Tag: Fetish

#SinfulSunday – Where He Belongs

Ownership isn’t part of the dynamic I have with Bakji, as intense as it is our kink dynamic is fairly casual and is only in place during a scene. During those scenes though he is all Mine and by that token I can do as I wish with him, and that is truly wonderful. This weekend we had two amazing scenes and I feel like this picture I took not only encapsulates this weeks prompt of ‘underneath’ but highlights a lot of what I love about our kinky sessions.

IMG_9035
Underneath Me. Beneath Me. Branded. With Blood. 

Sinful Sunday is all about the image, and the lovely people who join in create some outstanding photos, so please do take the time to visit more of the entries. I’m sure they would all appreciate some likes and comments if you really enjoyed their piece. Click the link below the lips to find this weeks link up. 

SinfulSundayLips150
Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to BuyMeACoffee.

Buy Floss a coffeeBuy Floss a coffee

 

 

 

 

Do Feet Make You Frisky?

Feet? As a kink, you know what they say ‘your kink is not my kink and that’s okay’. Feet are icky, don’t touch mine. In fact don’t even think about touching them. Touch your feet? Hell no! Feet are not sexy.

-Quote from a very clueless me!

IMG_7947When I started my journey in FemDom it was fairly early on that I noticed a shift when it came to my viewpoint on foot fetishism.  Suddenly I noticed that actually having Bakji kiss my feet would be awesome. FemDom makes me feel like I am the Queen of everything and what Queen doesn’t deserve to have her feet kissed and massaged and generally fawned over at all times.

Continue reading “Do Feet Make You Frisky?”

A Switchy Girl’s Guide To … Trigger Plans.

Try as we might to ensure all our BDSM scenes and play session go smoothly, there is always a chance of something not going according to plan. When an action, phrase or scenario stimulates a reaction in an individual we refer to it as a trigger.

Trigger – an experience that provokes or generates a memory or reaction for someone

For the purposes of this article I am referring to the kind of triggers that are unwelcome and will likely end your scene and require all participants involved to know what the next steps are after the trigger has occurred. It is worth noting though that triggers can also be used to stimulate welcome reactions, but this should absolutely be explored after negotiation and with consent.

Triggers may be known to us, or they may be something we stumble upon during play. I have been trigger twice during my time as a kinkster and both times they were things that I did not know to avoid. Now I know and I would actively mention the activities that triggered to future partners as hard limits.

It can be mortifying to everyone involved when a trigger is found, especially if you weren’t expecting it. Nobody likes to be the one to end a scene early, but there is no good to come from blaming ourselves or others when this happens. It is one of the risks we accept when engaging in kink and how we deal with it has the potential to be a defining moment in whether or not a dynamic is successful or indeed if someone chooses to continue exploring their kinks. Not to mention that some triggers may relate to past abuse, including but not limited to things like rape, sexual assault, physical assault, verbal abuse and domestic violence. All triggers are valid and important but it is worth remembering some may transcend what we are used to handling in our own lives.

Reassuring. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. These should be the kinds of things we aim to provide with a trigger plan. Ensuring our partner/s a safe space to recover and work through the feelings they have encountered.

To give a comprehensive list of what things might trigger someone would be impossible. Physical actions, name calling, teasing,  specific words, smells, songs, body positions, tone of voice, emotions, noises, individual people, are just a few things that might trigger someone. While that may make it seem like a terrifying prospect to play with anybody, just in case you trigger them, the solution to navigating triggers is simple. Communication.

Anyone and everyone who offers advice or education on BDSM will mention communication so often that you will wonder if we get some sort of commission from a secret communication organisation. The truth is, we go on about it so often because it is so incredibly important. Discussing past experiences, current desire and hopes for your kinky future can go a long way to highlighting what might be a potential trigger.

Even with due diligence and everyone’s best effort, things can still go wrong. It might be with a new partner, it could be after years with being someone. Sometimes it might make sense, sometimes it might not. Whatever the situation or the specific trigger what can we do to help someone after the event.

