Tag: Sex Blog

#MasturbationMonday – I Have Fallen in Love!

It’s true. I have fallen in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love with my new Doxy.

1526923841678.jpegI wouldn’t normally discuss a product for a Masturbation Monday post. I tend to go for a piece of erotica in the hope that some of you will put your hands in your pants while reading it. Sometimes though we are left with no choice but to mix things up.

Continue reading “#MasturbationMonday – I Have Fallen in Love!”

Hard-Ons, Handjobs and RSI!

Hi, my name’s Floss and I love handjobs. That is giving them. I don’t have a cock to receive them. Well that’s a lie, I do have a cock, it’s made of purple silicone but what that enjoys is a blog post for another day.

So back to the matter at hand (pun absolutely intended). Handjobs. I’ve always been partial to a handjob but have always had partners who were ambivalent about them or just didn’t see the point, mostly in the non-kink days of life, so I guess they were always aiming for the gold standard in non-kink sex of actually ‘doing it’. Alas, my handjob desires went unfulfilled. Isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve ever heard. Truly tragic.

Fear not though reader, do not shed those tears of sorrow for my poor handjobless hand. For I have found a willing participant and he is kind of heart and his willy is hard, a combination that means my desire to give handjobs and cause jizz explosions can finally be realised. It is quite literally, a dirty dream come true.

So the weekend has been and gone, and not being one to kiss and tell, you are not getting all the gory details (sorry folks, my erotica can totally be used for wank fodder though, so go here for that), however it’s probably obvious my hand might have got in on the action. Today is now Monday and the muscle ache in my thumb and hand that began in the early hours of Sunday morning still remains.

Now the questions I have been asking myself are:

  • Was the hard-on so hard that it has bruised my hand? (If so, holy fuck that’s hot)
  • Or have I got RSI from vigorous and repetitive handjob action? (I only have myself to blame for being a big tease if so!)

I don’t think I will ever know for sure, and I may have to rest my right hand while it recovers. Don’t panic though peeps, I can totally do lefty handjobs while righty rests. In fact, maybe this is an excellent opportunity to develop a higher level of handjob ambidextrousness and hope that in the process hope I don’t get handjob RSI in the other hand too. Although if that happens I guess I could just use my feet, but again we have hit upon a topic for another day.