Tag: Sexual Pleasure

[Review] I Have Fallen in Love!

It’s true. I have fallen in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love with my new Doxy.

1526923841678.jpegI wouldn’t normally discuss a product for a Masturbation Monday post. I tend to go for a piece of erotica in the hope that some of you will put your hands in your pants while reading it. Sometimes though we are left with no choice but to mix things up.

Continue reading “[Review] I Have Fallen in Love!”

I Wish I’d Taken the Photo

I wish I’d taken the photo.

He’s lying on his back, one arm at his side, the other folded under his head. The fact it is post sex means he is beautifully naked. Exactly as he should be all the time in my opinion. The gym sessions are showing, muscle definition is popping in all the right places. In all honestly I want to have the sex all over again as I look at him.

I wish I’d taken the photo.

Why is it then, if he is so glorious, that I am thinking of you?

Continue reading “I Wish I’d Taken the Photo”

[Review] Nexus Revo Prostate Massager

When I received the email from Lovehoney to say we were receiving the Nexus Revo Slim Remote Controlled Rotating Silicone Prostate Massager in exchange for an honest review, I was delighted. I couldn’t wait to tell Bakji and he too was excited, as we both hoped this product would advance our adventures in prostate play.

IMG_6704Currently our best experience has been with the Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager, but the Nexus Revo promised so much more, and at the double the price I really hoped it would deliver.

In terms of aesthetics, both packaging and product are appealing. A storage pouch is also included, though having previously had two Nexus controllers break, I am inclined to keep this product in the box, just to be on the safe side.

My first thoughts on the Revo were that is feels lovely, the silicone is soft and smooth, and it feel like a good quality product. The vibrations felt nice and strong in my hand, and the rotating shaft felt like it might be a bit of a game changer in terms of prostate stimulation.

As with our previous Nexus product the controls are also easy to use, and charging is simple and effective. Charging time in somewhere under an hour, and play time is around 90 minutes. The added bonus for some people is that it is also waterproof, which not only makes it easy to clean, it can also be used for sexy bath time or shower adventures, which could potentially work out really well for those people who are worried about anal play ‘accidents’ but still really want to explore.

When the time came to use the Revo in a sexy way, we were all set. Bakji was restrained, in what i must admit was a really fun position, involving our suspension point, our gym bench and lots of rope.  I had lots of lube, my sexy medical gloves were on and we were ready to go. In terms of size, and ease of insertion this toy was great, it’s not overly daunting, and would likely be a nice first prostate massager based on that criteria. So in it went and with baited breath I turned the Revo on ….

…. Oh! Bakji’s reactions are not as intense as I’d anticipated. I immediately noticed that the vibrations and rotating shaft didn’t have the instant effect that some of our other vibrating butt plugs and prostate massagers tend to have. I tried a variety of approaches, leaving just the vibrations on, focus more on the rotating shaft, but all in all I just had a feeling it wasn’t blowing his mind, and it certainly didn’t make him blow his load. That was me, credit for that scenes ejaculation is all mine.

While we did use the Revo throughout our scene, my thoughts had turned from lots of excitement to slightly anticlimactic. Our scene was awesome and super sexy, but I couldn’t help but feel the Revo hadn’t enhanced it as much as I’d hoped. When discussing the product with Bakji afterwards he seconded my thoughts.

While the rotating shaft wasn’t at all unpleasant, he mostly knew it was one because he could hear it, as opposed to being able to feel it. It certainly wasn’t giving him the prostate massage we were promised.

The vibrations that stimulate the perineum are good, but don’t seem to stimulate as well as other products, and not really any better than holding one of my own vibrators against that area. Which I do often, so have a fair few memories of it working really well. The best part of the perineum vibrations was when I sat against it and used it for clitoral stimulation, which because the vibrations seem to be focused more on the out part of the product actually work really well.

We also had a bit of an issue with it staying in place, and it seemed determined to slide out, which isn’t great as the idea of something like this for us is for my hands to busy elsewhere while the prostate massager does its thing. While this does happen with a variety of anal toys, we have had great success with other, lower cost products staying put.

Unfortunately when you weigh up cost versus effectiveness this product absolutely falls short. The words ‘intense p-spot massage’ are used in the product description on Lovehoney and there really wasn’t anything intense about it at all. It was definitely pleasant, and it is far from being an awful product, it’s good, but for what it costs I really do want it to be great.

