Tag: Kinky Play

[Erotica] Panty Passion

I peered through the crack in the door, almost certain of what I’d see and I was not wrong or disappointed. He held in his hands a pair of my knickers, lacy, flimsy and definitely no match for his ever increasing erection.

‘Interesting choice. What made you choose them to wear?’

‘What? I … er …. oh, haha, very funny, no I just found these in my drawer and was putting them back for you.’

‘Or you were planning to wear them, watch porn and have a wank. But now you are going to wear them, not watch porn and be wanked.’

Continue reading “[Erotica] Panty Passion”

[Kink] Getting Risky Makes Me Frisky

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Who else is discussing KOTW?

When I saw the Kink of The Week was risky sex I immediately got excited, then I realised I probably don’t have much risky sex and felt a bit deflated. When I sat and pondered my reactions I realised a two things:

  • I assumed in my own mind risky sex alluded to things like getting caught
  • I assumed sex referred to traditional sexual activity

This was daft because the actually Kink of the Week post included much more that as as inspiration, but I guess my mind was just having a silly pickle moment. It was those assumptions though that left me feeling like this wasn’t a topic for me. While I do enjoy sexual activity in my sexy times, it isn’t always our primary focus when compared to kink activities and it is very rare that it is non-kinky sex. We also don’t engage outdoor sex or any risk associated with getting caught. This is not a reflection on our feelings surrounding other people doing it. It just doesn’t get us off.

Continue reading “[Kink] Getting Risky Makes Me Frisky”

[Kink] How Taboo Is Your Kink? And Why Does It Matter?

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How Taboo Is Your Kink?

When we first start exploring our own individual kinks the vast majority of us seem to expect that we will be the only one into our particular kink. In reality I am yet to meet someone who is the only one with their kink. Which means in 3 years I haven’t encountered a single person who has a truly unique kink, in theory everyone I have met, either online or in person could potentially engage in their kink with another person.

An email from a #ProudToBeKinky listener got me thinking about taboo kinks, and how taboo our kinks really are and whether or not that matters. As always I think there are lots of strands of thinking to this. First of all what is taboo in the non-kink world is very different to what is taboo in the kink community. When you don’t have any other kinksters to discuss these matters with, it can be easy to assume your kinks are uncommon and therefore will shock others when you open up about them.

If you type taboo fetishes into google the first entry offers up:

  • Mecaphilia – Fetish for mechanical objects
  • Tickling Fetish
  • Squashing – defined as having someone sit on you chest
  • Scat Play
  • Electrical Stimulation
  • Golden Showers – aka urophilia, watersports, piss play
  • Sex Parties
  • Balloon Fetish
  • Diaper Fetish
  • Furries

I have had personal interactions, by this I mean conversational exchanges, with people who have between them had all but one of those Fetishes. The only one I have never encountered personally is Mecaphilia. While I admit that discussing any of these kinks over dinner with family or over lunch with colleagues is going to raise more than a few eyebrows and will likely lead to the individual opening up being unfairly shamed for their interests, within the kink community the reaction would be a lot different.

Most reasonable and kind kinksters will apply the ‘your kink is not my kink but that’s okay’ line of thinking to most kinks they do not have a desire to engage in. The exception to this would be if your kink is likely to endanger you or someone else, violates another person consent or involves minors.

Am I Saying No Kink Is Taboo?

Definitely not. There are kinks and Fetishes that for understandable reasons will cause people to either wonder if your reasons for engaging in them are safe, sane and consensual or cause someone who is into them to question their own personal beliefs, morality and state of mind. Many taboo kinks have political or social overtones to them than cannot, and should not be overlooked. I think it is important to both accept and understand why more taboo and extreme kinks and Fetishes might be challenging for some people to hear about and/or witness.

