is with his Dad for the majority of lockdown, though as we co-parent we are allowed move him between our homes, but we think the sensible thing to do is limit this. This means Mr F is on lockdown with me. Technically we have tweaked the rules by doing this, but I know my mental health would be dire if I was on lockdown alone. This means I have unlimited access to cuddles and you better believe I will be making the most of our time together.
He thinks I’ll be fed up of him within 48 hours, I think by the time he goes home I’ll be so used to having him here I’ll feel strange without him, but only time will tell. What I’m not doing though is stressing over the outcome, I feel very relaxed about having him here. I don’t feel like I’m obliged to pay him attention every second of the day and we each have our own ways of entertaining ourselves when the other is occupied.
In those moments we are both doing nothing though, then hugs are definitely on the menu and I’ve been wondering this whole time what I can say about exactly why I enjoy hugging Mr F so much. I know other folks will have written very articulate pieces on why exactly hugs feel so great. I’m not sure I can do the same.
All I know is that when I’m pressed against Mr F and his arms are wrapped around me and my face can nuzzle into is neck or rest against his chest, that is quite easily the most peaceful I’ve felt in a very long time. I struggle to turn my brain off, nearly all the time it is whirring away, the world outside giving me more to think about than I’d like, especially at the moment. I do not remember a single time I’ve been snuggled with Mr F though and a worry has been able to enter my brain. He silences everything.
I’ve had this before, those moments where I’ve managed to push the world out, it was definitely one of the things that made FemDom so enjoyable. When I hit Topspace, my focus on what I was doing was so great that the world did cease to exist. Unfortunately, the energy I need to put it in, to get those moments of peace make FemDom and unsustainable method of finding my calm on a regular basis. That and the fact it is something that I am clearly not in a constant state of wanting.
Hugs though, they’re so freakin’ simple but their effect is like magic and that calming effect lasts as long as Mr F’s arms are wrapped around me, or in fact mine around him. At night I will often snuggle against and wrap my arm around him and just lying there, holding him close is everything that is right with the world. I am a big believer in ‘what’s meant to be will always find a way’ and honestly, I made some interesting choices along the way to ending up where I work now, and that decision, to apply for my current job, was crucial to meeting Mr F and I can’t help but think the universe was putting me right where I needed to be.
To those of you who are home with your special someone during these difficult times, I hope you are hugging well and often if that is something you enjoy, or sharing other moments with them that bring you comfort and joy. For those of you who are parted from your special someone, I am sending you lots of positive thoughts and I very much hope you can make plans to be with them as soon as all this chaos begins to calm down.