Tag: Kink

A Switchy Girl’s Guide To … Aftercare

Aftercare – The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which those involved calm down, and slowly come back in touch with reality.

When I first joined the kink community the concept of aftercare baffled me. As someone who would not consider themselves tactile or overly affectionate I decided that aftercare wasn’t for me. I am not embarrassed to say I was wrong. I think aftercare is for everybody, and what some of us are saying when we say we don’t ‘need aftercare’ is ‘my aftercare looks different to yours’. Whether we have discovered that for ourselves or not.

IMG_7072The go to thought for aftercare is often cuddles with the other participant/s also involved in the scene or play session. Many of us may not be playing with a regular partner though, and many more of us might not feel that comfortable with cuddles. This makes it really important to think about the follow things:

  • What does aftercare look like for you?
  • What does aftercare look like for the other person/people you are playing with?
  • Who Do You Think Aftercare Is For?
  • What aftercare can you provide for yourself when you are alone?

What Does Aftercare Look Like For You?

Aftercare can come in many forms. Often depending on whether the type of aftercare needed is physical or emotional. Some of the more common aftercare needs I’ve come across are:

  • Physical closeness – both with the person you played with, but often also with those you are close too and feel comfortable with.
  • Words of Affirmation – it can be comforting to hear the scene was enjoyed, you are loved, your rosy bum looks beautiful and whatever other affirmations work for you.
  • Hydration and Nourishment – a glass of water is probably going to be no bad thing for most people, types of aftercare snack seem to vary greatly, but are often well received.
  • Peace and Quiet – many people enjoy finding a quiet space post play, sometimes alone, sometimes with a partner/friend. If someone isn’t familiar with a venue it’s always a nice idea to point out where the quiet spots are.
  • Low Lit Areas – Bright lights, similar to loud noises can be quite jarring when you are coming round from a particularly intense scene, finding somewhere with low lighting may ease the transition into reality.
  • Keeping Warm – aftercare blankets, cosy jumpers and onesies all seem like popular choices for those people who feel a bit chilly post scene.
  • Sleeping – sometimes if a scene was particularly intense or draining and sleeping is an option is often a great way for your body and mind to wind down.

Your aftercare might include some of those things or none of those things, whatever works for you is valid though and you should never be afraid to voice what aftercare it is you need. If someone doesn’t take your need for aftercare seriously, belittles the type of aftercare you need or tries to enforce their own aftercare needs, then it may be worth taking a step back from play until you are certain you will be able to manage your aftercare needs on your own.

I would encourage everyone to discuss their aftercare needs as part of their pre-scene negotiations.

What Does Aftercare Look Like For The Person/People You Are Playing With?

If cuddles are your go to and much loved form of aftercare and you start playing with someone who needs minimal physical contact after they play then aftercare needs are going to clash. Like me you might find that you grow to love your partner’s aftercare preference, what happen if you don’t though? What can you do to minimise the chances of drop for all involved without anyone feeling they need to neglect their own aftercare?

  • Compromise – with long term partners or friends, whether they are romantic partners, play partners or both. Some kind of compromises is usually going to be best for everyone. Maybe cuddles is a bit much for one person, but smaller amounts of physical affection could work. Holding hands, gentle petting, affectionate kisses can all go a long way to reassuring someone post play.
  • Outsourcing – this is a lot more caring than it sounds. At events and play parties, especially if playing within groups of trusted friends, it’s not uncommon for aftercare to be found with a person who wasn’t involved in the scene. If this works for everyone involved there is no reason why this isn’t valid.

I’m not a great cuddler, because physical affection isn’t my go to way to express myself. I am however exceptionally happy to spank someone who needs aftercare cuddles. My partner is a great cuddler and is quite often happy to engage in cuddles and hair strokes with our friends. That said if one of my awkward cuddles would help someone out I’d be happy to give that a go.

Who Do You Think Aftercare Is For?

I know at least one person will be reading this thinking ‘but surely the person getting aftercare is the bottom/submissive’, so why is compromise and outsourcing even an issue? The reason being is that Tops/Dominants need aftercare too. Perhaps not always, perhaps not all Tops/Doms, perhaps not with every bottom they play with. At some point though there is a good chance you will play with a Top/Dominant who will need some form of aftercare, or you may experience it yourself as a Top/Dominant.

It takes a lot of energy, both physical and mental to both plan and execute many of the scenes as play sessions we love to partake in. While those scenes can have a Top flying high in Topspace, it also means that Top Drop is a very real and is every bit as unpleasant as sub drop.

