Monday brought me my first, ‘well that’s a #SoSS post’ moment when I read The Therapist by Karin at theswingshift. This week saw me starting to share some of my experiences with mental health, part of which details how I never quite succeeded in sticking with therapy. That isn’t because I don’t value it though, I absolutely do, especially when as Kinksters we find an understanding and supportive therapist. I don’t know Karin personally, only through the post I’ve read on her blog, that didn’t stop me thoroughly touched though at her thoughts on finding and visiting a therapist.
As the voting ended for the first round of Smut Marathon and the results were revealed, I don’t think I was alone in having the following thoughts: 1. How have I done?, 2. What feedback will I get? And 3. What is the next assignment going to be? You can read my thoughts on points one and two in Smut Marathon Round 1: The Votes Are In. This post will cover my thoughts so far on point three and the assignment we have now received.
Once again as per the rules I can’t share with you what the assignment is. I can tell you though that when I open the email containing our instructions I was genuinely excited. I think it is a great assignment. It is one that my brain feels ready to attack due to some previous writing tasks I have engaged in. If the last round taught me anything though it’s that being prepared and feeling proud of your entry doesn’t actually mean you will do well. I’m also pleased with the creativity it allows for. While still challenging us to hone skills that we may not have perfected, or even to gain skills we don’t yet have.
I follow lots of blogs, but I have never managed to keep track of any of that, for that I apologise, especially if I’m missing out on wonderful posts. It’s part of the reason I enjoy social media, because I get pointed in the direction of good things by those I follow. Another way I enjoy finding good reads is writing memes like Masturbation Monday, Wicked Wednesday and Kink of the Week.
I’ve been following and re-tweeting #SoSS (Share our Shit Saturday) for a little while now, but this is the first time I’ve joined in with my own post. If you would like to know more about the movement amongst bloggers then please read the awesome post by ErosBlog for the lowdown.
As much as I love supporting and championing other bloggers, especially those that write about kink, sex and other things much of the world still deems inappropriate for grown adults to discuss online, I am often terrible as getting round to reading as many posts as I’d like to. However with my recent decision to get involved in the Smut Marathon, I’ve found myself carving out more time to visit other writers and I want to share some of the posts I’ve read this week.
Aurora Glory joins us for this episode. Yes that is right, we have a guest with us again. We were delighted to have the chance to chat to Aurora, about everything from sex toys, to lube and of course blogging.
We start off this episode with a very important question. That you won’t want to miss. A long and earth shattering debate is finally put to rest. Want to know more, then you will have to listen in. Once that is cleared up though we move onto the juicy stuff .. sex toys. We ask Aurora how she got started with reviewing sex toys, and how that led to her starting a blog.
Floss has got her own fair share of sex toys nestled away in the bedroom, and wondered if she was alone in her favourite not being the high-quality toys people usually mentions a favourites. Turns out she is alone in this. Aurora’s favourite toy is definitely one of the higher quality and well recommended toys. One that Floss doesn’t have but is keen to get.
While we all know sex toys are more popular than ever, and rightly so. There do seem to be some other things that still aren’t the norm to use when it comes to masturbating and for sexual encounters with a partner, and one of those things is lube. We talk to Aurora about what it is she loves about reviewing lube, and discuss why it is that so many people still aren’t regular users.
The day before we spoke to Aurora her blog turned one! So we obviously couldn’t let the conversation pass without having a chat about her blog too. We discussed what inspired her to start a blog, whether or not it has been what she imagined and what her plans for the future of her blog are. We also ask what her top tips would be for anyone out there who is looking to start a blog.
You can find Aurora in the following places:
- Blog – byauroraglory.com/
- Instagram – instagram.com/auroragloryblog/
- Twitter – twitter.com/AuroraGloryBlog
You can of course find us in those same places to, our website is also now up and running so you can go to www.proudtobekinky.com and read our blog posts there as well as in our show notes. To find us on other social media platforms simply search for proudtobekinky, all one word, no spaces. However if you would like to find us on Patreon, you will need to click on the following link, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, Due to us being an NSFW account you cannot search for our content.
As regular listeners will know we are part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with our friends from Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps, and only two of us are kink related shows, so if your interests vary do check the other shows out too.
When we spoke to Page from Poly.Land a few weeks back, she discussed how since being polyamorous and developing her ability to enjoy compersive feelings, this had not only occurred with romantic relationships but also with friends. That conversation has been rattling around my brain lately, as I pondered the question; Do we build our friends up or do we tear them down?