As with everything in life individual cases will differ, but some of the more popular things that get included in trigger plans are:

  • Physical affection and closeness
  • Being in company
  • Being left alone
  • Food and drink
  • Staying warm and cosy
  • Peace and quiet
  • Talking things through
  • Taking their mind of it
  • Anything that offers comfort – cuddly toy, favourite music, favourite movie etc

Trigger plans are not just for bottoms and submissives. Tops and Dominants may also require support after triggers too. If as a bottom or submissive you are wondering how you help a Top or Dominant through a trigger, the answer is simple, treat them like a person and offer them the same kindness you would want for yourself.

IMG_7094It can be extremely tough to watch someone you care for suffer the effects of being triggered, especially if it is your actions or a thought you induced that caused it. While in the immediate moments and days after a trigger are quite rightly likely to be focused on the person who experienced the trigger, I would recommend that once you feel able to that you check in on your partner and enquire after their feelings on what happened.

When done correctly everything we do in kink we do together. Whether you are engaging in a long term D/s dynamic or a one time Top/bottom exchange. No one is exempt from feelings, and everyone has the potential to be triggered. The balance of giving and taking is far easier when things are going right, but keeping that same balance when things go wrong is often a lot harder, but it’s just as, if not more imperative to get right in those situations.


This is the fourth instalment in my ‘A Switchy Girls Guide to Kink, Fetish and BDSM’ series of posts. The next instalment will be published on May 7th and is titled ‘BDSM Labels and Roles’.  If you would like to hear more of my thoughts you can tune in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife through _Floss_.

The interaction between myself and my readers is what truly keeps my blog going, your likes and comments always make me smile, if however you would like to support what I do in other ways you can follow the link below to buy me a coffee.

Buy Floss a coffeeBuy Floss a coffee

FemDom Friday: Be Prepared To Find New Kinks

This one is actually great advice for anyone exploring kink, fetish and BDSM, regardless of the initial interest that begins their exploration. Without exception every kinky person I have had in depth conversations with about kink has discussed at least one kink they never knew they had or never believed they would be into.

Fledgling Floss: I would never do piss play

FemDom Floss: OMG I sooo want to try piss play

Fledgling Floss: What happened to I would never … ?

FemDom Floss: *shoves a gag in Fledgling Floss’ mouth*

Bringing it back round to FemDom though, a journey many of us embark on in a fairly low key manner. Often with a little hesitation thrown in too due to many of the thoughts I will be addressing in these articles; Will I get it wrong? What if I’m not Dominant enough? What if I’m not a Sadist? These list goes on.

We decide to take the leap into FemDom though and we start off tentatively, gently exploring what it’s like to be in charge of a scene or to set a daily task for our submissive and for many of us one day there is a shift. Or maybe several shifts over a long stretch of time. Before you know it though you look back and wonder when it was you changed gears and became into so many different kinks.

I can only speak as a woman who enjoys Domination, so this is probably something that occurs for all manner of Dominants, submissives and kinksters. Bear in mind though that I am specifically discussing my FemDom experiences. The reason I point this out is because for me this shift in kink gears was thrust much further due to my interest in FemDom.

Those things I thought I’d never do, I suddenly got them. I could see their potential and the reasons they could be arousing. In learning to exercise my control of our kinky sessions I found myself wanting to take us further in our explorations and this meant exploring new kinks.

The things that can sometimes startle us as fledgling kinksters can soon become something we are curious about once they become more familiar to us. Some of our initial reactions to things come from our social conditioning, we are told as we grow that certain things are ‘wrong’, ‘dirty’ or ‘shameful’. It can take time to reframe them as not only acceptable but as a potential kink. It’s also worth remembering that for some of us wrong, dirty and shameful are the exact words that turn us on.

For me FemDom unlocked a part of my brain that decided to give no shits and embrace my desires no matter what they were. Under the proviso of the usual disclaimer that those desires were not illegal and were undertaking with another consenting adult. Or adults in the plural for some of my kinks.

