Tag: Self Expression

#SinfulSunday: Being Vulnerable (It’s Hard To Do)

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I’ve been thinking a lot about ways in which I feel vulnerable and the actions I take to try and protect myself from getting hurt, or simply from feeling unpleasant emotions. I try my best to be open and honest on my blog, and I am … for the most part.

There are elements of my past that are extremely relevant to who I am as a person, why I live the life I do and why I have this blog. They’re not horrific or overly traumatising, but they are the most vulnerable pieces of my story and it hurts to tell them. The truth is I judge myself for that. Even though though I find the courage to be vulnerable in others a beautiful and inspiring trait. 

While this may not seem that relevant for Sinful Sunday, there is a reason I chose to share today. I have been lurking here for a long time, and I am always astounded by how raw and honest many of the images are. Part of not wanting to be vulnerable is making sure my pictures that I share online are very much ‘an image of me’. While I’m not tech savvy enough to do lots of photo-shopping, I am persistent enough and vain enough to make sure my pictures look the way I want so I can portray myself in what I deem to be ‘the internet me’.

In the interest of full disclosure even this week’s image isn’t the me you get first thing in the morning, or the puffy eyed, tear streaked me who has no idea why she’s crying (or does know but is too scared to admit it) or the me that sleeps with the light on sometimes because I’m terrified of my persistent nightmares.

I’m sharing this today because I want to work on being less afraid of admitting some of my truths, not only to others but to myself and to take the opportunity to say how inspiring and touching many of the posts for Sinful Sunday are on a weekly basis, as well as being incredibly sexy.

Please do take a moment to follow the lips to the rest of these weeks Sinful Sunday images and when you find one you love leave a nice comment and show your support to the awesome participants.

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

#SinfulSunday: When In Doubt Wear Red!

Self care comes in many forms. For me it is matching my outer me with my inner me. Recently they have felt a little bit out of sync so I needed to redress the balance. I’m not sure what is says about me that black and red is currently an accurate portrayal of my innermost being. I’m happy to roll with it though because I’m feeling fierce and fiery in my new colour scheme.

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“Do Your Squats

Eat Your Vegetables

Wear Red Lipstick

And Don’t Let Boys

Be Mean To You.”

This is my first time joining in with Sinful Sunday, and I have a long way to go to catch up with some of the seriously talented, sensual, seductive and imaginative photos that get included. Please do click on the link below the lips to see all the wonderful photos submitted this week and consider getting involved yourself.

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Who else is being sinful this Sunday?

Episode 46 – Internal Conflicts of Kink

Find out more about #ProudToBeKinky and listen below on the soundcloud player. You can also listen on most available podcast apps.


Bakji and Floss return without a guest this weeks to discuss the internal conflicts some of our kinks might cause us to have. Inspired by a post Floss saw on Reddit, where the poster wanted to be submissive and also humiliated and degraded yet felt this was at odds with her feminist views.

We decided that this was a great topic of discussion because there are many kinks that often highlight this issue, in some way shape or form. Probably a lot more than we could cover in one short episode. So many of our views on our kinks seem to be shaped by the environment we grew up, and how previous partners have reacted, so what seems like a perfectly acceptable kink to one person, might cause all kinds of conflicts in another.

As well as discussing some of the kinks that most often seem to crop up in this line of thought, we also talk about whether these feelings are part of the reason some of us take our time to find our way to the kink community.

While we have both had a fair while to adjust to our own kinks and on the whole feel very comfortable and excited by them, however we have to make our own adjustments when it comes to exploring new kinks and also in enjoying long-standing kinks a little less, so we talk about those a little too and how we’ve approached those situations personally.

This topic of conversation also bring us round to the subject of how we think our kinks developes. While it could probably be a whole episode in and of itself we do discuss it a little bit. Both Bakji and Floss are now playing with similar kinks, how long we have been kinky and how we discovered them are very different journeys.

We have had lots of lovely messages the past couple of weeks, please keep them coming if you have anything you’d like to share with us. Whether is comments on the show, questions or advice on kink or a topic you’d like us to cover. You can get in touch with us on any of the following platforms:

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, so you can check out our sister shows Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio.