There are certainly some kinks that I would advise people to conduct largely in private unless they were certain the company they were keeping would not feel at best uncomfortable and at worse triggered by being exposed to a kink or Fetish that may have negative connotations for them. Interests that I would say often come under this umbrella for many people include but are not limited to race play, rape play and incest play. Also anything that Fetishsizes and glorifies people or parties that are largely condemned as abhorrent.

Just to be clear I am not saying you should be ashamed of or hide even the more taboo kinks, and I’m certainly not saying you shouldn’t engage in the with a consenting adult. Being mindful and aware of other people’s feelings though is not the same as hiding away and being shamed.

When I opened this conversation on Twitter a follower kindly shared Ugol’s Law with me.

Ugol’s Law will tell you that for every time someone asks the question, “Am I the only one who likes this?” that the answer will always be no. The law stems from the idea that we have more in common as human beings than we might think. It also suggests that once you start looking for like-minded people, you will inevitably find someone who shares the same feelings, desires, and kink as you do. – From Kinkly.com

So whatever our kink we there will be another person with the same interest. Why then do we find ourselves feeling like we are alone in our desires and why does the question of something being taboo matter?

IMG_7285In a group chat with friends I posed this same question and one of them hit the nail on the head with why this comes up again and again. When you haven’t found like minded friends and/or a like minded partner, you may as well be the only person with your kink. With a world population of 7 billion people the chances of you just bumping into a person with your kink at the local pub or at a work event are pretty slim.

Even when you reach the kink community there are definitely those kinks that feel common place, and it seems like everyone is doing them. BDSM, in its full form of Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission and Sadism and masochism, is often used as a blanket term for kink. However it’s quite possible to have a kink or Fetish you are really passionate about and not identify with any of the branches of BDSM. In that scenario I can see how opening up about your specific kink can feel scary even to fellow kinksters.

What is The Solution?

Find a community. This doesn’t mean you have to go to your local munch. Even though I do think this is a great way to actually meet like minded people and increase your chances of meeting someone who will engage in your kink with you. Online communities are also a totally valid way of connecting with people and for the more taboo kinks I think this can be a really good way to feel less isolated.

Also reaching out to people who seem open minded and friendly can often be a great way to share your kinks and be reassured that they’re not as outlandish as you might think. It might even be that they can recommend resources and/or folks with similar interests, even if they are not into it themselves.

Being prepared to start small can often be make or break in whether or not you get to live out your kink not only to its fullest but at all. When you have never considered a kink before being asked to take it to its most extreme is likely to fill most people with a variety of feelings, many of them will make the prospect of trying whatever it is quite daunting. Even those new to spanking, which is am extremely popular kink, are really nervous to give it a try, so being asked to cane someone until they before you’ve tried spanking is going to feel terrifying to most people.

Having some kink is better than having no kink in most situations. If your deepest desire is full on forced feminization, with wig, makeup and a full Latex sissy maid dress, but your partner is wary and wants to start out with lace panties and stockings, then go with that. People take time to find their own comfort zones, especially when it isn’t their specific kink they are exploring. Many kinks crossover though and we can find enjoyment through embracing our own kinks while indulging other people in theirs.

While acknowledging your kink and starting to explore it can often feel isolating and daunting, there is every chance that you are not alone and that you can and will find someone to engage in it with you. Patience, mindfulness and being proactive in a community with definitely help your chances though. If you have found this because you have you own kink or Fetish that you are uncertain about or feel alone with, please feel free to use the contact form to get in touch.

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[Life] Ten Songs That Give Me Sexy Feels

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When Bakji and I get our kink on we don’t always play to music, but when we do I love the vibe the songs I enjoy add to the atmosphere. I know a lot of people don’t enjoy playing alongside music at all, but I’m always intrigued to see what songs make the list for those of us that do. 

Get ready to feel sexy, because these are my top 10 songs (in no particular order) that get my sexy motor running. I’m going to give you 5 that get me feeling dirty, mean and extremely FemDom and 5 that slow me down, and give way to the softer feels that our D/s exchanges give me.

