The last two or three weeks have seen being far less productive than I’d usually like to be, I still have a cough left over from what has to be the most evil cold I have had in a long time, I’ve been looking for a new day job, as a matter of urgency as I am currently unemployed which is not a happy place for me and the last week has been half term, which always disturbs my writing routine and rightly so because my small human is only 6 and is still at the stage of enjoying Mummy’s company, so I am aware that I should make the most of that before he’s older and too cool to hang out with me.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t been perusing blogs though and there have definitely been a lot of posts that I have really enjoyed. I’ve especially been enjoying the Halloween inspired posts throughout October and was inspired to explore some spooky writing myself which has been a lot of fun. Enough about me though, here are my top picks from the last couple of weeks.
The questions for this week’s Food for Thought Friday are all about the 69 sex position. I don’t write much about specific sex acts, but for the sheer fact I have immense feels on the 69 position I am letting loose.
Sixty-nine or 69, also known by its French name soixante-neuf, is a group of sex positions in which two people align themselves so that each person’s mouth is near the other’s genitals, each simultaneously performing oral sex on the other. – From Google
So two of the questions poses over on Food for Thought Friday were; Is it, or has it ever been part of your regular “repertoire”? and What are your views on this particular activity? Yeah? Neah? Meh? I realised answering one would give away the answer to the other, so here goes, my thoughts on the sixty-nine position and probably the answers to both those questions.
I do like tattoos. I have 9, but one is still to be finished. Even when I was little I loved tattoos and found people with them utterly fascinating. My Mum however was less than impressed with this interest and because of her dislike of them I was 21 before I got my first one.
When I was 21 I had know my then partner for 2 years, we had just bought a puppy together and were both keen to get tattooed for the first time. We decided to get matching paw prints, they only small, about the size of a 50p piece. Mine is on the inside of my left ankle, his in the same place on his right ankle. Even thought we are no longer together, I have find memories of the 10 years we were together and I still love that little tattoo we got.
I have two tattoo that in memory of loved ones, one on my foot for my uncle and my largest piece on my back for my Mum. That particular tattoo took a long time to be completed. When I finally shared an image of it on Facebook, so many people said kindly how lovely it was, followed by how proud my Mum would be of it. To this day I find that hilarious because she’d be mortified I used her as a reason to get such a big tattoo. But she’s not here to tell me off any more so its tough!
I love my tattoos and they are all so special to me, and I have more I’d like to get. It’s a wonderful form of self expression for me, and has been much needed catharsis in some very troubled times.
2. How did you pick your online profile name?
Well I’ve had a few, but seeing as this is FlossDoesLife, let’s go for how I picked Floss. As many of you will know I quite often have bright coloured hair, more often than not a shade of pink. Not long after I’d joined the kink scene I was looking for a new Fetlife name, as the one I had was linked to a previous experience that I was eager to forget. One day a friend of mine said ‘Your hair is just like candyfloss. Oooh I’m going to call you Floss.’
I then remembered that as a little one my Mum used to call me FloozyFlo, which is a big giveaway as to what one of my given names is. With that in mind I changed my Fetlife name to FloozyFloss. When I decided to streamline all my social media accounts, and starts this blog in place of my previous one (which was attached to my previous Fetlife name) I decided to be like Cher and Madonna and just rechristen myself Floss.
It isn’t just my online name anymore, I am much more accustomed to people calling me Floss than any variation of my given name. Especially people within the kink community, friends I’m met in the last three years or anyone I’m likely to meet through blogging or podcasting. For me that’s not about keeping my identity private, though of course this is something I must be cautious of, it’s just that Floss feels like me.
3. What’s one saying you try to live by?
One of my favourites saying is …
I first found this when I was looking for quotes relating to Non-Monogamy and I think it works perfectly for that, but I think it is appropriate to so many relationships in this life.
4. What was the last bad meal you ate? Why was it so awful?
It’s been a really long time since I ate a bad meal. I mostly eat at home, and it’s usually food I’ve cooked myself and I cook up some delicious meals when I put my mind to it. So I’ll go for the worst meal I’ve ever eaten, which was when I first visited New York. I went with the school (we had an awesome Geography teacher that made it happen) so all our meals were planned in advance, in terms of where we were eating, there were then minimal options upon arriving. One even we visited China Town which I loved, so much so that’s where we stayed when we visited this year. Now there are some fabulous restaurants in China Town, my 16 year old self did not get to visit one.
We were served chicken soup, which was essentially a bowl of fat with bits of chicken carcass in, oh and sweetcorn, mustn’t forget the sweetcorn. It was completely inedible and I’m pretty sure we all went an bought snacks to help us survive until breakfast the next morning. I actually ate a lot of terrible meals during that holiday. So I am pleased to confirm that this years trip to New York involved some delicious meals.
