Tag: Blogs

#SoSS – Therapy, Fucking and … More Fucking!

IMG_6992Monday brought me my first, ‘well that’s a #SoSS post’ moment when I read The Therapist by Karin at theswingshift. This week saw me starting to share some of my experiences with mental health, part of which details how I never quite succeeded in sticking with therapy. That isn’t because I don’t value it though, I absolutely do, especially when as Kinksters we find an understanding and supportive therapist. I don’t know Karin personally, only through the post I’ve read on her blog, that didn’t stop me thoroughly touched though at her thoughts on finding and visiting a therapist.

I’ve had an interesting week. I’ve been delving into the parts of my brain I don’t tend to visit very often and when I read Sometimes I need the Rough Stuff by Sassy Cat, I absolutely got it. Unfortunately weather and other commitments meant Bakji and I didn’t get any sexy times this week, but oooh boy was this a week for needing the rough stuff. For me it’s more about feeling something ‘bigger’ and ‘deeper’ than what I’m feeling in my head. Rough sex or kink that hurts so good, or words that sound harsh to the unknowing ear but sooth my brain niggles like a lullaby. I love that stuff, but as Cat says in her post, ‘only when I know they don’t truly mean what they say in the heat of the moment’.

Escape on the High Seas by Livvy Libertine is a following on piece from her previousIMG_6997 post A Valuable Treasure. I won’t lie I didn’t read them in order though, I normally would have but I got so caught up in the story I just couldn’t stop. I feel like I’ve read part of a book and don’t have the rest of the pages to quench my thirst for the rest of the tale. I am hoping that Livvy gives us more of this tale, because I really want to know more.

As I said I’ve been feeling the urge for the rougher side of sex and kink this week. For me that also includes dirty words and forthright descriptions of sexual activities. Such a Dirty Bitch Deserves a Whipping by May More delivered on both counts. I got to the end and all I could think was 1) that dress does look delightful, 2) I’m a dirty bitch and 3) Goddammit where’s my whipping!

My last offering for this weeks #SoSS is That Time in the Car Park by PixieHeart. It is an all over sexy tale, and it definitely got me hot under the collar and feeling frisky. However, there was one sentence alone that made it worthy of being included in this roundup.

He takes hold of my hand and for a minute I thought I was safe, that my punishment was over

Now I don’t know PixieHeart’s Husband a.k.a The Boss Man. However, the Sadistic Dominant in me laughed hard when I read this. That sexy evil laughter though, that tends to get masochists and submissives giddy with that nervous sexual energy. ‘For a IMG_6998minute I thought I was safe’, what a delightful way to make someone feel, right before you prove them wrong. Loved this Pixie. Absolutely loved it.

That is your lot from me this week. I hope you give all these posts a read and more that will be shared through #SoSS over on Twitter. I have seen plenty of sex bloggers commenting on how they have been shadow-banned this week, so this is definitely something we need to keep ploughing away at so that all these wonderful posts don’t go unnoticed.

Smut Marathon: Round 2 Is Upon Us

As the voting ended for the first round of Smut Marathon and the results were revealed, I don’t think I was alone in having the following thoughts: 1. How have I done?, 2. What feedback will I get? And 3. What is the next assignment going to be? You can read my thoughts on points one and two in Smut Marathon Round 1: The Votes Are In. This post will cover my thoughts so far on point three and the assignment we have now received.

Once again as per the rules I can’t share with you what the assignment is. I can tell you though that when I open the email containing our instructions I was genuinely excited. I think it is a great assignment. It is one that my brain feels ready to attack due to some previous writing tasks I have engaged in. If the last round taught me anything though it’s that being prepared and feeling proud of your entry doesn’t actually mean you will do well. I’m also pleased with the creativity it allows for. While still challenging us to hone skills that we may not have perfected, or even to gain skills we don’t yet have.

IMG_6834.JPGOne of the things I am doing differently in this round is having more options to choose from. With the last entry I came up with two ideas, but couldn’t shake the idea that my initial metaphor was the one to go for. Hindsight as they say is a wonderful thing, and I wish I’d plunged into the depths of my mind for some more ideas, and been less precious about the metaphor I loved most because it made me feel something.

My second idea from the first round is below for those people who might like to see what else I came up with for the last assignment. Which I now know would probably have garnered the same feedback. I really do love a comma! I didn’t really give it the attention it needed though to come to anything more substantial. Which means that in this round more ideas will be jotted down and given a chance to be developed into something wonderful.

Kiss, click, I come undone, my body unfurls, with need, in peace, submission granted, I am home, at your feet, your passion released me, you are my love, my key.

