I don’t give a damn ’bout my reputation
You’re living in the past it’s a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that’s
What I’m gonna do
An’ I don’t give a damn ‘ bout my bad reputation
Bad Reputation by Joan Jett was released almost 40 years ago. 38 years ago we got an anthem about women being able to do what they want and being who they want to be without giving a damn about gaining a bad reputation.
Wouldn’t it be nice if in the past four decades something had changed? In many ways, I suppose a lot has changed, thankfully, but in some ways, we as women are still living a life where we have to choose between adhering to ‘good behaviour’ or living with a bad reputation.
I am incredibly open about my lifestyle at all time in all strains of my life and people really do care what I do with my time and my body. They care that I’m not monogamous, they care that I can be overly flirtatious, they care that I share erotic images, they care that I might be ‘easy’, the list is endless.
People aren’t always rude about it, but sometimes they are. Even when they are polite or just baffled the underlying feeling is still that it upsets their sense of self somehow by knowing someone like me exists. My lack of shame or confusion over my lifestyle seems to compound things for them. As if the sheer bare-faced cheek of being so utterly brazen about who I am rocks their world in all the wrongs ways.
I don’t think I’m alone in this and I don’t think it is only being outspoken about sex, sexuality and relationships styles that causes people to wish I’d stay in a more acceptable box.
This week I’ve heard lots of conversation in the muggle world about sexual activity, specifically women engaging in sexual activity. I couldn’t help but notice the women are still vilified for their proclivities yet the men who are receiving and enjoying their attentions are not even part of the conversation.
These double standards and continued desires to put women back in their place drives me fucking insane. I get up every day and care for my child, use my intellect to write this blog, I work a day job to feed my child and provide safe shelter for him, I love my friend and family dearly, I am committed to supporting my wonderful blogging pals, yet none of that matters to some people. What matters more is the fact I bare my body to the world and refuse to apologise for wanting to fuck and be a happy pervert.
For me, their opinions are personally pretty dull and make very little impact on my daily life. Apart from giving me added impetus to continue doing what I do, because fuck being silenced. The reason I’m fired up about it today is that I’ve seen how it affects other people and it isn’t nice, or some kind of achievement to silence people with a voice with shitty opinions, whether they are misogynistic, body shaming, transphobic, homophobic, racist, kink-shaming, sex-negative or any other kind bullshit drivel that leaves people’s sad little minds.
I know I’m mostly preaching to the choir here, but I do have some lurkers who seem unable to tear themselves away from my content despite the fact they think I’m going to hell for it. So every now and again it’s nice to just blow off steam and say fuck you to the morons who can’t accept the world changes.
I know in some circles (not this awesome sex blogging one) I’ve probably got a bad reputation and you know what? I couldn’t give less of a shit and I don’t think other folks should either.
I don’t give a damn
‘Bout my reputation
I’ve never been afraid of any deviation
An’ I don’t really care
If ya think I’m strange
I ain’t gonna change
An’ I’m never gonna care
‘Bout my bad reputation
Word in italics from Bad Reputation by Joan Jett