Sick Like Me by In This Moment

Is it sick of me
To need control of you?
Is it sick to make
You beg the way I do?

I love this song so much. It is my FemDom anthem. When I put this song on I can feel my internal FemDom pulling on her gloves and heels and getting ready for action. It is so sexy to play to as well. Just to clarify I don’t think I am ‘sick’ for being into the things I am, but if it legitimately was a sickness I would not want the cure. Other In This Moment songs on my list are Adrenalize and Whore.

Perfect Drug – Nine Inch Nails

I got my head but my head is unraveling
Can’t keep control can’t keep track of where it’s traveling
I got my heart but my heart’s no good
You’re the only one that’s understood

Not only is this song super sexy and perfect for kinky play times, there is a Fetish porn video out there with this song as it’s accompaniment. It is beyond hot. This song gives me so many sexy images in my head.  Other NIN songs on my list are Closer and Ringfinger.

Personal Jesus – Marilyn Manson

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares

Something about Marilyn Manson’s music seems to ooze eroticism for me. Esepcially when he takes a decent song and makes it so much darker and better. Personal Jesus, You’re So Vain and Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) all feature on my sexy tunes playlist.  

Pony – Ginuwine

The things I will do to you
You and your body
Every single portion
Send chills up and down your spine
Juices flowing down your thigh

I am not going to lie … I love the Magic Mike films, Channing Tatum is fucking dreamy as they come, and watching him gyrate his hips and flex his muscles gives me literal tingles in the foo area. The soundtrack to Magic Mike XXL is awesome and this is one of my favourites. For anyone who finds the objectification of male strippers or the male form offensive, you probably shouldn’t watch the video below!

Lie – Black Light Burns

These animals, they operate
On jealousy and lust
I’m taking back what was lost
And I will not be denied

Not only do I enjoy the sexiness of this song, but also the video too. Not only is it musically sexy but it has certain words in there that trigger my kinky feels when used in the right context. I’m a big fan of the whole album this song comes off and another particular favourite is Cruel Melody which also features during sexy times.

Bruises – Lewis Capaldi

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

Fair warning this song isn’t really sexy, or kinky, it’s about breaking up and missing something you had with someone. When I hear the word bruises sang so beautifully though I just go to a place of the feels.

Fall at your Feet  – Boy and Bear

And whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

I think most people know the original of this by Crowded House. While I love that version, there is something about the Boy and Bear cover that just puts a totally different spin on it for me. From beginning everything about this song just screams D/s dynamic to me. Not just from a kink perspective either, this song always makes me think about the intimacy of D/s and how it has helped me build a connection with Bakji in a way I never have with anyone else.

Wicked Game – Stone Sour

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you

I have always been a huge fan of this song, and the Chris Isaak original is glorious. There are so many covers of this song, many of which are really decent versions of it. There is something about the Stone Sour version though that just makes my heart ache. I think it’s the rougher, rockier edge to it. It’s less of a ballad and more, ‘fuck, that was a wicked game’.

Never Be The Same – Camilla Cabello

Just one hit of you, I knew I’ll never be the same
It’s you, babe
And I’m a sucker for the way that you move, babe

I’ve often said that FemDom gives me a high that is quite honestly addictive, and when I’m in full FemDom headspace it feels like something very palpable is running through my veins. This song reminds me of that feeling.

Starving – Hailee Steinfeld

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you
Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo
By the way, by the way, you do things to my body
I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

I had no idea, none at all, that I would take to FemDom with such a fierce and passionate appreciation for everything it entails. It wasn’t until I tried it with Bakji that I finally found my feet with it, and once I did, there was no stopping me. Also there is fishnet sexiness in the video, so I’m definitely putting this in the FemDom feels pile. 

Those are some of my favourites but what are yours. I’d love to hear what your favourite sexy songs are, whether that’s for kink, sex or getting a romantic vibe on the go.


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