In terms of the feedback I received and the feedback I took on from other peoples pieces, there are a few things I will be working on this time round. Punctuation, watch out commas I’m coming for you. Sentence structure and structure of the piece overall. I’m also going to be more aware of including useless words and be cautious with trying to over explain things. I think I need to be a little more subtle sometimes and let my readers draw up their own imagery, instead of directing how I’d like them to see the piece.

I know some people have been left questioning themselves and their decision to enter the Smut Marathon since the results and feedback from round 1 were revealed. I hope that every one of the 75 entrants who submitted to the first round do so for the second round too. Each round is so different from the other, and I suspect from future rounds too, that you just never know what you might learn or how you might grow by giving it a try.

I understand being wary of receiving the feedback and having your confidence shaken. IMG_6833Especially if you mainly write to share your personal experiences, it can be hard to suddenly be hit with critiques of how your writing isn’t quite on point. Many of us suffer with imposter syndrome from time to time and I think Smut Marathon may trigger that in many people. Remember you are not alone though. We are all sat at our computers, or on our phones during a commute, wondering what on earth we are going to write. Even those of us who have come up with something, are going to be wondering if what we’ve written is good enough to submit.

Our deadline for this assignment is March 3rd and voting for the second round opens March 4th. I hope we will have even more people reading and voting in this round, and I get a feeling that we will all be doing our best to leave more feedback than we did in the previous round.

#SoSS – Shared Joy is Double Joy

I follow lots of blogs, but I have never managed to keep track of any of that, for that I apologise, especially if I’m missing out on wonderful posts. It’s part of the reason I enjoy social media, because I get pointed in the direction of good things by those I follow. Another way I enjoy finding good reads is writing memes like Masturbation Monday, Wicked Wednesday and Kink of the Week.

Masturbation-Monday-badge-1Masturbation Monday led me to two of the things I’d like to share with you this week. The first being Teachers Pet by Hey Mrs. Robinson. When I started reading it my initial reaction was ‘ooh this is naughty, naughty’. I merrily read along, absolutely thinking I had this story banged to rights. Then I got to the end and realised I absolutely didn’t, and that made me enjoy it even more.

The second piece of Masturbation Monday fiction I enjoyed was The Shoemaker by Cousin Pons. This appealed to me for two reasons. One, it was super sexy and two, it involved feet. I never imagined I’d be someone who was into anything to do with feet. Here I am though, someone who enjoys foot worship and the giving of sexual pleasures by way of my feet. When I read The Shoemaker, I could imagine all the things that were described and they absolutely ticked all the boxes for me.

Now is the time for me to mention my current obsession, the Smut Marathon. We now have a page were we can link our posts we write with reference to the Smut Marathon, and this week that includes Smut Marathon Round 1: On Comfort Zones and Other Stories. Joining the Smut Marathon myself was a huge leap out of my own comfort zone, so I related to an a lot of what was said in this piece. I think sharing our experience of the Smut Marathon is great way to encourage people to perhaps consider participating next year, even if it doesn’t feel like the comfortable thing for you to do.

A long time favourite blog of mine is Poly.Land, which regular readers and podcast listeners will know. This week I read ‘There’s Something Magical About That Person Who Raises Your Standards’ and my brain was giving all the thumbs up as I read it. When I my Bakji my standards weren’t great, in many aspects of life, a low opinion of myself had allowed me to lower them to unforgivable levels. This isn’t the white knight story though, I wasn’t a damsel in distress and I didn’t need saving. What I need was a healthy dose of reality and a better vision of myself both of which Bakji helped me to find. I think the quote below from Page’s article sums it up perfectly.

‘There’s something magical about that person who not only meets your needs but also raises your standards. Who turns you into a bit of a love snob. Who can throw away the storybook notions you had of romance at nine years old and replace them with something that’s somehow both more realistic and better.’ -Page Turner, Poly.Land

My last post for this week is Fantasies of Being Gangbanged by Isabelle Lauren. I wanted to share this one because I spend a lot of my time, both as a blogger and a podcaster encouraging people to turn their kinky desires and fantasies into reality. I enjoyed this blog post for presenting the joy of indulging in fantasies that you know will never be reality, nor would you wish for them to be. I have some of those myself, some of them are impossible to achieve, the video below highlights this with the themes of vampires, fear and being buried in the dirt! Others involve a level of brutality and danger that I just couldn’t risk. It doesn’t mean the idea of them isn’t arousing though, and very much enjoy my alone time with nothing but my imagination and my vibrator for company. 

You find more #SoSS posts by checking out the hashtag on Twitter. It is a great way for us to support and share the writings that many social media platforms see fit to silence. Which is reason enough to get involved by liking, sharing and shouting about the posts you love.

#SoSS – Share Our Shit Saturday (on Sunday)

I’ve been following and re-tweeting #SoSS (Share our Shit Saturday) for a little while now, but this is the first time I’ve joined in with my own post. If you would like to know more about the movement amongst bloggers then please read the awesome post by ErosBlog for the lowdown.

As much as I love supporting and championing other bloggers, especially those that writeIMG_6383 about kink, sex and other things much of the world still deems inappropriate for grown adults to discuss online, I am often terrible as getting round to reading as many posts as I’d like to. However with my recent decision to get involved in the Smut Marathon, I’ve found myself carving out more time to visit other writers and I want to share some of the posts I’ve read this week.

First up is Disclosure from Karin at theswingshift.co.uk. I loved this piece about finding a home in kink and often having to keep that secret from the world around us. When what we actually want to do is scream from the rooftops how happy we are to finally have that sense of belonging. It is a scenario that many of us can identify with. Even people like myself who are fairly open with their lifestyle, still have these moments.

Karin also wrote Kinky Mother, which I absolutely adored. As I am writing this round up I am also sat on the sofa with my 6 year old, taking it turns playing a pool game on his tablet. I don’t write about being a Mum very often though, but I love it when other people do. This post absolutely captures what it is to be a Kinky Mother.

I’m A Primal Here’s What It Means To Me is a post written by Charlton C. Tod who I recently discovered through him being a fellow Smut Marathon entrant. His recent post about what being a primal means to him was definitely informative for anyone who might being wondering what primal is, or whether it might be for them. I’ve always thought I had a bit of a Primal/prey side to my sexual nature, and Charlton’s post did wonders for confirming this.

My last post for my first #SoSS is Endless Possibilities – Being Part of an Open Poly Family from the wonderful Pixie Heart. I love Pixie’s blog, it is honest and open and gives people an insight into a family dynamic that many people would be baffled by through sheer lack of information. I think it’s so valuable to have people like Pixie opening up about her home life. It is posts like this that will hopefully help educate people about being polyamorous and/or non-monogamous.


There’s a chance you are already fed up of me mentioning the Smut Marathon, but the voting is now open for the first round. You can read all the wonderful metaphors we have written and place your vote for your top three. It has already proved a huge challenge for many of us, so your support means so much to us all.

Episode 51 – Sex Toys with Aurora Glory

Aurora Glory joins us for this episode. Yes that is right, we have a guest with us again. We were delighted to have the chance to chat to Aurora, about everything from sex toys, to lube and of course blogging.

We start off this episode with a very important question. That you won’t want to miss. A long and earth shattering debate is finally put to rest. Want to know more, then you will have to listen in. Once that is cleared up though we move onto the juicy stuff .. sex toys. We ask Aurora how she got started with reviewing sex toys, and how that led to her starting a blog.

Floss has got her own fair share of sex toys nestled away in the bedroom, and wondered if she was alone in her favourite not being the high-quality toys people usually mentions a favourites. Turns out she is alone in this. Aurora’s favourite toy is definitely one of the higher quality and well recommended toys. One that Floss doesn’t have but is keen to get.

While we all know sex toys are more popular than ever, and rightly so. There do seem to be some other things that still aren’t the norm to use when it comes to masturbating and for sexual encounters with a partner, and one of those things is lube. We talk to Aurora about what it is she loves about reviewing lube, and discuss why it is that so many people still aren’t regular users.

The day before we spoke to Aurora her blog turned one! So we obviously couldn’t let the conversation pass without having a chat about her blog too. We discussed what inspired her to start a blog, whether or not it has been what she imagined and what her plans for the future of her blog are. We also ask what her top tips would be for anyone out there who is looking to start a blog.

You can find Aurora in the following places:

You can of course find us in those same places to, our website is also now up and running so you can go to www.proudtobekinky.com and read our blog posts there as well as in our show notes. To find us on other social media platforms simply search for proudtobekinky, all one word, no spaces. However if you would like to find us on Patreon, you will need to click on the following link, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, Due to us being an NSFW account you cannot search for our content.

As regular listeners will know we are part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with our friends from Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps, and only two of us are kink related shows, so if your interests vary do check the other shows out too.

Do We Build Our Friends Up, Or Tear Them Down?

When we spoke to Page from Poly.Land a few weeks back, she discussed how since being polyamorous and developing her ability to enjoy compersive feelings, this had not only occurred with romantic relationships but also with friends. That conversation has been rattling around my brain lately, as I pondered the question; Do we build our friends up or do we tear them down?

I think everyone’s instant reaction would be ‘of course I don’t tear my friends down’, probably with a certain level of outrage for it even being suggested. Which I get, I don’t want to think I ever do that either. However, do we always support people as fully as we can, especially if their endeavours may outshine our own?

IMG_3443At the weekend myself and Bakji went to our local peer rope group. So many of our friends were doing awesome rope, suspending partners, suspending friends and even suspending themselves. Me? I was rolling around on the floor with Bakji randomly tying rope in any old fashion and generally having a giggle with it (see picture for the resulting randomness of tying one human to another). No part of me felt crap about that though, in fact I got all the happy feels seeing them all do so well. Sure I could have sat there and somehow made it their fault that I haven’t learned as much rope as them, but quite frankly that’s the dumbest thing ever. Yet some people still go down that road.

We also have friends who run small businesses, write blogs, record podcasts and run fetish events. Promoting #ProudToBeKinky takes up a huge amount of my time, but where I can I promote and support my friends endeavours too. I do this because I believe in my friends, and I want them to succeed. I don’t sit there coming up with dastardly plans on how to outdo them, or how to muscle in on their success. I guarantee someone is sat reading this thinking ‘who would do that?’, people, that’s who. Sometimes I wonder if they realise they’re doing it.

I have come to realise though that not everyone is like this. Some people seem to actively hope others will fail, or that some kind of unpleasant situation will befall them. Just in case that person’s success overshadows their own, or maybe out of envy that their own situation isn’t where they want it to be. I’ve seen people keep resources to themselves to hinder other people’s learning and I’ve witnessed people downplay other people’s good news, even when they’re the smallest of wins.

I’ve been on the receiving end of these things too, and I’ve sat there thinking to myself, ‘do they know their comment comes of as, ‘oh that, that’s nothing’’. Even though I delivered the news with a bouncy excitement, so clearly to me it was something. I’ve also had people think it’s their place to pass negative comments or twisted observations on my relationship, be it a past or a present one. In a moment when I wasn’t asking for input. So I’m basically sat there going ‘what the fuck?, why would you say that?’

I’m not saying I’m perfect, I’m not. I do get that feeling when someone I’m less than fond of is doing something I want to do, or even doing something I’m not but their a roaring success at whatever it is. It’s that ‘urgh why them’, type thought. But you know what, I always check myself, before I wreck myself. Before you ask, yes, I am totally cool enough to use that phrase. The reason I don’t dwell on those thoughts and let them manifest is why shouldn’t someone else have good things, just because we maybe had a falling out, or we don’t get along for other reasons. That’s no reason for me to wish them anything but good luck in life. Also I think holding onto that level of negativity settles inside you and ends up poisoning your own life.

When people let those ‘why them’ type thoughts not only take root, but allow it against their own friends, I find that somewhat baffling. Failing at something, or having a bad experience can have really horrid long terms effects for some people. Not everyone is good at bouncing back. For creative endeavours especially it can be really disheartening if you think no one is interested in what you’re putting out there. That’s why I’m always so grateful to those people who stop by my blog and read my thoughts, and to those who press the like button or leave a comments, that’s even more awesome. To know you’re not speaking to the void is a lovely feeling.

I find I end up distancing myself from those people who constantly seem to have negative things to say about their friends, I’m always left wondering ‘what on earth to they say about me when I’m not here?’ Are they hoping my endeavours will fail too? Or that my relationship will crumble? I work damn hard on all those things, so the fact that anyone could be hoping for their demise is really quite annoying. Especially as I would never do them the same disservice.

Through the podcast and also this blog, the list of people I’m willing to champion has grown. We’ve connected with so many awesome people, and they’ve all got their own voice and their own messages to share, and in some cases products to sell. So here is my big list of friends, who I either know in real life or have made an online connection with and the their endeavours. Please do give them a little visit and see what you think.

Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast -Podcast

Parking Lot Radio – Podcast

Will Sean Podcast – Podcast

Drinks With God – Podcast

Take Back Your Sex – Podcast & Blog

Black People Kink – Podcast

Loving BDSM – Podcast

SlapStick Club – London’s Most Puckish Fetish Club

Master M Hatter – Books, MMH Jute Rope & Rope jewellery, Shibari Tutorial

Cheshire Cat – Diary of a slave Blog

Nicholas Tanek – Great books about kink, life and love

Page Turner and Poly.Land – Blog and Book about Polyamory

Nookie Notes Books, Facebook group, Dating site, you name it Nookie has it going on

Kitten Treasures – for all your furry ear and tail needs, plus much more

CollaredMichael – Journey into Male Chastity