I think everyone’s instant reaction would be ‘of course I don’t tear my friends down’, probably with a certain level of outrage for it even being suggested. Which I get, I don’t want to think I ever do that either. However, do we always support people as fully as we can, especially if their endeavours may outshine our own?
At the weekend myself and Bakji went to our local peer rope group. So many of our friends were doing awesome rope, suspending partners, suspending friends and even suspending themselves. Me? I was rolling around on the floor with Bakji randomly tying rope in any old fashion and generally having a giggle with it (see picture for the resulting randomness of tying one human to another). No part of me felt crap about that though, in fact I got all the happy feels seeing them all do so well. Sure I could have sat there and somehow made it their fault that I haven’t learned as much rope as them, but quite frankly that’s the dumbest thing ever. Yet some people still go down that road.
We also have friends who run small businesses, write blogs, record podcasts and run fetish events. Promoting #ProudToBeKinky takes up a huge amount of my time, but where I can I promote and support my friends endeavours too. I do this because I believe in my friends, and I want them to succeed. I don’t sit there coming up with dastardly plans on how to outdo them, or how to muscle in on their success. I guarantee someone is sat reading this thinking ‘who would do that?’, people, that’s who. Sometimes I wonder if they realise they’re doing it.
I have come to realise though that not everyone is like this. Some people seem to actively hope others will fail, or that some kind of unpleasant situation will befall them. Just in case that person’s success overshadows their own, or maybe out of envy that their own situation isn’t where they want it to be. I’ve seen people keep resources to themselves to hinder other people’s learning and I’ve witnessed people downplay other people’s good news, even when they’re the smallest of wins.
I’ve been on the receiving end of these things too, and I’ve sat there thinking to myself, ‘do they know their comment comes of as, ‘oh that, that’s nothing’’. Even though I delivered the news with a bouncy excitement, so clearly to me it was something. I’ve also had people think it’s their place to pass negative comments or twisted observations on my relationship, be it a past or a present one. In a moment when I wasn’t asking for input. So I’m basically sat there going ‘what the fuck?, why would you say that?’
I’m not saying I’m perfect, I’m not. I do get that feeling when someone I’m less than fond of is doing something I want to do, or even doing something I’m not but their a roaring success at whatever it is. It’s that ‘urgh why them’, type thought. But you know what, I always check myself, before I wreck myself. Before you ask, yes, I am totally cool enough to use that phrase. The reason I don’t dwell on those thoughts and let them manifest is why shouldn’t someone else have good things, just because we maybe had a falling out, or we don’t get along for other reasons. That’s no reason for me to wish them anything but good luck in life. Also I think holding onto that level of negativity settles inside you and ends up poisoning your own life.
When people let those ‘why them’ type thoughts not only take root, but allow it against their own friends, I find that somewhat baffling. Failing at something, or having a bad experience can have really horrid long terms effects for some people. Not everyone is good at bouncing back. For creative endeavours especially it can be really disheartening if you think no one is interested in what you’re putting out there. That’s why I’m always so grateful to those people who stop by my blog and read my thoughts, and to those who press the like button or leave a comments, that’s even more awesome. To know you’re not speaking to the void is a lovely feeling.
I find I end up distancing myself from those people who constantly seem to have negative things to say about their friends, I’m always left wondering ‘what on earth to they say about me when I’m not here?’ Are they hoping my endeavours will fail too? Or that my relationship will crumble? I work damn hard on all those things, so the fact that anyone could be hoping for their demise is really quite annoying. Especially as I would never do them the same disservice.
Through the podcast and also this blog, the list of people I’m willing to champion has grown. We’ve connected with so many awesome people, and they’ve all got their own voice and their own messages to share, and in some cases products to sell. So here is my big list of friends, who I either know in real life or have made an online connection with and the their endeavours. Please do give them a little visit and see what you think.
Parking Lot Radio – Podcast
Will Sean Podcast – Podcast
Drinks With God – Podcast
Take Back Your Sex – Podcast & Blog
Black People Kink – Podcast
Loving BDSM – Podcast
SlapStick Club – London’s Most Puckish Fetish Club
Master M Hatter – Books, MMH Jute Rope & Rope jewellery, Shibari Tutorial
Cheshire Cat – Diary of a slave Blog
Nicholas Tanek – Great books about kink, life and love
Page Turner and Poly.Land – Blog and Book about Polyamory
Nookie Notes Books, Facebook group, Dating site, you name it Nookie has it going on
Kitten Treasures – for all your furry ear and tail needs, plus much more
CollaredMichael – Journey into Male Chastity