5. When was your last bad sexual encounter? Why was it so awful?
Oh! I don’t really like this question! I hate talking about bad sex, mostly because a lot of the sex I’ve had that wasn’t great, was’t really anyone’s fault it was just down to poor communication and in all honestly a huge lack of knowledge on my part. I don’t know that I’ve ever had bad sex, but I have had sex that was just ‘meh’, not good, not bad, just perfunctory. That hasn’t happen for a very long time though.
Just prior to joining the kink scene I did have a dalliance where many of the sexual encounters I had with that person feel bad when I look back upon them. They feel bad for some many reasons, in part because they whole span of time with that person should never have happened. The locations of some of our sexual exploits were ill chosen, and some of what went down in our encounters are things I would now not accept as appropriate behaviour.
Bonus: Tell us something random.
Something random, well goodness me that’s nice and broad. Oh I know … as some of you will know, some of you won’t, I love Harry Potter. I used the audio books as bedtime stories and in generally Harry Potter is my happy place. This of course means I have visited Pottermore to discover more about myself and the Harry Potter world. My Pottermore credentials are as follows:
Hogwarts House: Slytherin
My Patronus: A Kingfisher
My Wand: Laurel wood with a Phoenix feather core 13″ and Surprisingly Swishy flexibility
Incidentally the Harry Potter love also relates to the question about tattoos. I have a small tattoo that has the Deathly Hallows sitting within a dot work heart. One day though I would very much like to add to the tattoo collection with some Harry Potter themed ink.
You can answer all these questions too and get involved at TMI Tuesday.
If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March.
A little while back the wonderful Posy Churchgate tagged me in a Erotica competition on Twitter and I didn’t enter. Then she tagged me again because the deadline had been extended for entries and I did enter. The finalist have been announced for that competition and I am one of them. Which means I owe Posy a massive thank you for tagging me not once, but twice, because without that I would not have entered.
‘Would you like some cake? I made it myself.’ Her eyes light up, and she accepts gratefully. I watch as cake crumbs fall onto her pert breasts and my mind wanders to touching and tasting, and I don’t for one minute mean the cake. – Excerpt from Beauty and the Babe
When I first started this blog I wasn’t involved in the blogging community at all. Through the podcast I started to converse with other podcasters, and that felt like a far easier community to break into that the blogging one. Until that is I realised something, I hadn’t actually tried to be part of the blogging community.
When I decided to eventually start taking part in things within the blogging community I will be honest and say I did so because I thought it might be a good way to promote ProudToBeKinky. However, far more of you visit me for my writing than my podcasting, so I can be upfront and say that plan did not work out.
On Saturdays I usually do a #SoSS Saturdays post and I will be including an element of that in this post, but I’m also going to be very Floss focused. Self promotion can be a really tricky thing to do, but right now self promotion and pushing myself forward as a worthy candidate for things is quite literally putting food on the table.
As some of you know, but many of you might have missed, I am no longer in the employment of the tattoo studio I was working for. The simple reason being is the man running it showed his true colours one too many times and I stood up to a bully. I will not be a verbal punching bag for anyone, and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable watching someone else allow that to happen to them and that was the situation I was in. So I left. Whether I was pushed or whether I jumped is up for debate, but either way I have no job.
As I was only going my apprenticeship and due to the nature of the tattoo industry in my town walking into a similar position will be extremely unlikely and may no pay the bills quick enough. Due to the nature of my Instagram and the topics I discuss here and on the podcast I often get asked for certain services, such as; nudes, cam work, phone sex, key holding services and much more.
On Monday I discussed in my Masturbation Monday post how I am trying to challenge myself as a writer. There are certain things I rarely so as a writer. I rarely if ever name my characters, and I am not great at writing pieces that follow on from one another. I thought my recent involvement in #friflash might be a really good place to stretch myself with regards to those things and it would be remiss of me not to mention that F Dot Leanora who runs the prompt, actually is one of the people who inspired me to give this a go.
Again I ask you to bear with me while I flex my creative muscles. Things may not always be as well rounded as some of my previous pieces, but I hope over time they will start to become better as I familiarise myself with new ways to write. You may also like to read Part 1 of this serial.
My hands shook as I dialled her number. I could have sent a text, but I couldn’t handle waiting for a response. Plus I wanted to hear her voice, and I needed to hear the tone with which she responded to my question.
She answered quickly, sure and clear with her hello, the unknown number didn’t fluster her like it would have done me.
‘Hi .. it’s .. errr, me .. from the cafe.’
‘Oh hello errrmefromthecafe. I’m so happy you called.’
Setting up a blog is fairly easy. There a wide range of platforms where you can have a blog set up in minutes. Feeling your a legitimate blogger and not an imposter though is much harder. When asked why we write, many of us will give answers that revolve around doing it for ourselves, myself included. While that is true, I think once you start putting your words on a public platform, it is also nice to know you’re not talking into the void.