The Importance of Having a Voice

I recently read this post on Poly.Land, ‘Whose Story Is It? On writing Without Permission’, as always a great post by Page, but it was the title alone that got me thinking about writing this blog post, before I’d even had a chance to check in and read the full post. Please do go and give it a read, because my post is not reflective of the content, merely a piece inspired by the title.

My online writing presence began with erotica, I very wrote behind a persona and to that end I could write whatever I fancied and it didn’t matter to anyone. When I started to move into blogging I was suddenly faced with a huge predicament. How did I write about things, and my experiences without pulling other people into the mix? I didn’t really know how, so my blog just didn’t happen for a really long time.

Then I met Bakji, and he probably doesn’t even realise that something he said sticks in my mind to this day and it was his words that eventually got my blog rolling, he basically told me I had to write from the heart and write the things I wanted to write. So that is what I started doing.

The blog posts I write are quite often not just my tales to tell, more often than not they are Bakji’s too. In the early days of me beginning to blog about things relating to our dynamic or my experiences within our dynamic, I was very cautious about not saying things he would be uncomfortable with. I would forward my writing onto him first and I wouldn’t publish them online until he’d given the okay.

Soon enough I realised this wasn’t necessary, I quickly got the measure of what was going to sit well with him and what wouldn’t. Quite honestly though I’ve never wanted to write anything that he would not be comfortable with. I mostly just want to tell people how lovely he is and how I love having him in my life. Feel free to barf from the sickly sweetness of that sentence.

I often discuss this topic with Bakji, and I’m thankful he’s supportive of my blog and my other writing endeavours. I’m also grateful that he doesn’t want to censor me, because my blog wouldn’t be half of what it is without the honesty I am able to inject into it and I can’t be honest if I can’t write about Bakji.

It probably helps that we do the podcast too, there’s really not much we don’t discuss there, especially with the addition of FemDom and Fetish Fun for our Patrons, where we discuss in detail our kinky scenes. There’s not much our readers and listeners don’t know about us now. It’s refreshing though. Especially if our being open and honest about our experiences is useful in some way to the people we are sharing with.

I know there are probably people reading this wondering why I think this is a big deal, but I can only imagine that for every one of us that has a supportive partner, partners or friends who champion our freedom of speech, there are many other people who would love a platform for their thoughts but are censored or silenced for a multitude of reasons. I am thankful that I am not one of those people. 

That’s not to say I don’t respect and understand people desire and need for privacy. I absolutely do. There are many ways to preserve privacy though and still be open and honest within an online setting. I wonder how many people have that concern though, and how many are more concerned with other things, like not being in control of opinions of themselves, or their partner receiving input from others that does not align with their own opinions and interests.

I’ve seen lots of people withdraw, or hold back from writing because their partners were worried about what they might say. You have to wonder in that situation, what it is they’re afraid of hearing. I think Bakji’s confidence in me and my writing is down to the fact he treats me well. Of course, neither of us are perfect, but on the whole I have nothing terrible to put out there. We’ve talked openly on the podcast about areas we both lack in and how we’ve improved, or continually try to improve. So there isn’t a deep dark secret that I’m suddenly going to blab to the blogging community. 

I say this as someone who knows what it’s like to have someone write about me in a way that wasn’t exactly delightful, and it was frustrating to have no control over the light in which they painted me. They didn’t name me though, and they needed to vent. I didn’t fancy them, our friendship had deteriorated because of the imbalance of feelings and that hurt, I get that. I know how it feels to hurt, and when we hurt we want people to support us and validate our feelings. However if I ever pointed out to anyone I know that the writing I’m speaking of is about me, they’d be very surprised to discover I’m not evil incarnate, and that I don’t spend my spare time chewing up men’s hearts and spitting them out.

We all tell our stories in a different way, two people can experience the same thing through very different prisms, but I do believe that each person has a right to share their voice in their own way with the world. Ideally that would be in a way that respects privacy, which I can honestly say I see in all of the blogs I’m fond of.

If you have stories you want to share, then be bold and find a way to share them, and if you’re stifling someone’s voice, please don’t, you never know who might be inspired or comforted by another’s words, and experiences.