The reason I chose to focus on this as a complete topic is because I don’t think I am alone in this discovery, and it is a discovery that can be a little alarming depending on what new kinks it is you develop. It can be even harder to admit to your partner/s that you want to try something new, especially if you don’t know their feelings on it.

My tops tips for discussing newly discovered kinks are:

  • Write them down – It can be scary verbalising these things, especially if you’ve been on the receiving end of ‘you’re into what?’ at any point in your life accompanied by that awful grimace of disgust people do. Writing things down give you time to select your wording and gives the other person time to process.
  • Offer them as an option not as a requirement – Our kinks don’t always align even with the best will in the world, so never assume your partner will do them.
  • Create a safe space – You don’t have to be into a kink to accept a kink. Letting your partner know they can discuss any kinks without fear of judgement is a wonderful thing and hopefully will mean they offer the same to you in return.
  • Find a low level entry point – Even the most extreme kinks have a low level starting point (more on this in a future article).
  • Incorporate new kinks into masturbation – This won’t be possible with every kink, but is perfectly possible to explore many kinks alone. Which gives you an understanding of how much you enjoy them and how you might like to explore them with a partner.

If you actively want to find new kinks, which is definitely a lot of fun. My top tips for that would be:

  • Keep an open mind
  • Be a curious kitty
  • Use a Fetish Checklist/Activities sheet
  • Talk to fellow kinksters
  • Head to a play space/dungeon/fetish night
  • Attend workshops/demos where possible
  • Check out kink/fetish/BDSM porn
  • Browse kink equipment online
  • Where possible give things a go

There are a few phrases that pop up in the kink community quite often, two of which are definitely applicable for this topic.

Don’t Yuck My Yum

And

Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But That’s Okay.

One of the reasons I never yuck anyone’s yum is because I am never 100% certain it won’t one day become my kink. As for YKINMK, great. How dull would this community be if we all liked the same stuff?


If you would like to hear more of my thoughts on FemDom and Kink you can tune in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife.

The interaction between myself and my readers is what truly keeps my blog going, your likes and comments always make me smile, if however you would like to support what I do in other ways you can follow the link below to buy me a coffee.

Buy Floss a coffeeBuy Floss a coffee

Cuckolding. It’s Not Completely Cuckoo!

Cuckolding. Is It What You Think It Is?

The dictionary definition of a cuckold is, ‘the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision.’ In terms of cuckolding as a kink or Fetish there is a lot missing from that sentence to get a clear picture of why people enjoy cuckolding with the kink community.

I’m going to start with the term adulteress. Adultery is defined as extramarital sex that is objectionable on the grounds of social, religious, moral or legal grounds. In terms of consensual cuckolding as part of a kink lifestyle, I don’t think many people would identify themselves as an adulterer. While society may class any extramarital sex as adultery, when the sex in question is strengthening or adding to your marriage or long term relationship, it doesn’t really come under the same category as infidelity.

There are many branches of non-monogamy, some of which are more familiar overall than others, but all of which are misunderstood by anyone not well versed in them. Cuckolding is no different. Within the kink community anyone who is engaged with cuckolding, if doing it in a healthy manner, will have consent from all parties involved, boundaries and/or limits they adhere to and lots of communication.

There are as many ways to conduct a cuckolding relationship as there are people into it. It isn’t one size fits all and we shouldn’t assume everyone does it for the same reasons. Yes many men who identify as a cuckold will be into humiliation and that will be huge part of the dynamic with his partner, however many men will not engage in the humiliation element of cuckolding and their dynamic will focus on other aspects that cuckolding can encourage.

The paragraph above was very gender specific, which is something I normally try to avoid, but I specifically went there because when most people think of cuckolding they think of a cisgendered heterosexual man, whose wife or certainly female partner is cheating on him with another man or multiple men. As with most, if not all kinks though, cuckolding does not have to be, and is not gender specific. People can be into cuckolding no matter their gender, sexuality or kink identity.

If It Isn’t Always About Humiliation, What is It About?

