The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself by Nicholas Tanek

When I started my blog, I never really considered book reviews as part of it all. However, recently I’ve read a few books that have definitely earned themselves a spot on the blog.

If you listen to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast you will have heard us chat to Author Nicholas Tanek. If you don’t listen to the podcast, why not? Go now and have a listen. I promise it’s actually pretty good.

Nicholas had written three books, and he came on to discuss his most recent release ‘Your Kinky Friends’. Which follows his journey into the kink community following the death of his partner. The book he wrote as a tribute to her was his first book ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’, and sandwiched between the two of those is ‘Chipped Black Nail Polish’.

You absolutely could read these books in any order, but me being me I needed to read them in the order they were released. Which meant I gave myself less than two weeks to read three books. As well as doing the rest of life along side my reading. Now this turned out to be an easy task because the books were so wonderful to read. As someone who is constantly disappointed in any novels that embrace kink, I was worried. But they were worries that were totally unfounded. I absolutely fell in love with the story Nicholas told.

In ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’ we follow Nicholas as he journeys from being a young teen right through to being in his mid 30’s, and what a journey it is. This book deals with addiction, recovery, friendship, love, passion, kink and loss. All of those themes are dealt with in such an honest and raw way that for me it was impossible not to get caught up in the words. They stuck with me, even in the moments I was not reading and in the following weeks, the words and the message stayed with me. Below is my review I left for ‘The coolest Way …’ on Amazon, which I think sums up my feelings pretty well.

“It is rare that a book makes me truly stop and think. However ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’ stopped me in my tracks. If you think you’ve ever taken life or love for granted in the past, then you need to read this book.

I could tell you how well crafted this books is, or how the characters are believable and well rounded, (as they should be as they are people Nicholas actually knew), I could start saying lots of fancy things about rich vocabulary and literary content, but honestly? None of that stuff registered for me, because this book has something so much better … heart!

It has so much heart, and emotion, and depth. It’s raw and I won’t lie, it’s uncomfortable in places, and I loved that. I love that this book took hold of me and went; ‘Look! Look at life through someone else’s eyes and feel it.’ And you know what? I did feel it, I felt it so much that I read most of the last few chapters through floods of tears. And I was a better person for it I believe.

I told my partner I missed him, I told him I was grateful to have him in my life. I hugged kissed and laughed with my son. I reached out to my friends to check in on them if we hadn’t spoken in a while. I pulled the people I loved close to me, because this book is a hefty reminder that life is often short and cruel. While simultaneously being a bloody big adventure, that we should absolutely seize and enjoy every moment of.

I think everyone needs to read this book. Nicholas has written something that is truly a gift to all that read it. I am thankful to have read it.”

Another reason I loved this book is it shows how your kinks can flourish with someone you have a deep connection with and trust implicitly. Alongside that is the fact the this book isn’t about a strict 24/7 lifestyle, it doesn’t discuss protocols or the importance of labels . It’s about two people who do what feels right in the moment. Which is a philosophy of kink that I am very much a fan of.

For me this lifestyle, the embracing of your kinky self, should be fun. It should make you life better and brighter. This shines through in ‘The Coolest Way …’, Nick and Lynn clearly found better and brighter days with each other. Which is what makes their ending so utterly heartbreaking.

In summary: Read this book, appreciate life and live it.

Listen to our chat with Nicholas Tanek in Episode 25 of #ProudToBeKinky, available on most podcast apps. Find Nicholas and his books here on Amazon.