Submissive men don’t exactly have the best reputation, and while FemDom isn’t only for submissive men, it is the go to notion when people imagine FemDom. Which is a crying shame because FemDom is sexy for all genders. For the purposes of this post though, predominantly due to outside views, I am going to be awful and make this a very gender focused post and I hope you will see why as you read on.
When people who don’t know any better think of Female Dominants and male submissives, they tend to get a very stereotypical image enter their heads. Totally ruthless bitch of a FemDom and a pathetic, grovelling, snivelling, weak willed man.
Continue reading “FemDom Friday: Your sub Doesn’t Have To Be Weak!”
A follow on from last weeks Wicked Wednesday piece Cool Shower.
Content Warning: Humiliation and degradation.
‘So … Together or apart?
‘Apart. They’ve enjoyed each other too much today. Time to separate them.’
At our attempts to get on with showering and preparing for lunch, their hands rose into a stop motion and the words ‘don’t you dare move’ were uttered. We both sat motionless on the bed, as the atmosphere in the room shifted.
‘Which one do you want?’
‘Well mine needs a shower, she’s filthy and needs some punishment for fucking yours. So you take her.’
Continue reading “Erotica – Cool Shower – Part 2”
He is such a good boy. Waiting. Patiently.
He looks fucking glorious, and he is glorious to fuck. Collar on, he kneels in the centre of the room. You arrive first as planned and we continue to adorn him with his accessories of submission. Ankle and wrist cuffs, his harness and for the time being a blindfold and a gag.
Our eyes meet as we stand either side of him and I’m compelled to touch you. The collusion in planning this for him has brought us closer together. I am delighted to find you are as wet as I am as my hand reaches under your skirt. My finger moves between your slick and inviting labia … and the doorbell goes!
Continue reading “Erotica – Just Like a Lamb”
Aftercare – The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which those involved calm down, and slowly come back in touch with reality.
When I first joined the kink community the concept of aftercare baffled me. As someone who would not consider themselves tactile or overly affectionate I decided that aftercare wasn’t for me. I am not embarrassed to say I was wrong. I think aftercare is for everybody, and what some of us are saying when we say we don’t ‘need aftercare’ is ‘my aftercare looks different to yours’. Whether we have discovered that for ourselves or not.
Continue reading “A Switchy Girl’s Guide To … Aftercare”
‘I won’t be a very good Top/Dominant because I don’t want to hurt people’
Most Sadists will at some point be the Top in a scene, due to the nature of Sadism being a doing thing, not a receiving thing. Not all Sadists will identify as, or have any desire to be a Dominant though. On the flip side of that, many Tops and Dominants have no Sadistic inclinations at all.
‘What can I do to be Dominant though if I don’t like causing pain?’
Pain play is a huge part of BDSM … for some people. It is the SM (Sadism and Masochism) part of the acronym. If you are neither a Sadist or a masochist though, you still have all the other letters to play with. Bondage and Discipline and Dominance and submission. None of which need to involve pain.
Continue reading “FemDom Friday: Sensual Domination Is Valid”
If you are human, and I’m assuming most of my readers are, there is a chance that at some point in life you’ve had a crisis of confidence. More times than I can count I have heard someone use low confidence levels as to why they are too nervous to try a new kink with a partner. This is especially so when is comes to taking control and being the Dominant partner, though that is not to say that is the only scenario that lack of confidence infiltrates.
I have without doubt struggled with this issue myself, aided wonderfully by other people being less than encouraging about attempts I did make to try new things. When I met Bakji things started to shift, due to his constant support, encouragement and kindness and I decided that new things were definitely something I wanted to do.
Continue reading “Is Confidence Affecting Your Kink?”
FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out
Frenzy, drop and FOMO are to my mind a trio of spoil sports who given half the chance will definitely ruin our kinky fun. Knowing that they are always lurking around the corner ready to attack is half the battle, accepting they will happen and learning how to deal with them, gives you much more control over the effects they will have on you.
Frenzy, more often than not referred to as subfrenzy, a term I am going to avoid. While it is my experience that those exploring their submissive tendencies do suffer frenzy more intensely, Tops and Dominants are not immune to it and I think it remiss of anyone to think their kink label will stop them from having the down sides of engaging in BDSM activities.
Continue reading “A Switchy Girl’s Guide To … Frenzy, Drop and FOMO”