What Aftercare Can You Provide For Yourself When You Are Alone?

IMG_7073Aftercare immediately following a scene is great, and we all hope that this eliminates the effects of drop should be susceptible to them. Sometimes though we may need aftercare in the days following a scene or play session, and in these cases we may need to do a little bit of self-care. Solo aftercare varies as much as partnered aftercare does, some of the more popular things that come up though are:

  • Warm Baths and Showers – the perfect time for nice bubble baths and fancy shower gels.
  • Good Food – this might be healthy foods or it might be the biggest bar of chocolate going.
  • Hobbies – Reading, computer games, crafting, the gym. Whatever your hobby of choice is for relaxing or recharging it could be perfect for incorporation into your solo aftercare.
  • Talk to Friends – Sometimes just having someone to talk to can help alleviate some of the systems of drop. Having a support system you can talk to on days you need aftercare can be invaluable.
  • Surround Yourself With Things You Love – Cuddly toys, pets, your favourite mug, whatever makes you smile is worthy of aftercare inclusion.
  • Sleep – Get enough, make it good quality and don’t be surprised if you sometimes need extra in the days follow a kink scene or play session.

I would imagine a lot of Kinksters have neglected their aftercare needs at some point, but the difference good aftercare can make is amazing. Not only is it good for us as individuals, it can also be an important part of building and maintaining trust and support with a growing or established dynamic. Those moments that follow a scene are just as important as what happens within the scene.

Remember, there’s a difference between an aftercare plan and a trigger plan. An aftercare plan is for when everything goes right. A Trigger Plan is for when everything goes wrong. -Princess Kali, enoughtomakeyoublush.com

Above is one of my favourite pieces of advice from Princess Kali. All the advice and thoughts I’ve shared in this article refer specifically to aftercare. I’m coming from the point of view that scene went well. If a scene ends abruptly, if someone uses their safeword or if in any other way the scene doesn’t go to plan, I highly recommend having a Trigger Plan.

My final recommendation for aftercare would be that while immediately following a scene is great, following up with someone a day or two after you’ve played with them is also a wonderful part of aftercare. It can often take us days to process some of the scenes we embark on, especially if we are new to kink, or we are playing within a new dynamic.

This is the third instalment in my ‘A Switchy Girl’s Guide to Kink, Fetish and BDSM’ series of posts. The next instalment will be published on April 9th and is titled ‘Do You Need a Trigger Plan’.  If you would like to hear more of my thoughts you can tune in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife through _Floss_.

#SoSS – Is Your Sunday Sinful?

I wasn’t going to do a #SoSS post this week. With one thing and another I just haven’t had the time to sit and read as many blog posts as I would have liked to. I did however stumble across a tweet from @Mollysdailykiss, which inspired me to take action.

If you haven’t heard of #sinfulsunday, then now is your chance. Hosted by Molly from Mollysdailykiss, it a chance for people to showcase their sexy and erotic pictures. With the shadowban being placed on more and more of our wonderful community sharing these kinds of memes is becoming even more important.

Join in the #sinfulsunday fun

I’ve had a browse through this weeks images and would like to share a few of them with you. The collection is not closed yet though, so you still have time to get involved and add your link into the mix. I won’t be sharing the images in this blog post, as I would hate to share an image without permission, but you should definitely click on the links provided to see them.

The first image that caught my eye from was Daylia Catt, from a post titled ‘Sinful Sunday. Master whipped by back for some fun.’ As both a Sadist and a masochist her image made me squirm with delight. It is seriously delicious. Granted it won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but oh my goodness it was definitely to mine.

We don’t have to be baring all to be sexy, a point proven in a wonderful manner by Posy churchgate in her image ‘Man! I feel like a woman!’ The combination of crisp white shirt, sexy black shorts, fishnet clad legs, and kickass boots made for a really gorgeous image.

That’s not to say I’m not a fan of more flesh being on show though. There is definitely some skin to delight you in kinkyandperky’s image from his post ‘Feeling my collar’. Not only do we get a lovely image, but also a little insight into kinkyandperky’s thoughts on his new collar. I love these insights into other peoples dynamics. I am so grateful that people take the time to share.

As regular readers will know I don’t always say nice things about dick pics. Usually because they come unsolicited into my inbox. I have always said though I am not opposed to well crafted picture of a cock. In Malflic’s image ‘Shades of a Circle Jerk’ we get just that. If you are in possession of a cock and feel like you can take an an erotic shot, then I think we definitely need more sensual and seductive cock shots in the world.

One day I might find my way to get involved in Sinful Sunday myself, but in the meantime I shall just support all the other lovelies that are taking part. If you do decide to take part yourself then I can’t wait to see your images, I know for sure I have some readers who could take delightful pictures to share with us all.

I will leave with an image of my own, that I haven’t submitted for Sinful Sunday, but is definitely a good example of how I like to spend my time. The gorgeous man bod in my ropes is of course Bakji.





FemDom Friday: Sensual Domination Is Valid


‘I won’t be a very good Top/Dominant because I don’t want to hurt people’

Most Sadists will at some point be the Top in a scene, due to the nature of Sadism being a doing thing, not a receiving thing. Not all Sadists will identify as, or have any desire to be a Dominant though. On the flip side of that, many Tops and Dominants have no Sadistic inclinations at all.

‘What can I do to be Dominant though if I don’t like causing pain?’

Pain play is a huge part of BDSM … for some people. It is the SM (Sadism and Masochism) part of the acronym. If you are neither a Sadist or a masochist though, you still have all the other letters to play with. Bondage and Discipline and Dominance and submission. None of which need to involve pain.

Continue reading “FemDom Friday: Sensual Domination Is Valid”

Confessions of a Bad Girl

Written and submitted for Wicked Wednesday. Some of the other writings this week are awesome, so do swing by and give them a read.

I’m a bad girl. I can’t help but think that I deserve a damn good spanking, whrainbowcircle1-150ile being told what dirty, voyeuristic pervert I am. Though to be told that I need to confess something to you first. I am a peeping tom, of the auditory variety.

In my defence, the floors are thin. It’s not as if I can stop myself hearing. I suppose I don’t need to turn all my appliances off so I can hear more clearly though. I could also keep my mind occupied with other things instead of imagining her naked, legs spread, cunt dripping as she fucks herself.

The first time her moans drifted down into my apartment I tried to ignore them, to stay focused. I lasted a good fifteen minutes before my fingers were parting my wet lips, as my other hand found my vibrator in what can only be described as a frenzied urge to come.

I could hear her gasping and moaning, the quiet lulls in sound as she held back before building herself up again. I however was nowhere near as controlled, I wanted that throbbing between my legs to give way to something stronger, the need to feel ripples of pleasure flowing through me was overwhelming.

Today I soon forget her once my orgasm has started to build, my memories take me to a place I know intimately. My minds landscape is filled with images of you. Images of your body as your flesh meets mine, your eyes shining as you tease and deny me. The desire for you intensifies, until the need within me lies like a weight upon my chest. I miss you desperately in these moments. I want to burst forth from my own skin with the frustration of needing you so desperately in your absence.

The vibrator thrums against my clit, and my skin is on fire with the pleasure that is beginning to ripple through me. The walls of my cunt begin to flex and clench, a cruel reminder that you are not here filling me and fucking me. My hips move rhythmically though as if they can somehow will you into being.

The room fills with the cacophony of sounds that escape my mouth, as teeth graze lips and I salivate at the thought of your hands against my throat and your deep whispers promising all manner of depraved things that are yet to come. In this moment even my mouth feels empty without you. I want you to fill it, like I want to fill every part of me. Both physically and metaphorically.

I want your fingers and you cock to push into me and probe every corner of my being that you can reach. While your mouth and tongue fill my own with kisses. Kisses that I will devour with feverish need, so that I can dine out on the memories of them on days like today. I want to drink you in until I’m drowning in you. I want you inside of me and surrounding me, and filling all the spaces in between.

Instead of being filled though I’m being emptied, as my orgasm ricochets through me, leaving no part of me untouched as it gushes out of me in a dazzling display of squirting.

I’m lying here thighs wet, in a puddle of my own juices and it is now that I realise she is not alone. The sound of thighs slapping against arse is too familiar to go unnoticed, and my chest tightens once more with thoughts of you. The tingling fires up again, even though my orgasm has barely subsided. The urges are animalistic now, and I won’t be sated until there is flesh beneath nails and teeth marks peppered across our bodies.

I’m counting down the minutes until you are home, and if you manage to restrain me as the wild urges burst forth and ravage you, then maybe I will get the spanking I deserve.

Is Confidence Affecting Your Kink?

If you are human, and I’m assuming most of my readers are, there is a chance that at some point in life you’ve had a crisis of confidence. More times than I can count I have heard someone use low confidence levels as to why they are too nervous to try a new kink with a partner. This is especially so when is comes to taking control and being the Dominant partner, though that is not to say that is the only scenario that lack of confidence infiltrates.

