Tag: Erotic Humiliation

The Cone of Shame is Fun with Friends

For last weeks Wicked Wednesday I wrote a piece of erotica, ‘Cool Shower- Part 2‘ that contained humiliation as its main theme and a little while back I wrote ‘(Super Sexy) Thoughts on Erotic Humiliation’, and recently it is a kink that I have been thinking about more and more and I would really love to share some of my developing thoughts with you all.

It is no secret to anyone who has read my blog posts on non-monogamy that it has been a work in progress sorting through my feelings on it. One of the feelings I struggled with the most was that ‘bleurgh’ feeling in the pit of my stomach when I tried to visualise Bakji with another lady. I honestly thought this was one of those things I had to just put up with if I wanted to be non-monogamous.

Continue reading “The Cone of Shame is Fun with Friends”

Erotica – Cool Shower – Part 2

A follow on from last weeks Wicked Wednesday piece Cool Shower.

Content Warning: Humiliation and degradation.


‘So … Together or apart?

‘Apart. They’ve enjoyed each other too much today. Time to separate them.’

At our attempts to get on with showering and preparing for lunch, their hands rose into a stop motion and the words ‘don’t you dare move’ were uttered. We both sat motionless on the bed, as the atmosphere in the room shifted.

‘Which one do you want?’

‘Well mine needs a shower, she’s filthy and needs some punishment for fucking yours. So you take her.’

Continue reading “Erotica – Cool Shower – Part 2”

(Super Sexy) Thoughts on Erotic Humiliation

Yesterday I published the blog post that accompanied Episode 55 of #ProudToBeKinky in which myself and Bakji spoke to Princess Kali about eroti humiliation. For anyone read the blog post I reference how her book, Enough To Make You Blush, was one of my earliest and favourite resources when I was starting out in my FemDom journey. Having heard Princess Kali on Masocast, I was intrigued by the idea that humiliation play perhaps wasn’t what I thought it was, and decided I would read the book to find out more. What I found out was that the idea of erotic humiliation was really intriguing.

As I said in the podcast blog, humiliation seems to be one of the kinks that gets a lot of people saying ‘oh no, I’m not into that’, when I think in reality a lot of us play with it without even knowing that is what we are doing. The spectrum of humiliation play is vast, and there are so many ways to play with it and not all of them involve stereotype phrases like ‘you’re a pathetic, snivelling, dirty little worm’, although I have used the word pathetic once or twice, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all, if your partner is receptive to it.

There are lots of discussion groups on Fetlife surrounding humiliation, some of which are filled with awesome ideas, and Enough To Make You Blush also contains a lot of hints and scenes that could get you started. As with every kink though we are all different, and what humiliates one person will have no effect on another. Which means that this might be a bit of a long game kink, it might take some time to dig around in your partner’s mind a little to discover what it is that makes them tick.

I am definitely more into verbal erotic humiliation, though I definitely have more physical aspects of humiliation play that I’d like to explore. The kinds of verbal play we engage in are along the lines of embarrassment, teasing and name calling. As I said on the podcast for those who listened, Bakji has no shame, he is a proud and glorious pervert, so I have my work cut out for me when it comes to finding the right words to bring a blush to his cheeks. Unless it’s his bum cheeks in which case a few good spanks causes a beautiful rosy glow.

What I have discovered though is tone and context are everything. Calling your partner simple because they bought the wrong beans at the supermarket, not nice. Calling them simple because they are all sub-spacey and can’t use their words properly, super sexy. Pointing out they can’t use their words properly, and trying to get them to speak, even sexier. Continuing this until they’re completely incoherent and then highlighting how they’re not longer even a proper person but just a support system for a cock, insanely sexy.

Those kinds of things are only fun for me though because Bakji reacts well to them. It is not fun for me to make some cry because I’ve said something triggering and they are tears of genuine upset. It is however fun to make someone cry because they are desperate to come, extremely frustrated and mildly concerned that you’re going to drive them insane with your sexy FemDom sorcery. I haven’t actually made Bakji cry yet, but I will, and when I do it will be glorious, and I will laugh, and he will adore me for it.

This is probably a slightly terrifying insight into my mind for anyone who doesn’t find this kind of stuff fun, but I never knew how freeing and exciting this kind of play would be until I tried it. When `I’m not embracing my monstrous FemDom ego, I’m lovely. I’m very nurturing and kind, I don’t say mean things and I don’t laugh at other people’s misfortune. Which means it is rather liberating to go against the grain and embrace my inner bitch. Now of course this isn’t to say that everyone into FemDom feels this way, kinky Domination isn’t one size fits all and this is just my take on things.

Now if anyone is worrying for Bakji’s safety or his emotional well-being, especially if you’re new and this is the first post you’re reading. We are in a consensual kinky relationship, we’ve had many, many exchanges about what we are happy to engage in, what our limits are and what we are really, really into. Which means I know that I can tie him up and laugh at his sexy frustration and I can be certain he will find it equally sexy that I can enjoy myself so much by teasing him.

I also know where to draw the line. When our scene ends, words are of affection and affirmation. It is beyond important for Bakji to know that the things said during play, are part of our play and not part of our non-kink time together. I don’t randomly name call over dinner, or declare that I am everything and he is nothing when we’re discussing ideas for the podcast. I say lovely things like ‘I fancy you’ and ‘you’re pretty’, and that affords me the opportunity to verbally berate him and tease him mercilessly when we are doing kinky things together.