When I comment on the various memes I get involved in, especially Sinful Sunday because I endeavour to view and comment on every picture, I often notice that some of the newer participants were getting far less comments than the regulars. I understand not everyone can dedicate the time to comment on every image. Or every blog post if it’s Wicked Wednesday or Masturbation Monday, I myself can’t always do that because reading is far more of a time commitment than viewing images. Quick shout out to Friday Flash as well because I’ve also recently given that a go for the first time.
Her hands move deftly, caressing her camera like a lover. I watch enthralled as she captures the fair lady’s face with her lens. All too soon she is on the move, and my eyes fall to the mural of Audrey Hepburn that so appealed to her.
She’s cute and I’m a coward. My feet betray me though and follow her into the cafe adjacent to the mural. Most seats are taken, with many patrons choosing to stand as they chat and devour delicious pastries. She however has found a seat, at a table for two.
Camera in hand she flicks through the images she has taken, her facial expressions mesmerise me as she reviews the images she has procured.
In another lapse of being myself, I ask if the seat at her table is free. It is. I am sitting with the cute girl wondering how to eat a pastry in front of her with getting crumbs in my hair or spilling coffee down my blouse.
I’m not big on the ‘L’ word, when I saw it was the prompt for the week I was doing the round-up for Wicked Wednesday I really did think that was vaguely comical. In the three years I have been intimately involved with Bakji I have probably said it no more than dozen times, maybe even less than 10. Or it could be more but I might have been drunk for many of them.
In addition to the above, which must seem like a terrible admission, It took me about 2 years to say ‘I love you’, I felt it after about 3 months, at 4 months I realised I wasn’t going to undo the horror of ‘falling in love’ and promised myself that if I felt the same after 6 months I’d say it. Then for many a fucked up reason I decided to never say it, would be a wiser decision.
What happened in the absence of I love you was actually quite sweet, we found different ways to express our affection, both of us I think not daring or wanting to declare too much. I think we each had our own reasons for that, but I think in part for both of us it was not wanting to ‘jinx it’.
Even now it is something we say very infrequently, but when it is said it is rather lovely, I have to admit that. Discussing why I felt the way I do, or feel the way I do about ‘I love you’ is well known to me, but would be thoroughly depressing to write about. A lot of it is irrational and I need to let so much of it go, and I’m working on that, sort of, but I think this is one case where writing out just won’t help.
Instead I want to focus on something positive. Well ten positives actually. In a somewhat uncharacteristic display of unabashed affection I would like to share with you 10 things I love about Bakji, all of which show that he is to blame for me catching feelings in the first place.
He is super funny!
Anyone who listens to the podcast will have heard my eye-rolls when Bakji interrupts me with yet another joke. Don’t be fooled though, those eye-rolls are nearly always accompanied by a grin and he has made me laugh every single day for the last three years. He is so silly sometimes and he think up daft games for us to play to keep me entertained. My own nature is far more serious and I need that laughter in my life. That he not only can make me laugh, but is so happy to do so, is truly one of my favourite things about him
He helps me try new things!
The amount of new things I’ve tried and discovered I love since meeting Bakji is a really long list. From podcasts to food, and of course new kinks. I have discovered more about myself in three years than I did in the previous 30! He does this by sharing his likes with me, and not being a bumhead when I decide to copy. He suggests new things to me and is happy when I seem curious and decide maybe I’d like that thing too.
He’s kind and generous
In the early days of our sexy friendship I was very careful not to overshare. No mentioning my worries, no boring him with the drudgery of my life as a parent, keeping the conversation light and as carefree as possible was my main aim. I was determined to never seem ill, or out of sorts and vowed that if I ever was those things then Bakji wouldn’t be dealing with them. As time has gone on hiding all those things from someone has been impossible, and when I have shared these things with Bakji he has always been the sweetest and most loving person I could ask for, and when and where he can he is always generous in terms of helping me make things better. I still dig my heels in sometimes when it comes to being looked after, but it’s actually a wonderful thing to know that he there for me when I need him.
He loves going on adventures with me
When I first joined the kink community one of the things I was searching for was adventure. By adventure I don’t necessarily mean distant travels to far away lands, although I’m not saying no to that if someone is offering. Adventures to me can be all kinds of things, for Bakji and I our adventures together began with travelling to kink events. Living outside of London meant lots of car journeys. We would drive to London, park near the event venue, have our fun, then drive home again at any time between 1am and 4am! Usually falling into bed between 6am and 7am. It never failed to shock people, but it was fun and we were doing it all together which made it even better. We’ve also had adventures in learning rope, adventures into new realms of kinky fun and adventures in non-monogamy. It was also only this year that we actually did go on an international adventure and that was an amazing adventure for sure. I know we have many more adventures to come and I can’t wait for them all.