I have without doubt struggled with this issue myself, aided wonderfully by other people being less than encouraging about attempts I did make to try new things. When I met Bakji things started to shift, due to his constant support, encouragement and kindness and I decided that new things were definitely something I wanted to do.

As many of you will know I have a huge love of FemDom, it is hard for me to believe now, but at one point trying to Top Bakji was an absolutely no. My reason for telling him I wasn’t into it? Confidence. I was scared of getting it wrong, of looking daft or that he just wouldn’t enjoy it. Some of the things I started to notice really helped boost my confidence and I am hoping that by sharing them with you, my lovely readers, some of you might be brave and try something new.

Your Partner Wants Your Attention

IMG_6839.JPGThis is true of any relationship I’m sure. When is comes to BDSM scenes though it is my thinking that this desire is often amplified. When I started Topping Bakji I noticed how well he responded to being the focus of my attention. Yes the specific actions helped make our scenes more arousing, but at the heart of it, being into him was what was fuelling the fire. I know from being the bottom that I find this statement true for myself. More often than not, it’s isn’t always what Bakji is doing that I love most, it’s that it is him doing it.

Your Partner Loves Your Body

Our image of our own body is rarely the image other people have of it. It is rare to encounter a person who doesn’t have, or hasn’t at some point had an issue with their body in some way, shape or form. What that looks like varied dramatically from person to person. What often doesn’t change though is the fact that the person in question has a body that is adored by their partner. I know it can be hard to put aside our own insecurities, especially when feeling exposed, which kink can do both physically and emotionally. There is a good chance though that your partner isn’t looking at your double chin, small boobs or extra tummy, they’re just loving being intimate with you in that moment.

It Is Okay To Do/Wear What Feels Sexy

Following on from the above point, there is absolutely nothing to lose but everything to gain by doing or wearing what makes you feel sexy. Even if it isn’t on your partners list of things they love to see you in, I am convinced that if we feel sexier we act sexier. So if their preference is for Latex, but you rock up in a lingerie ensemble that gets you going, then I don’t think they’ll be complaining. Sometimes the confidence boost we need isn’t an obvious one, for some of us it might be killer heels or wicked eyeliner, for others it might be jeans and a t-shirt. I am a big believer in what makes you feel good is well worth bringing into a scene, because that confidence will shine out of you and make you even more irresistible than you already are.

Your Sexy Doesn’t Have To Be My Sexy

Lingerie is a big business, as is Latex for us kinky folk. If nothing that is traditionally orIMG_6836.JPG commercially pegged as ‘sexy’ floats your boat then that doesn’t mean you can’t rock a sexy outfit. I have on more than one occasion turned Bakji’s head with my £4 Primark leggings! My gym wear also has the desired effect. I think if we dig a little deeper in to what makes our partners sexy minds tick, there is a lot of room for imagination when it comes to creating a look you will both find appealing. This applies to the words we use, the kinks we play with and anything else we choose to incorporate into our sexy lives. If something gets you and/or your partner off and you’re both happy to engage in it said activity then I don’t think it matters if anyone else would find it sexy.

Sensory Deprivation as a Tool

If you main concern is looking silly if you get things wrong when taking charge of a sexy session, then sensory deprivation is your friend. I found a blindfold invaluable when I started Topping Bakji, if he couldn’t see me then he had no idea what I was doing. Even if I was stood dithering about what to do next, he just felt the anticipation of not knowing what was coming. Depending on what your partner is into, and how far you are willing to take this, we have also used sound reducing headphones, gags and restraint all to the effect of helping me feel more at ease with being in control.

Talk About Your Kinks

One of the other reasons I decided I want to give FemDom a try was Bakji’s enthusiasm over what it entailed for him. Knowing how exciting it could be if we enjoyed it together was a really great reason to try it. In talking through what he really loved, I learnt what things would be almost fail safe ways to get him aroused and feeling subby. If we hadn’t taken that time to get to know each others kinks and sexual turn ons, I’m certain it would have taken me a lot longer to gain the confidence I now have when Topping him.

Are there other things stopping you from giving something a try? Or have you got other ways you found your confidence in kink? Either way I would love to hear from you. You can get in touch through any of my social media links or you can leave a comment below.

A Switchy Girl’s Guide To … Frenzy, Drop and FOMO

FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out

Frenzy, drop and FOMO are to my mind a trio of spoil sports who given half the chance will definitely ruin our kinky fun. Knowing that they are always lurking around the corner ready to attack is half the battle, accepting they will happen and learning how to deal with them, gives you much more control over the effects they will have on you.