If you’re new to prostate and/or anal play, don’t want anything too powerful and haveIMG_6703.jpg £149.99 burning a hole in your pocket then by all means give this a go. To be honest though it wouldn’t be our top recommendation.


This product and others will be featuring in a future episode of #ProudToBeKinky, where myself and Bakji will be discussing some of the products we have recently used and the experiences we have had with them. If there are any products you would like to hear us discuss then please do let me know, you can also contact us if you have a product you would like to send us in exchange for an honest review.

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

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The Feeling When … New Things Are Awesome

Back in February I wrote Poly Ramblings From a Maybe Mono Mind which probably gave the impression I should give up on non-monogamy. Then last week I wrote Exploring New (and Sexy) Things , I realise the two together possibly make for confusing reading, but I think both are really important in showing the journey I have been on in relation to non-monogamy.

I have worked really hard on finding resources and digging deep within in myself to discover what it is I want and what kind of relationship models I can be part of. I by no means have it all figured out, but I certainly feel like I am making some progress.

This weekend myself and Bakji went on a very sexy adventure. I’m going to keep some of the details purposefully vague, because I don’t want future play partners to feel like every move they make will be chronicled here, and partly because what this blog post is really about is my reactions, not necessarily the specific actions that caused them.

When we headed out on this weekends adventure I had a degree of certainty that play with other people would ensue, I didn’t know how many people that might be, or what exact acts it would entail, but I was prepared for us to explore with others. Now as ready as I felt I was, and excited too I must admit, I still had that awful worry that it wouldn’t go well. I didn’t trust myself to react as I wanted to, I had that uneasy feeling that I’d be jealous, feel left out, or just simply realise I wasn’t into it. As it happens not one of those feelings was present.

What I actually felt this weekends was amazing. We had so much fun. Not only did we connect with other people, but we connected with each other. There was no kink, which was initially terrifying, but the absence of kink gave us other avenues to explore and that in itself was delightful. We focused on sensual touch, massages were plentiful and we revelled in exploring one another’s bodies in a passionate and sensual way. Not to say kink can’t be those things it really can be, but kink sensual and sexual sensual feel very different to me.

I challenged myself in terms of opening up my personal spaces to strangers, and it felt utterly terrifying, but it was so rewarding. While I’m not likely to be allowing any old stranger to hug me, I think I have broadened my own horizons in terms of physical proximity to other people. I learnt that I can enjoy physical touch in a wider variety of ways than I led myself to believe.

One of the comments I see often about non-monogamy is how people feel closer to their partner, both physically and emotionally after exploring with another person, be that a sexual encounter or a romantic connection. I wasn’t sure I’d have this same response. I’ve got to say though, I understand that much more now. Physically I feel like my already ardent desires for Bakji have been super charged. I just want to do more sex, more kink, more everything really and more often. Emotionally, well, you won’t catch me using the ‘L’ word very often, but the best way to explain things is that I feel like the love I have instead of just being present, has taken off and is whizzing round my body, constantly reminding me of how I feel.

Another thing that I felt certain I never would get to grips with, was compersion, or at least I think that’s the best way of explaining what I did feel. There was a moment where I couldn’t help but smile knowing someone else was on the receiving end of Bakji’s attention and that he was also enjoying this exchange, it felt oddly exhilarating, but it also felt really, really good.

I was by no means left out though, there were new hands and new lips, and they were sexy and fun and the newness of them was exciting. I feel desired by Bakji all the time, and he makes me feel sexy and awesome. However that did not diminish the joy in having someone else cause those feelings too.

Two other aspects of I enjoyed and caught myself by surprise in doing so, was exhibitionism and voyeurism. Both of which felt kind of awesome to indulge in. It was wonderful to see people embracing their sexuality, and their bodies and enjoying both in so many different ways. People were glowing and happy, couples were immersed in each other, as the rest of the room fell away for a while.

Technically I guess this was us moving into the realms of being ‘swingers’ from other people’s viewpoint at least, and that’s okay, but I do think the term Swingers conjures up a certain perception that isn’t entirely correct. This honestly wasn’t what I ever imagined an event essentially based around sex to be like. It wasn’t tawdry or clichéd. It wasn’t just about finding other couples and swapping with them, going at it for x amount of time and then swapping back. It was about connecting with people and enjoying them. People were playing in all sorts of configurations. Twosomes, threesomes, foursomes and I think there were definitely some moresomes going on.

