This post wasn’t on the original list of topics I wanted to tackle for That’s My Kink and while it isn’t perhaps a kink in the regular sense of the word, the reactions I get from exploring certain aspects of writing definitely encourage a reaction in me that isn’t just writers joy.
When Marie Rebelle used the word ‘unmentionable’ as the prompt for Wicked Wednesday #362 it created a wide range of responses. My mind thought up In His House, while others discussed what they do and don’t write about. Like Molly in If It Was Easy and Kayla in What Counts as Authenticity. These posts and others from that week’s Wicked Wednesday got me thinking about why I write some of what I do. While my thought process didn’t exactly follow theirs as you will see as this post continues, I am grateful for the inspiration to give these things some thought.
When I first started writing erotica it was on a different blog, which was solely dedicated to my erotica and poetry. The main themes were sensual and loving BDSM. It was a way for me to explore my own thoughts surround my new interests and I rarely ventured into anything too taboo or anything that would give people too much pause for thought if they were aroused by my writing.
FlossDoesLife started out as a place for me to work through my thoughts on non-monogamy and kink and how they played their parts in my everyday life. It has grown in ways I never foresaw and often I feel like it is its own entity rather than something of my creation. When I started to share my erotica here they were still pieces that reflected my previous approach.
At some point though being safe with my writing became rather dull. It wasn’t really inspiring to write the things I knew folk would like and without really realising I was doing I think I started to write for myself again. Sometimes what I wanted to write was weird shit that had me sitting at my computer thinking … ‘yeah some people will not like this.’ Pressing publish on those pieces is absolutely exhilarating
This year for the Smut Marathon I have so far written four entries, two of which were apparently so dull I can’t even remember what they were about, reflected in the fact they didn’t perform amazingly. A piece where a woman masturbates over a murderer of some description and a piece where a young woman masturbates listening to her local Vicar fuck her miserable and controlling Mother. Both pieces performed well in the public vote earning me the second runner up place, in round 4 this was alongside some other folk too.
Not everyone liked them, and they did earn me some criticisms, which I was prepared for. The truth is though writing those pieces was fun and knowing they would unsettle some people while arousing the fuck out of others was part of my enjoyment.
When I write about themes that I know everyone won’t love it isn’t the desire to shock or to cause offence that propels me forward. It’s knowing that someone, maybe even just one person will say … ‘this is not my kink, but oh my god, this totally aroused me.’ That, that single moment, that is my kink. Knowing that I can sit here and dig into the darker corners of my mind and pull out something that will get someone’s pulse racing despite their own interests is absolutely thrilling.
As is finding kindred spirits who proudly and with no shame say … ‘Fuck yeah, that is all kinds of dirty and I am so turned on by it.’ Those people are usually the folks that inspire me to press publish, even when I’m wondering just how close to edge of acceptable I am skating and they are definitely the people who inspired me to risk losing votes in the SMut Marathon for writing something I’m excited by rather than playing it safe and losing votes for being predictable.
For stories like In His House and The Slut’s Prayer, it was about taking something is sacred to many and making it hella dirty. My motivation for doing so is purely because I find it fun. It excites me to write those things and I enjoy exploring the taboo of finding sexual pleasure within the theme of religion. It is fun to corrupt my characters and have them do things I would never do.
Sometimes though the themes I like to explore are closer to the ongoing topics of this blog. Humiliation and degradation aren’t unfamiliar words to most kinksters and both can have low-level entry points where they are far more palatable than folks might have imagined. There are however ways to explore them that will make folk squirm in their seats and writing scenes like that is another way I get my kicks.
The idea of kneeling in an alleyway, giving someone a blowjob, with wet puddles of goodness knows what under my knees before being pissed, isn’t my idea of a good time. When I wrote Pissturn Alley though all those things were so much fun to think about. Giving myself permission to explore things that I will likely never do was one of the most freeing things I did as a writer and a kinkster. By sharing posts like that with my readers it feels like an extension of that freedom to offer my readers that same opportunity.
That said, I do offer content warnings where appropriate, and when possible, because I only want you to embark on exploring that potentially arousing discomfort if you’re on board with doing so.
This kink of mine also extends to the words I use and not just the things I am writing about. Words have power, this much we know, and I mostly use this power for good but sometimes I use it just to be a dick! For example, there are certain words I know annoy people, to a degree that I find a little bit daft. Writing and we enjoy it is so subjective that the idea of condemning a whole blog because the person uses panties instead of knickers, or dick instead of cock seems daft to me. So sometimes I use words that I know piss some people off, just because I can and that amuses me.
On a less childish note, this also means using words and phrases that I hope might get under your skin in a good way. Sometimes this means being deliciously graphic too. One type of erotica that sometimes come in for criticism is the stuff that essentially resembles porn. Where it’s less about the story more about fucking and it leaves little to the imagination because it’s on the page hard, wet and ready to be devoured. I don’t always write like that but my god when I do it’s fun.
Some folks won’t enjoy it because it’s not realistic and it didn’t seduce them as a reader, and they’re both fair comments, but in truth, I don’t always want to be realistic and seductive. Sometimes I want to be fantastical and forceful. If you’ve clicked read, and read past any content warnings then that’s the consent I need to go on a journey with you and sometimes that journey involves seedy, dirty, lust-fuelled words that make you want to tear off your panties and get down to some hard fucking.
When people ask me why I write my answer is always the same, I write to make people feel something. Does this mean I always succeed in making people feel good things? I doubt it. Some people probably visit me once and leave never to return because I overuse exclamation marks or once used ‘cum’ in the way they deem incorrect. But for those of you that visit me regularly and like what you find, making you feel a stirring in your pants or that tightness in your chest is quite frankly what gives me life as a blogger.
Thank you, each and every one of you, who reads, comments, likes and subscribes to my words. Thank you for indulging and facilitating one of my most wonderful kinks, without all of you I would have one less way in which to be a pervert and that would make me very sad indeed.