Frenzy, more often than not referred to as subfrenzy, a term I am going to avoid. While it is my experience that those exploring their submissive tendencies do suffer frenzy more intensely, Tops and Dominants are not immune to it and I think it remiss of anyone to think their kink label will stop them from having the down sides of engaging in BDSM activities.

Frenzy – A strong, sometimes overwhelming desire to find partner or to become immersed in Kink activities. Often seen in people who have recently discovered their kink identity or have not engaged in kink activities for a long time. People in the midst of frenzy may make unwise or unsafe choices.

When we join the kink scene, for many of us it is a treasure trove of new experiences, and in our excitement to find like minded people we rush to gather up all the new shinies, not for a moment stopping to take a breath and consider what it is we are actually trying to find and who we would like to experience that with.

Frenzy can lead us to make a myriad of bad decisions. We can play beyond our limits, we can choose ill suited partners and worst of all we can forget how important it is to look after ourselves and keep ourselves safe. I have spoken before about my own experience of frenzy. I talk about it open and honestly because I want to help others avoid the same mistakes.

My personal tips for navigating frenzy are:

  • Research – yep read the books, check out websites, listen to podcasts, really get to grips with what it is YOU want as a submissive. That shit matters. Learn how to effectively negotiate and advocate for yourself. And NEVER, EVER be afraid to do so. A Dominant who does not respect your ability to do this is not a Dominant worth having
  • Keep Good Company – As I’ve already mentioned, find good friends and get do things with them. Whether those things are kink related or non-kink adventures. Keep busy and active. Places Like Loving BDSM that offer an online community are also wonderful for this. I do not want to discredit the benefit that online friendships can offer. They too can be invaluable.
  • Play with Friends – Provided you have found a good network of kinky friends, then playing with them can absolutely be a valid way to avoid frenzy. I would much rather help a friend out with some rope play and a spanking, knowing I would play safely and look after them post play, rather than have them off out alone in the wilderness of frenzy. Kinky friendships I have found are by their very nature a little more intimate than the friendships we get used to in non-kink life. So the type of support we can offer each other sometimes does come in the form of play and intimacy.
  • Safe-calls – OMG! YES! Please, please, please let’s make these more of a thing. Even if you are going to play with someone who is trusted. Let someone know where you are going, who you will be with and agree to check in with them. If you are playing with someone who seems concerned by the arrangement of a safe call being in place, then my advice would be to not play with them. No one should be wary of or alarmed by your desire to protect yourself.
  • Exercise – This is one of my favourites, and a personal method I use to keep myself from in a good frame of mind. It can take some time to find something you enjoy, but I think it is well worth finding a physical release. I love to hit the treadmill, and am going to branch out into outdoor running once little dude is back at school.
  • Writing – No surprises that I’m a fan of this too. Whether it’s a private diary, or an online blogging. Writing can be an extremely valuable tool in working through what you are feeling. It is one of the reasons I started my blog. While it has deviated from initial idea, it’s a great way to work through my thoughts and share that with others.
  • Look After Yourself – Whatever you need to do to issue some self-care, do it. For me it’s eating well, indulging in Harry Potter, hot showers, herbal teas and a nice blanket. Your self care will look different and that’s okay. I like to think of it as a date with myself.

More often than not frenzy does not come alone, it will likely be followed a pain in the arse bedfellow that we refer to as drop. Drop is extremely unpleasant and can range in intensity in dramatic fashion. The first experience of drop I had made me want to leave the kink scene altogether. It made me feel awful about the things I’d experienced, and worst of all it lasted a few days.

I now know that my drop was this bad for a few reasons. I wasn’t playing with someone I knew well, I experienced too much, too soon, I had no idea of what I was actually looking for, I said yes to everything and I had no idea I needed to ask for support for what I was feeling. Luckily for me I had a friend identify what I was going through, and a friend that I turned to who pulled me back from leaving the scene and also from letting me indulge my frenzy any further.

Drop – A state of emotion following some Kink sessions. People can experience a wide range of emotions from tearful to angry to shame and more. This can happen immediately after play or many hours later, making it hard for people to recognise what it causing the feelings. It can last for a few hours or days and can often be prevented by good aftercare.

Unlike frenzy, which thankfully seems to become a distant memory after we learn to navigate our kinky ways, drop tends to remain in some capacity for many of us. These days it tends to hit me only after a particularly intense scene with Bakji. The way people deal with drop really does vary, so I can only share what works for me in avoiding it and easing it when it does it.

