Tag: Self Reflection

[Sinful Sunday] I am … Switchy

This wasn’t the photo I was expecting to take for Sinful Sunday, but I took it among a range of other images, almost by accident. But was the one that made me see my Switchy self the most.

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[Life] Me, Myself and Harry Potter

Image Via Pixabay

I’m a big fan of encouraging self care in others, I think it is really important to look after both your physical and your emotional well-being. Seeing as I realise the importance of this one would think that I am excellent at my own self-care, in this case one would be wrong. I suck at self-care, I’m terrible at identifying I need some me time until I’m so desperate for it that it’s move from nice to necessary. I am trying to be better though and this means knowing what works for me and what doesn’t.

What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?

I like the gym and I like healthy food. Well when I say I like them, I mean it’s tough to stick to them both but oh my goodness they do make me feel so looked after. I mostly cook vegetarian and vegan dinners these days and my body feels so much better for it. I eat a wide range of food, I’m well supplemented where necessary and well versed on what is and isn’t good for me, so no need for anyone to panic that my diet isn’t satisfactory. (As happened when I mentioned vegan cooking on Twitter!)

Continue reading “[Life] Me, Myself and Harry Potter”

[Life] Night Time in The Upside Down

Image via Pixabay

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .

Usually listen to an audiobook or read something on my kindle. If I let myself get distracted by anything else like social media when I can’t sleep then I’ll I end up never getting sleepy. Books though in both their forms are great for helping me relax enough to doze off. Thankfully it isn’t that often that I can’t sleep. Perhaps it would be a preferable option over some of the sleep oddities I do have though!

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .

If it could be an NSFW bedroom then 100% I’d want it to be full of BDSM equipment. A bed with a cage underneath and lots of potential for tying someone to it. All my toys and accessories would be stored in some kind of order and would be easy to access at all times. There would also be enough space for at least 4 other pieces of Bondage equipment, or perhaps it would have an en-suite dungeon attached to it. In terms of colour schemes I’d probably keep it fairly ‘traditional’. I like the black and red or black and purple aesthetics that you often find associated with dungeons.

If it had be SFW though which in fairness it has to be in reality because I have a little boy. Then my dream bedroom would be the kind of bedroom you’d imagine a 5 year old having. All the pink, lots of glitter, unicorns, princesses and cats. I’d have a framed pictured of each My Little Pony hanging up There’d also be loads of cuddly toys including a vast quantity of Build A Bears.

Continue reading “[Life] Night Time in The Upside Down”

[Life] Feeling Sexy

What type of clothes make you feel sexy?

  • a specially selected casual outfit
  • lingerie or silky pyjamas
  • elegant, dressy evening clothes
  • anything that leaves me almost naked

All sorts of clothes make me feel sexy. Latex is a big one for me, there is so much about why I love it that it would be a blog post all on its own. However Latex isn’t the most practical of sexy clothing so I do were a lot of lace, fishnet and leather. High heels are another instant win in terms of feeling sexy. The right heels, a good set of underwear and a nice pair of fishnets would definitely push all of my feeling sexy buttons.

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[Sinful Sunday] Keeping It Cosy

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It’s really grey and rainy here today, and I’ve had a very sleepy week, so I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to get involved with Sinful Sunday myself this weekend. The thought of wearing anything but PJ’s is just too traumatic. Then I figured I can totally make my panda PJ’s sexy for you lot, so here it is, complete with an emoji pillow kissing my bum, lol.


I’m sharing this image as part of #SinfulSunday, follow the link below the lips to see what my fellow sinners are getting up to today. Whatever it is I guarantee there will be some hella sexy images there for you to peruse.

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

[Sinful Sunday] Me, My Camera and I

I won’t lie I wasn’t sure I was going to manage to get involved with the prompt this weekend. Despite having an awesome camera that I love, I always take my images for the interweb with my iPhone. Given the prompt though I really wanted to include my actual camera and I chose to use one of my favourite features that it has …. it can take selfies, with it’s special flip up screen and this gets me far more excited than it should!

Continue reading “[Sinful Sunday] Me, My Camera and I”

[SinfulSunday] Being Vulnerable (It’s Hard To Do)

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I’ve been thinking a lot about ways in which I feel vulnerable and the actions I take to try and protect myself from getting hurt, or simply from feeling unpleasant emotions. I try my best to be open and honest on my blog, and I am … for the most part.

There are elements of my past that are extremely relevant to who I am as a person, why I live the life I do and why I have this blog. They’re not horrific or overly traumatising, but they are the most vulnerable pieces of my story and it hurts to tell them. The truth is I judge myself for that. Even though though I find the courage to be vulnerable in others a beautiful and inspiring trait. 

While this may not seem that relevant for Sinful Sunday, there is a reason I chose to share today. I have been lurking here for a long time, and I am always astounded by how raw and honest many of the images are. Part of not wanting to be vulnerable is making sure my pictures that I share online are very much ‘an image of me’. While I’m not tech savvy enough to do lots of photo-shopping, I am persistent enough and vain enough to make sure my pictures look the way I want so I can portray myself in what I deem to be ‘the internet me’.

In the interest of full disclosure even this week’s image isn’t the me you get first thing in the morning, or the puffy eyed, tear streaked me who has no idea why she’s crying (or does know but is too scared to admit it) or the me that sleeps with the light on sometimes because I’m terrified of my persistent nightmares.

I’m sharing this today because I want to work on being less afraid of admitting some of my truths, not only to others but to myself and to take the opportunity to say how inspiring and touching many of the posts for Sinful Sunday are on a weekly basis, as well as being incredibly sexy.