It also wasn’t just about P.I.V sex either, which in itself wasn’t completely surprising, but it was still great to see. It does still feel like for some people, in some circles that P.I.V is the end goal of physical intimacy. Providing a penis and a vagina are present of course. Seeing all sexual acts embraced and enjoyed in and of themselves by so many people felt really positive to be around.

Overall I don’t think I have come away with one negative thing to say about this experience. I am really pleased we took the plunge and decided to give it a go. I’m not for one minute saying that this means there won’t be any future wobbles, or issues to work through, I 100% expect to have to work through plenty more stuff as time goes on. I do however feel like I’ve taken some great steps in understanding and exploring myself and that can only be a good thing.

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

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What Do I Think About Orgasm Control?

N.B: This blog post was inspired an email from the Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s. If you haven’t listened to their podcast yet please do so, you can also check out the website for great resources and links on how to listen or follow on social media.


As I’ve touched upon briefly in previous posts my introduction to my own orgasms came pretty late in life, I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was about 28. Up until then my body just seemed to block them out. Sexual activity was nice and defnitely pleasurable but it never brought me close to climax. Even on my own I couldn’t get there. Only after my son was born did my body seem to realise it was it was capable of all kinds of things.

Since that first orgasm things have gone from strength to strength, however it is something I am definitely still exploring and learning about. They are also easily spooked sometimes, it’s been a few months since it happened, but now and again they will just stop. Then will return. Neither of which comes with any warning or with any obvious reasons. For example it won’t always be when I’m stressed or poorly, it will just be totally random.

For this reason when I joined the kink scene I was reluctant to engage in orgasm control. I did dabble with it here and there, and on the whole it was fun with no adverse effects on my abilities. However, the concern remains that if I engaged in long-term orgasm control that I could set myself back and lose the progress I’ve made over the last 4 years or so.

Also on a personal level I don’t really feel comfortable giving someone else the control when it comes to my orgasms. I want to be able to come on my own terms at all times as and when I feel like it. This also includes not coming for periods of time when I’m just not really feeling it.

The only part of orgasm control that I do enjoy as a bottom is forced orgasm. There is no orgasm in the world like the one Bakji gives me when I’m trying to wriggle away, saying no over and over again (and absolutely not meaning it, this is why negotiations, consent and safewords are so important to me) and he is relentless pinning me down and making come over and over until he is satisfied I’m done.

There is some both torturous and delicious about those orgasms. They feel amazing, unlike any orgasm I could ever achieve on my own. I also love the ‘force’ of them, I love the fact I can’t just take them. I have to fight against them while really, really wanting to give into them. Then when finally my body does cave and just gives in to the climax, it feel like if I died from pleasure it would be totally worth it. The struggle and the resistance and the eventual release is just the most fun though.

As a Top I have similar interests. While I do harbour a desire to get Bakji into a Cock cage, I think ultimately I’d fail at enforcing chastity. Luckily for me he isn’t looking to explore for long periods of time, because I don’t think the orgasm seeker in me could take it. One of my favourite things about Topping Bakji is making him come. Just thinking about it gives me the excited feels.

Another part of orgasm control that I am a big, big fan of is edging! It has got to be one of my most favourite actions to administer as a Top. It evokes the most awesome reactions from Bakji and they are reactions that feed my Topping high, which makes it a really valuable and intrinsic part of our play.

Currently the only vagina I get to play with is my own, which isn’t as fun as playing with someone else’s, but I’m ever hopeful that hot sexy vagina play is on the horizon. This again doesn’t come with much of a desire for orgasm denial. I am far more inclined to see how many orgasms I can force out of someone. Again the reactions this elicits is far more arousing to me, than the reactions denial creates.

However, as is becoming the pattern, I’m now going to show how willing to shift gears I am if I really want to play with someone. If I met someone who had a burning desire for orgasm denial, with or without chastity devices, either for short-term or long-term play, I would definitely be open to trying this in a more invested way. Whether I’m in bottom mode or Top mode what really gets me off is pleasing a partner and bringing them pleasure. If someone’s path to finding their true pleasure includes being denied orgasms,  I’m fairly certain I’ll be able to get on board with that.

I think I definitely have a lot more to explore when it comes to orgasms, both personally and with partners. Watch this space for more blog posts on this, I will of course keep you all updated with exciting orgasm developments. I’m not an expert about these things, I’ve definitely figured my own struggles with orgasms out in ways that wouldn’t necessarily work for everyone. I know lots of other people have orgasm struggles though, so if anyone reads this and would like to reach out to discuss this topic, then please do so.