  • Aftercare  – Identify what aftercare you need and ask for it. As someone who isn’t big on cuddles, it was a shock for me to realise I need a lot of those as aftercare. Don’t let anyone tell what your aftercare should look like either. You might need a glass of water and alone time, and that is just as valid as chocolate and a cuddle.
  • Be honest – Accepting I had drop and talking about it was a huge turning point for me. Beginning to share my post play feelings with Bakji made my drop far less frequent, and eased it much sooner when it did occur.
  • Be self aware – For me this means avoiding certain types of play in certain moods. This will look different for everyone, but if I’m overtired or anxious about something, there are certain types of play it’s good for me to avoid until I’m in a brighter mood.

One of the things that seems to fuel both frenzy and drop is FOMO, that awful fear of missing out. What if we don’t go to that party? Will everyone forget about us? Will we miss our chance to ever be kinky again? The answer to those question and many more is no. It’s easy to convince ourselves that every opportunity missed is going to be the best night ever without us there, in reality chances are you aren’t missing out at all.

My best advice for FOMO is embrace whatever it is you are doing that stops you from being where you think you’d like to be. For me that was often at home on Mummy duty, while my new kinky friends were to my mind having the best party ever. I didn’t always manage this but what I should always have done is got myself some great food, planned some fun activities with my boy, administered some self care in terms of a luxurious bath and indulged in a good book or a cheesy movie.

These days I think I have a handle on drop and FOMO and frenzy is largely a distant memory now. The hardest part of all these things though, especially as someone new to kink, is accepting that they happen, identifying that they are happening to you and being prepared to seek support and take care of yourself when they hit.

We are all so very different in how we experience these things, if you are struggling with any of them, or are worried you didn’t identify them in the past then you are more than welcome to use the contact form to get in touch and I’d happily discuss them with you in a way that is more applicable to your own situation.

This is the second in my ‘A Switchy Girls Guide to Kink, Fetish and BDSM’ series of posts. The next installment will be published on March 12th and is titled ‘Aftercare – With or Without a Partner’.  If you would like to hear more of my thoughts you can tune in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife through _Floss_.

#SoSS – Share Our Shit Saturday (on Sunday)

I’ve been following and re-tweeting #SoSS (Share our Shit Saturday) for a little while now, but this is the first time I’ve joined in with my own post. If you would like to know more about the movement amongst bloggers then please read the awesome post by ErosBlog for the lowdown.

As much as I love supporting and championing other bloggers, especially those that writeIMG_6383 about kink, sex and other things much of the world still deems inappropriate for grown adults to discuss online, I am often terrible as getting round to reading as many posts as I’d like to. However with my recent decision to get involved in the Smut Marathon, I’ve found myself carving out more time to visit other writers and I want to share some of the posts I’ve read this week.

First up is Disclosure from Karin at theswingshift.co.uk. I loved this piece about finding a home in kink and often having to keep that secret from the world around us. When what we actually want to do is scream from the rooftops how happy we are to finally have that sense of belonging. It is a scenario that many of us can identify with. Even people like myself who are fairly open with their lifestyle, still have these moments.

Karin also wrote Kinky Mother, which I absolutely adored. As I am writing this round up I am also sat on the sofa with my 6 year old, taking it turns playing a pool game on his tablet. I don’t write about being a Mum very often though, but I love it when other people do. This post absolutely captures what it is to be a Kinky Mother.

I’m A Primal Here’s What It Means To Me is a post written by Charlton C. Tod who I recently discovered through him being a fellow Smut Marathon entrant. His recent post about what being a primal means to him was definitely informative for anyone who might being wondering what primal is, or whether it might be for them. I’ve always thought I had a bit of a Primal/prey side to my sexual nature, and Charlton’s post did wonders for confirming this.

My last post for my first #SoSS is Endless Possibilities – Being Part of an Open Poly Family from the wonderful Pixie Heart. I love Pixie’s blog, it is honest and open and gives people an insight into a family dynamic that many people would be baffled by through sheer lack of information. I think it’s so valuable to have people like Pixie opening up about her home life. It is posts like this that will hopefully help educate people about being polyamorous and/or non-monogamous.


There’s a chance you are already fed up of me mentioning the Smut Marathon, but the voting is now open for the first round. You can read all the wonderful metaphors we have written and place your vote for your top three. It has already proved a huge challenge for many of us, so your support means so much to us all.