Please do take a moment to follow the lips to the rest of these weeks Sinful Sunday images and when you find one you love leave a nice comment and show your support to the awesome participants.

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

[SinfulSunday] When In Doubt Wear Red!

Self care comes in many forms. For me it is matching my outer me with my inner me. Recently they have felt a little bit out of sync so I needed to redress the balance. I’m not sure what is says about me that black and red is currently an accurate portrayal of my innermost being. I’m happy to roll with it though because I’m feeling fierce and fiery in my new colour scheme.

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“Do Your Squats

Eat Your Vegetables

Wear Red Lipstick

And Don’t Let Boys

Be Mean To You.”

This is my first time joining in with Sinful Sunday, and I have a long way to go to catch up with some of the seriously talented, sensual, seductive and imaginative photos that get included. Please do click on the link below the lips to see all the wonderful photos submitted this week and consider getting involved yourself.

SinfulSundayLips150
Who else is being sinful this Sunday?

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Friendship – Am I Doing It Right?

I’ve written quite a few blog posts about the friendships I’ve formed since I joined the kink scene, and the last few days I’ve been thinking about friendship a lot.

I don’t require much from my friends, the only main prerequisite for being my friend is that I like you. It’s really that simple. You don’t have to be able to do anything for me, or give me a certain amount of attention per week. I have a friend who I don’t speak to for months at a time, but if he knocked on my door right now, I’d absolutely welcome him in, no questions asked.  

I don’t ask my friends to fight my battles for me or agree with me on everything. I am more than happy to agree to disagree on certain subjects. I don’t expect you to like the people I like, or dislike someone just because I do. Even Bakji, who is a very special friend indeed, you know the sexy romantic kind of friend, I don’t even expect him to keep the same company as me, or ditch people if I don’t personally like them as much as him.

You don’t need to message* me all the time, or invite me to everything you do to be my friend. All I ask is that we enjoy each other’s company when we have it. Whether we are meeting for coffee or going to a kink event. *Hilariously spell check wanted me to change this to massage, for the record I don’t requires massages for friendship either. 

I am not always a present friend. Before I get to be any other part of myself the thing I have to be first is a mum. My instinct is to keep my mothering very separate from everything else, so I won’t insist on my friends joining me and my small human on our many adventures. If however you are my friend, and you have a burning desire to come on our adventures you are very welcome.

This blog and the podcast also take up a huge amount of my time. It is quite honestly a full-time job. Between finding guests, social media endeavours, blog posts and recording, there isn’t actually a lot of time left in the week. Add to that the fact I have other writing projects I’d like to complete one day, and there is even less time left.

Then there’s Bakji, the person who get first dibs on my spare time, and I have no desire to change that. I enjoy my time with him immensely and it’s important to me that we keep our kinky fun alive, sometimes when all the podcasting is done, there’s only enough energy for cuddles. We have to work to make our kink happen sometimes, we don’t live together, the time we can spend together in a week is limited, so I think it makes sense that I’m keen to get sexy with him when the chance arises.

I also have a regular job, and a dad, and non-kink friends. I’ve had days where I’ve had plans and I’ve had to give them all up to go and do an unexpected school run due to illness.

Even when I’m doing all these things though I am always at the end of the phone. My whatsapp is always open. I’m happy to give opinions, listen to problems, hear exciting news, talk about the weather. Honestly whatever pops into my messages I will look at and I will answer.

I know that friendships change and evolve, we become better friends with some people, but other people not so much. Some friends become better over time, other people we grow apart from. This has never really struck me as a terrible thing, it’s just life. Have some friends left my life that I’d still like to hear from occasionally? Of course, but I don’t judge them or myself for their absence, it’s just one of those things.

In these days of social media we can follow a lot of our friends on a variety of platforms, nearly all my kinky friends are connected my one medium or another. I’ve had friends that were romantically involved no longer be so, where I’ve been closer to one than the other, I’ve never unfollowed a person on that basis though. I’m still happy to cheer them on and wish them well in life and social media is often a nice way to do that. Especially when so many of my friends are doing rope, seeing their rope journeys unfold is fascinating.

Part of my reflection this week though is whether or not I’ve got this whole friendship thing wrong, maybe I don’t put in enough effort, maybe I’m to carefree about what it means to be a friend. All because someone I knew I wasn’t that close to anymore saw fit to unfollow me and unfriend me on every common social media platform we have. It’s a not even a block, or a case of account deactivation. So I can still follow her should I want to, but she has no desire to see anything I’m saying or doing. It feels like a very passive aggressive way of ended a friendship, I would rather have had a frank conversation where I was called out for being a total bitch, if that’s the case.

Now I’m left wondering, ‘do I still click the love button on her posts’, or have I not done that enough? Was my friendship contingent on social media likes?

I feel like this shouldn’t matter, that I shouldn’t care. I think the reason it bothers me though is that the only real life friends or even acquaintances that I unfollow or unfriend on social media are ones that have a negative effect on me. So I’m left wondering did my presence in her life have a negative effect on her? If this was the case I would have liked my right to reply, so to speak, and been allowed to change any situation that I caused that made her deem me unsuitable friend material.

I don’t really censor myself here on my blog, and if you listen to the podcast you get a pretty accurate portrayal of who I am and now and again I’ll do a post like this that is quite hard, this issue is upsetting for me, I am sad that for reasons unknown I clearly made someone feel shit. So I’d love some feedback.

  • What is important to you in friendships?
  • What do your friends need to do to make you feel valued?

Maybe if I can gain a greater sense of what people are looking for in a friendship, I can understand where I went wrong.