One of the common things that come up on forums about BDSM, or even about sex, is not knowing what to say. Whether that’s for humiliation play or for sexy talk. I would have said the exact same thing, I also would have said that the idea of speaking during intimate moments was a no go for me. When I started Topping Bakji though I noticed that I started doing this completely naturally. Often all I will do is point out how hard he is, or how badly he wants to kiss me and just the very act of pointing out his very obvious desire and arousal is enough to get the erotic humiliation ball rolling. For anyone who thinks this seems really low level kink and doubts it’s effectiveness I urge you to give it a go, with consent of course.

This all might sound a little bit stereotypical Dominatrix, and I think that probably stops a lot of people testing the waters with humiliation play, but I think it’s worth noting that I do all this with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. Even when you reach the realms of extreme humiliation and degradation, you can still embrace an element of fun when doing it and one would hope that you’re doing it to share an awesome and kinky experience with your bottom, and if that isn’t something to smile about then I don’t know what is.

As with everything I chat about on this blog, I’m no expert, and there is much to be discussed beyond my own personal experience. If humiliation is something you’re curious about though and have been nervous to try, or cautious to discuss with a partner, then this is me saying it’s okay to start small and it’s okay to not know where to being but to still want to try.

The interaction between myself and my readers is what truly keeps my blog going, your likes and comments always make me smile, if however you would like to support what I do in other ways you can follow the link below to buy me a coffee.

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Episode 55 – Humiliaton with Princess Kali

You can find out more about the podcast here, and you can listen on most available podcast apps and via our Libsyn Page.


Princess Kali is our guest for this episode and we could not have been more excited to speak to her. Her book Enough To Make You Blush was one of Floss’ early and favourite resources when she was beginning her journey into FemDom. Getting to talk to people whose work we genuinely enjoy is one of the awesome bonuses of doing the podcast.

 

Princess Kali has been on many podcasts discussing not only her book, but also sharing her approach to Domination and her work with Kink Academy. Which is another great resource for kink education. This however did mean that thinking up new and interesting questions for her was a tricky task. That said though we are really excited to bring you this episode and feel like we’ve got some great information to share with you.

Humiliation can sometimes be a kink that many people will respond to with ‘Oh yeah, I’m not into that’, with a little bit of exploration though there can often be many fun and erotic entry points for us to explore the vast variety of erotic humiliation. From mild embarrassment to hardcore degradation.

While we had Princess Kali with us we tried to get you the best information we could on why people might engage in erotic humiliation and what potential elements of it you might find pleasure in, whether that is as a Top or as a bottom. We also discuss how to get the conversation started if you feel like you’d like to explore erotic humiliation but have no idea where to begin.

If you would like to find out more about Princess Kali and Enough To Make You Blush you can do so by using the following links:

enoughtomakeyoublush.com

twitter.com/Princess_Kali

instagram.com/enoughtomakeyoublush

kinkacademy.com

As always if you have any feedback on this episode you can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky.com or you can reach out using any of our social media platforms:

twitter.com/proudtobekinky

instagram.com/proudtobekinky

facebook.com/proudtobekinky

fetlife.com/proudtobekinky

patreon.com/proudtobekinky

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps and if you listen on a platform that allows reviews then please do leave a wonderful 5 star review.

Figuring Out You Tasks and Rituals

N.B: This blog post was inspired an email from the Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s. If you haven’t listened to their podcast yet please do so, you can also check out the website for great resources and links on how to listen or follow on social media.


This will be a short one, and also a request for ideas.

As anyone who has been reading along with these 30 Days of D/s posts or anyone who has read a variety of my posts on my blog will know, myself and Bakji don’t a formal D/s arrangement as such. It’s an in scene only, switchy dynamic. However for a little while now that switch dynamic has been flicked to FemDom.

Our scenes have a fair bit of variety to them. Sometimes I’m a sensual and loving Top and other times I’m power hungry, sadistic and aching to whisper humiliating things in Bakji’s ear. I enjoy both immensely, but neither of these come with tasks and rituals.

I’d imagine that tasks and rituals come into play for those people who have a more day-to-day D/s dynamic, but dammit, I want in. I want to find some sexy tasks and rituals we can incorporate into our scenes.

For the longest time I’ve wanted to think up a sexy mantra that Bakji can recite, and Honorifics have been on the list for a while too. I think with these I just need to get the ball rolling with them so that they become a natural part of our scenes.

We are about to take the plunge with chastity, not long-term, just in scene only. For now. *insert evil laugh here* I am ever hopeful that Bakji will love it so much we might be able to do it for at least a few days at a time! So I expect this might highlight some opportunities to tighten the rules a little bit.

Some of the other things we enjoy are body worship (especially bum and feet), humiliation (at the milder end but it’s still very sexy), edging, facesitting and restraint. More gets included too, but those are the main ones.

So my question to anyone reading, what are some of you favourite tasks and rituals? Especially if they involve any of the things I mentioned above. Even if they don’t though I’d still love to hear them.

I need inspiration folks, so please feel free to share any ideas you might have.