Validation of Choices – Have you ever felt pleased when someone complimented you on a new purchase? Be that shoes or car. Knowing someone else is attracted to your partner can cause that same feeling. That isn’t to say that this kind of validation is needed for people to love or be attracted to their partner, but it can certainly enhance arousal.

Power Exchange – Being stripped of your ability to have input while your partner engages in sexual activity, while you not only get none for yourself but may also be ‘forced’ to watch as they fuck someone else can be an extremely arousing situation for some people. It is worth repeating that these kinds of dynamics need clear negotiation and explicit consent before being embarked upon.

Sexual Arousal – For many people it is arousing to see their partner or hear about their partner being sexual with another person. There will be no more or no less to it than that.

Exploration of Taboos – Exploring and experiencing things we have grown up being told are wrong can be a really powerful sexual motivator. Cuckolding lends itself well to many people exploring a lot of societal taboos.

Escapism – As with many kinks, engaging in cuckolding will be a way of letting go and escaping the everyday for many people. That isn’t to say there aren’t 24/7 lifestyle cuckolds, of course there are. There are probably more casual cuckolds though who simply enjoy it when they can to take a step away from daily grind for a while.

Chastity – Lots of men are into chastity. Not all of them are into cuckolding. However, for some men into chastity one of the things that makes being locked away even hotter is knowing that other penises are free to fuck the woman that owns their very locked up cock.

Humiliation – Why have I have saying it isn’t about humiliation only to go and say it is? Easy, because when people think of the humiliation aspect they often get it wrong. Erotic humiliation can be extremely arousing and powerful form of emotional masochism. To engage in humiliation in a healthy and constructive manner you need to have oodles of trust in your partner, great communication skills and a really good idea of what humiliation means to you. Humiliating your partner without their consent is just abuse, fucking someone else to humiliate your partner without their consent is cruel not kinky. Being able to embrace your desire to be humiliated takes a lot of strength and courage, so it doesn’t necessarily correlate with the usual assumption of a cuckold being weak.

Cuckold? Really? Can We Have Another Word?

The origin of the word cuckold comes from the Cuckoo* bird’s habit of laying its eggs in another birds nest, therefore the unwitting bird will raise offspring that is not its own. Originally being used to refer to men whose partners were deceiving them by sleeping with another man, or men who were unwittingly raising another man’s offspring. With means that it is a somewhat imprecise term for many people who are into cuckolding.

IMG_7318.JPGAlternatives are thin on the ground though, and probably don’t provide many better options. HotWife lifestyle is probably the only other descriptive that offers similar activities but without the associated negative connotations of its roots being in infidelity and humiliation. However I am well aware many people would not feel it is suitable for them, and I am neither supporting nor condemning it.

*Because disclaimers are all the rage I feel obliged to mention that not all species of Cuckoo do this. I do not want to offend any non-cuckolding Cuckoos or any Ornithologists.

When it comes to terminology, there are some options but again I don’t think they feel like the right fit for everyone. Especially if gender specific terms are not appropriate or wanted.

Cuckquean – Female variant of a cuckold

Bull – Man with whom a cuckold’s partner is having sex

Cuckcake – Woman with whom a cuckqueans partner is having sex

What if you are the partner who is free to enjoy sexual encounters while your cuckold stays home or watches the fun in some cases? You may be a CuckQueen (note this is different to cuckquean), Cuckoldress or HotWife. Interestingly male versions of these terms do not seem to exist, so make of that what you will.

Surely If The Terms Don’t Fit Your Kink Is Something Else?

Yes and no. There is a specific element of cuckolding that you don’t get with other branches of non-monogamy or kink. While your partner is fucking someone else, you aren’t. You’re not fucking them and you’re not fucking anyone else either. Maybe you’re watching, maybe you’re sat at home alone or maybe you’re at work knowing your partner is getting their kicks anywhere but with you. Why someone is turned on or content with that might vary, but the specific nature of cuckolding means that you are not providing the sexual pleasure.

Perhaps if we saw more positive and honest examples of this particular kink we would be able to move away from the negative and sometimes incorrect assumptions that usually come with it.

Floss Is Wrong and She’s Ruining My Life

Wow! Sucks to be you then.

On a more serious note I realise that for people who live this lifestyle I may not be supporting the truths of how they view cuckolding and what that means to them. Unfortunately though no matter who you are or what your kink is, it is going to evolve and cuckolding is no different.

It is evolving and as such demanding people do it in one particular way is going to achieve nothing. The ‘one true way’ BDSM folk are dwindling, though still existing I grant you that, because their reluctance to accept new and/or alternative ideas makes them seem unpleasant and elitist.

Surely someone understanding, supporting and embracing something even if only from time to time is better than them having no outlet for their desires and being unfulfilled.

Before, during and after I wrote this I perused cuckolding forums and cuckolding groups on Fetlife and Reddit to ensure I wasn’t making any absolutely absurd claims. I do not want to misrepresent anyone, and I do not speak for the entire kink community on this blog, what I do want to do though is challenge people’s assumptions of a wide variety of kinks and try to encourage more acceptance of not only kink in general, but for kinks that may not be our own.

My blog mainly reaches people who are new to kink and are looking to learn and as such I try present my information in a way that is supportive, non-judgemental; and will hopefully give people a starting point for what may or may not be their kink. For that reason it may not match your own experience if you have been in the lifestyle for a long time.

The interaction between myself and my readers is what truly keeps my blog going, your likes and comments always make me smile, if however you would like to support what I do in other ways you can follow the link below to buy me a coffee.

Buy Floss a coffeeBuy Floss a coffee

How Taboo Is Your Kink? And Why Does It Matter?

How Taboo Is Your Kink?

When we first start exploring our own individual kinks the vast majority of us seem to expect that we will be the only one into our particular kink. In reality I am yet to meet someone who is the only one with their kink. Which means in 3 years I haven’t encountered a single person who has a truly unique kink, in theory everyone I have met, either online or in person could potentially engage in their kink with another person.

An email from a #ProudToBeKinky listener got me thinking about taboo kinks, and how taboo our kinks really are and whether or not that matters. As always I think there are lots of strands of thinking to this. First of all what is taboo in the non-kink world is very different to what is taboo in the kink community. When you don’t have any other kinksters to discuss these matters with, it can be easy to assume your kinks are uncommon and therefore will shock others when you open up about them.

If you type taboo fetishes into google the first entry offers up:

  • Mecaphilia – Fetish for mechanical objects
  • Tickling Fetish
  • Squashing – defined as having someone sit on you chest
  • Scat Play
  • Electrical Stimulation
  • Golden Showers – aka urophilia, watersports, piss play
  • Sex Parties
  • Balloon Fetish
  • Diaper Fetish
  • Furries

I have had personal interactions, by this I mean conversational exchanges, with people who have between them had all but one of those Fetishes. The only one I have never encountered personally is Mecaphilia. While I admit that discussing any of these kinks over dinner with family or over lunch with colleagues is going to raise more than a few eyebrows and will likely lead to the individual opening up being unfairly shamed for their interests, within the kink community the reaction would be a lot different.

Most reasonable and kind kinksters will apply the ‘your kink is not my kink but that’s okay’ line of thinking to most kinks they do not have a desire to engage in. The exception to this would be if your kink is likely to endanger you or someone else, violates another person consent or involves minors.

Am I Saying No Kink Is Taboo?

Definitely not. There are kinks and Fetishes that for understandable reasons will cause people to either wonder if your reasons for engaging in them are safe, sane and consensual or cause someone who is into them to question their own personal beliefs, morality and state of mind. Many taboo kinks have political or social overtones to them than cannot, and should not be overlooked. I think it is important to both accept and understand why more taboo and extreme kinks and Fetishes might be challenging for some people to hear about and/or witness.

There are certainly some kinks that I would advise people to conduct largely in private unless they were certain the company they were keeping would not feel at best uncomfortable and at worse triggered by being exposed to a kink or Fetish that may have negative connotations for them. Interests that I would say often come under this umbrella for many people include but are not limited to race play, rape play and incest play. Also anything that Fetishsizes and glorifies people or parties that are largely condemned as abhorrent.

Just to be clear I am not saying you should be ashamed of or hide even the more taboo kinks, and I’m certainly not saying you shouldn’t engage in the with a consenting adult. Being mindful and aware of other people’s feelings though is not the same as hiding away and being shamed.

When I opened this conversation on Twitter a follower kindly shared Ugol’s Law with me.

Ugol’s Law will tell you that for every time someone asks the question, “Am I the only one who likes this?” that the answer will always be no. The law stems from the idea that we have more in common as human beings than we might think. It also suggests that once you start looking for like-minded people, you will inevitably find someone who shares the same feelings, desires, and kink as you do. – From Kinkly.com

So whatever our kink we there will be another person with the same interest. Why then do we find ourselves feeling like we are alone in our desires and why does the question of something being taboo matter?

IMG_7285In a group chat with friends I posed this same question and one of them hit the nail on the head with why this comes up again and again. When you haven’t found like minded friends and/or a like minded partner, you may as well be the only person with your kink. With a world population of 7 billion people the chances of you just bumping into a person with your kink at the local pub or at a work event are pretty slim.

Even when you reach the kink community there are definitely those kinks that feel common place, and it seems like everyone is doing them. BDSM, in its full form of Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission and Sadism and masochism, is often used as a blanket term for kink. However it’s quite possible to have a kink or Fetish you are really passionate about and not identify with any of the branches of BDSM. In that scenario I can see how opening up about your specific kink can feel scary even to fellow kinksters.

What is The Solution?

Find a community. This doesn’t mean you have to go to your local munch. Even though I do think this is a great way to actually meet like minded people and increase your chances of meeting someone who will engage in your kink with you. Online communities are also a totally valid way of connecting with people and for the more taboo kinks I think this can be a really good way to feel less isolated.

Also reaching out to people who seem open minded and friendly can often be a great way to share your kinks and be reassured that they’re not as outlandish as you might think. It might even be that they can recommend resources and/or folks with similar interests, even if they are not into it themselves.

Being prepared to start small can often be make or break in whether or not you get to live out your kink not only to its fullest but at all. When you have never considered a kink before being asked to take it to its most extreme is likely to fill most people with a variety of feelings, many of them will make the prospect of trying whatever it is quite daunting. Even those new to spanking, which is am extremely popular kink, are really nervous to give it a try, so being asked to cane someone until they before you’ve tried spanking is going to feel terrifying to most people.

Having some kink is better than having no kink in most situations. If your deepest desire is full on forced feminization, with wig, makeup and a full Latex sissy maid dress, but your partner is wary and wants to start out with lace panties and stockings, then go with that. People take time to find their own comfort zones, especially when it isn’t their specific kink they are exploring. Many kinks crossover though and we can find enjoyment through embracing our own kinks while indulging other people in theirs.

While acknowledging your kink and starting to explore it can often feel isolating and daunting, there is every chance that you are not alone and that you can and will find someone to engage in it with you. Patience, mindfulness and being proactive in a community with definitely help your chances though. If you have found this because you have you own kink or Fetish that you are uncertain about or feel alone with, please feel free to use the contact form to get in touch.

 The interaction between myself and my readers is what truly keeps my blog going, your likes and comments always make me smile, if however you would like to support what I do in other ways you can follow the link below to buy me a coffee.

Buy Floss a coffeeBuy Floss a coffee

Ten Songs That Give Me Sexy Feels

When Bakji and I get our kink on we don’t always play to music, but when we do I love the vibe the songs I enjoy add to the atmosphere. I know a lot of people don’t enjoy playing alongside music at all, but I’m always intrigued to see what songs make the list for those of us that do. 

Get ready to feel sexy, because these are my top 10 songs (in no particular order) that get my sexy motor running. I’m going to give you 5 that get me feeling dirty, mean and extremely FemDom and 5 that slow me down, and give way to the softer feels that our D/s exchanges give me.

Sick Like Me by In This Moment

Is it sick of me
To need control of you?
Is it sick to make
You beg the way I do?

I love this song so much. It is my FemDom anthem. When I put this song on I can feel my internal FemDom pulling on her gloves and heels and getting ready for action. It is so sexy to play to as well. Just to clarify I don’t think I am ‘sick’ for being into the things I am, but if it legitimately was a sickness I would not want the cure. Other In This Moment songs on my list are Adrenalize and Whore.

Perfect Drug – Nine Inch Nails

I got my head but my head is unraveling
Can’t keep control can’t keep track of where it’s traveling
I got my heart but my heart’s no good
You’re the only one that’s understood

Not only is this song super sexy and perfect for kinky play times, there is a Fetish porn video out there with this song as it’s accompaniment. It is beyond hot. This song gives me so many sexy images in my head.  Other NIN songs on my list are Closer and Ringfinger.

Personal Jesus – Marilyn Manson

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares

Something about Marilyn Manson’s music seems to ooze eroticism for me. Esepcially when he takes a decent song and makes it so much darker and better. Personal Jesus, You’re So Vain and Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) all feature on my sexy tunes playlist.  

Pony – Ginuwine

The things I will do to you
You and your body
Every single portion
Send chills up and down your spine
Juices flowing down your thigh

I am not going to lie … I love the Magic Mike films, Channing Tatum is fucking dreamy as they come, and watching him gyrate his hips and flex his muscles gives me literal tingles in the foo area. The soundtrack to Magic Mike XXL is awesome and this is one of my favourites. For anyone who finds the objectification of male strippers or the male form offensive, you probably shouldn’t watch the video below!

Lie – Black Light Burns

These animals, they operate
On jealousy and lust
I’m taking back what was lost
And I will not be denied

Not only do I enjoy the sexiness of this song, but also the video too. Not only is it musically sexy but it has certain words in there that trigger my kinky feels when used in the right context. I’m a big fan of the whole album this song comes off and another particular favourite is Cruel Melody which also features during sexy times.

Bruises – Lewis Capaldi

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side

Fair warning this song isn’t really sexy, or kinky, it’s about breaking up and missing something you had with someone. When I hear the word bruises sang so beautifully though I just go to a place of the feels.

Fall at your Feet  – Boy and Bear

And whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears rain down on me
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain

I think most people know the original of this by Crowded House. While I love that version, there is something about the Boy and Bear cover that just puts a totally different spin on it for me. From beginning everything about this song just screams D/s dynamic to me. Not just from a kink perspective either, this song always makes me think about the intimacy of D/s and how it has helped me build a connection with Bakji in a way I never have with anyone else.

Wicked Game – Stone Sour

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you

I have always been a huge fan of this song, and the Chris Isaak original is glorious. There are so many covers of this song, many of which are really decent versions of it. There is something about the Stone Sour version though that just makes my heart ache. I think it’s the rougher, rockier edge to it. It’s less of a ballad and more, ‘fuck, that was a wicked game’.

Never Be The Same – Camilla Cabello

Just one hit of you, I knew I’ll never be the same
It’s you, babe
And I’m a sucker for the way that you move, babe

I’ve often said that FemDom gives me a high that is quite honestly addictive, and when I’m in full FemDom headspace it feels like something very palpable is running through my veins. This song reminds me of that feeling.

Starving – Hailee Steinfeld

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you
Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo
By the way, by the way, you do things to my body
I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

I had no idea, none at all, that I would take to FemDom with such a fierce and passionate appreciation for everything it entails. It wasn’t until I tried it with Bakji that I finally found my feet with it, and once I did, there was no stopping me. Also there is fishnet sexiness in the video, so I’m definitely putting this in the FemDom feels pile. 

Those are some of my favourites but what are yours. I’d love to hear what your favourite sexy songs are, whether that’s for kink, sex or getting a romantic vibe on the go.