On the face of it writing about reading should be a walk in the park. I have loved reading since before I even went to school, throughout my childhood and teenage years I read such a wide range of books that I am sure some of them must have shaped my view of the world in some way, but I really struggled with how to write about reading for the Erotic Journal Challenge, then I remembered two key ways in which words have had or can have an effect on my sexual being.
Reading, Abandoning and Writing Erotica
In terms of kink, books were fundamental in setting the wheels in motion for me to discover my kinky self. I know this next piece of information will horrify many people, but the first kinky book I ever read was Fifty Shades of Grey. I was home with a small baby, a lot of my time was spent in a chair giving him cuddles, and it was then that I downloaded Fifty Shades onto the iPad and decided to see what all the fuss was about.
I am well aware that for many people, and for valid reasons, Fifty Shades of Grey is problematic. However, I am not going into that here, this post is about my personal thoughts on reading in
When I read FSOG my hormones were all over the place, I think this gave way to a new sexual identity being able to form within me and that is when I began to find myself fantasising about kinks when I never had done before. I realised that FSOG likely wasn’t the be all and end all of BDSM, so I ventured onto my kindle and found more BDSM related and finally found my way onto Lovehoney to find items to kick start our bedroom bondage journey.
As regular readers will know my kinky desires didn’t really pair well with my marriage and eventually we parted ways. While it’s impossible to say I do feel like part of what made me a little disillusioned with that relationship was the idealistic way in which BDSM is portrayed in nearly all the erotica I read. I began to see flaws in our relationships that in hindsight were just evolutions of a long term partnership as opposed to undeniable faults that were impossible to rectify which was how I saw them at the time.
By the time I started writing erotica I had completely given up on reading it. To my eyes, it was all the same and it made me crave what felt like an impossible relationship, so I just retreated into my own ideas and began to share them on a previous blog. Later when FlossDoesLife became my blogging home and I started to get involved in the blogging community I was reluctant to read other people’s erotica. Not because you aren’t all wonderfully talented, but because I still had negative associations with erotica.
Piece by piece and blogger by blogger I started to explore the wealth of erotica that is being shared by the wonderful sex blogging community and I was blown away. What I read daily on my fellow blogger’s pages is hands down better than the content I was finding on my Kindle in those early days of erotica reading.
I don’t read any erotica these days that are outside of your blogs. My blogging friends are my only source of erotic writing and I’m quite happy to keep it that way. With erotica novels that are commercially available, there is always something in them that puts me off, especially now that I am immersed in the kink and writing community in the way that I am. You all create such fabulous content though that there seems little need to go elsewhere anyway.
Poetry and Prose
Most of my life I have read crime thrillers and historical fiction, with a fair dose of romantic fiction thrown in, but none of them ever made me feel any sexy feels. What did and still does make me feel something akin to arousal is poetry and also prose written in a particular way. I will try and explain this as best I can but please bear with me if I sound like I’m losing the plot.
When it comes to poetry it isn’t the content that paves the way for the pleasure, it’s the rhythm and the intensity of the words that get me a little hot under the collar. People who write poetry, especially good poetry tend to do so because they are consumed by something. There is a feeling inside them that they just can’t be free of and so they write and when they write their passion or obsession seems to bring their words to life and when I read their words that intensity stirs something within me and it bubbles away inside me and the closest word to describe that feeling is arousal.
This often extends to prose as well, but it is rarer and far more problematic. I can, and sadly have been, wooed entirely by someone writing in a way that made me feel invigorated and excited. The person in question may not be a good fit for me at all, in fact as was the case, they were a disgraceful choice on my part, but their words moved me and more than that they moved within me and I felt helpless to resist embarking on an adventure with that particular wordsmith.
I’m far more aware of this phenomenon than I was when it first came to light, so I doubt I will falling for any inappropriate suitors any time soon and thankfully the writers who cause this reaction in me are few and far between. There is one blogger I follow who does make me have the ‘poetry feels’ when I read their writing but I won’t embarrass them by singling them out.
For prose to have that particular effect on me it tends to be quite rich in its choice of words, with an almost lyrical flow to it. More often than not it is men whose writing triggers this effect and they usually have a certain type and level of education, and that is reflected in the words they choose and the way in which they structure sentences. Also, they tend to be over a certain age, however, there was a younger chap recently who had I been able to see more of their writing could have garnered this response in me.
Have I Ever Mentioned The Smut Marathon?
Suddenly talking about the Smut Marathon might seem a little random, and I promise I’m not just crowbarring it in because I want you all to pay attention to when the voting round next opens, it’s tomorrow FYI.
As I was writing the above paragraphs I was trying to wrack my brain to think of a lady prose writer who has elicited that response from me and I really couldn’t think of one, but my thoughts moved to the Smut Marathon and how I choose who to vote for. Without fail when I am reading all the entries I am looking for the pieces that get me as close to the above feeling as possible. Which will probably explain why the pieces I vote for aren’t always the judge’s favourites, or indeed the public favourites.
Not that anyone would, but this also means that writing to please me is a tricky business. Although as well as having a strong leaning towards rhythmic and what I see as beautiful structure, I also enjoy mayhem, blood, murder and things that are generally thought of as indecent, so I suppose that would help in terms of writing for Floss guidelines and there are definitely a whole host of bloggers who tick those boxes for me.
Love vs Lust
Overall, when it comes to picking what books to read, outside of all your awesome blogs, I’m really not looking for my reading material to be arousing or sexy. For me, reading is about love, not lust. I love the adventures I can go on when I delve into a book, I love falling into a new world and staying there for as long as I’m reading that particular book. Finding new characters to cheer on and new villains to furrow my brow at is endlessly more appealing to me than reading something to turn me on.
That isn’t I don’t enjoy being turned on by the tales my fellow bloggers weave, I absolutely love it, but you are all my exception and not my rule.