He gives the best cuddles and snuggles
Physical affection is something that does not come naturally to me. No big bad reason for that. It’s just the way I am, with everyone. When I met Bakji and we started doing kinky things together the aftercare bit was not what I was expecting. Content to be left alone he would initiate a hug, and I think it may have been the first time we did this I actually said ‘we don’t have to hug’, his reply to which was he would like to, if that’s okay. It was different, but it wasn’t an issue so we began to hug more and somewhere along the line I began to love those cuddles. They are so good. I’m still not the best at initiating them. I do it far more than I ever imagined I would though and I love snuggling with Bakji, especially when we have sleepovers and we are all cosy in bed together. It is one of the best feelings in the world.
He’s gorgeous and sexy
Is it cheating to include this one I wonder? Maybe, but I feel like it would be less authentic if I didn’t include it because I’d be lying if I said Bakji’s gorgeous face wasn’t one of the first things that I noticed about him. He is so pretty. Three years down the line and he is even more gorgeous now than he was when I first met him and that is quite an achievement. His body was so enticing that it made me decide that I need to learn rope and take up Topping. I know some people find focusing on physical attraction shallow, but that physical attraction and chemistry we have together is all part of what made the deeper feelings develop. Without that initial ‘phwoar, I want some of that sexy’ we may not be where we are at all.
He listens and hears
One of the things I have often found frustrating is when I try to talk something through with someone and they offer me a solution based not on what I said, or meant, but based on what they decided I’d said. Listening is one thing, but actually hearing someone is a whole other skill set. I am forever grateful that Bakji doesn’t just listen to me, but he hears me too. He doesn’t leap to solutions either,thought he does offer his assistance if he feels it’s appropriate. Often though I don’t need him to fix anything for me, I say often because sometimes I really do need that, most of all though what I’m usually looking for is just a sounding board or a listening ear and someone to tell me it will be okay. The fact that Bakji actually gets this means a lot.
He’s unapologetic about being himself
We do not have the most conventional of relationships and we have no desire to follow the more regular steps of the relationship escalator as it were. We both have our own reasons for this, some overlap, some don’t. What I have always respected about Bakji is that he has no desire to pander to society and apologise for not wanting some of the things that may be expected from him. In the beginning this meant that I didn’t quite appreciate that our relationship could and eventually develop in something a little more meaningful than I had initially imagined. It was I think a reason I didn’t really keep my guard up, because I didn’t think there was anything to guard against. Not wanting to live together or use more familiar (to society) terminology for our dynamic doesn’t make it any less special though. I think Bakji always new these things, and a multitude of other things, and it took me some time to figure them out. I’m glad I did though because I adore the slightly random way in which we have combined sexy forces and feel blessed to have done so without either of us having to have compromised on things that are deal breakers for us. (Just to add we do compromise overall, we are no immovable and unfeeling objects.)
He challenges me to be better
Not as in ‘I challenge thee to duel, be better now or I shall poke thee with my fighting stick’, although now I’ve written that I’m having thoughts about his ‘fighting stick’ (yes I do mean willy) and I think improvements could be made faster if he threatened me with it more. In all seriousness though, there are some people who drag you down in life, and some who lift you up. Quite often it’s not even about whether or not they try to do those things, it’s just human nature. Bakji is thankfully one of those people who lifts you up. He is organised, driven and always on the lookout to improve himself or learn new things. He does those things for him, but witnessing them makes me want to do them for myself too. I think I’m yet to make the leap from better self to best self, but these things don’t happen overnight and luckily I have a Bakji to keep me company along the way.
I sometimes get messages on Instagram asking if I’m ‘single’ which isn’t actually true or false, non-monogamy and/or polyamory rather changes the way you need to ask and answer that question. I am however not ‘available’ to them, so I always say no, and because I don’t care to give them my life story I simply say I ‘have a partner’. To which they always nearly always reply, ‘oh, I bet he wouldn’t like knowing you show the world your arse/sell men nudes/are a massive cok tease’ etc. Not only does he know, but he wholeheartedly support me doing things that a) entertain me and b) earn me some extra monies. He is supportive of me in so many ways and he is supportive of me for the best reason ever, he simply wants good things for me. He also trusts me not to do anything stupid, like sell a kidney for a fiver or meet a random stranger offering me 50p for a blowjob.
There we have it, 10 delightful things that I love about Bakji, or things about Bakji that make me love him, I’m not really sure which way round it works. Either way though, he is the most awesome sexy-friend a girl could ask for.
Written for this weeks Wicked Wednesday prompt, please do check out the other blog post that are added to the link up, my fellow bloggers never disappoint and you will definitely find some sexy and interesting reads there.
If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi