Category: Sex

#MasturbationMonday, Alternative Lifestyles, Bisexuality, Erotica, Friendship, Kink, Nonmonogamy, Passion, Polyamory, Relationships, Sex, Writing, Writing Prompt

I Wish I’d Taken the Photo

I wish I’d taken the photo.

He’s lying on his back, one arm at his side, the other folded under his head. The fact it is post sex means he is beautifully naked. Exactly as he should be all the time in my opinion. The gym sessions are showing, muscle definition is popping in all the right places. In all honestly I want to have the sex all over again as I look at him.

I wish I’d taken the photo.

Why is it then, if he is so glorious, that I am thinking of you?

I’m thinking of you because I want you to see him, as he is in that moment. I wish I had taken the photo I envisaged in my mind, convincing him to let me take and share it, might have been two very hard battles to win, but I think I could have offered a persuasive argument.

I know he wants you to want him, and oh my, you would have wanted him so hard in that moment.

I wish I’d taken the photo.

I can feel your name on my tongue, both post sex and during. I can feel you slipping into my mind as we fuck, wondering where you might want to be, where he might want you and where I’d like you. There’s is a look he gets, and a shift in atmosphere when your name lingers in the air and it makes my cunt twitch and my mind race with erotic possibilities. I want to make your cunt twitch too.

I wish I’d taken the photo.

There is so much I want to see and do.

I want to showcase him.

IMG_7839I want to show you the things I know will elicit the most sexy and joyful of responses from him.

I want to sit back as you tend to him in your own way, and see what new discoveries unfold.

I want you to do nothing, as together we navigate the pleasures of your body.

I want to deny him, as my fingers make you come, and my tongue revels in the taste of you.

I want to make him beg for you. I want to hear him say the words out loud for us both to hear.

I want to watch as he slides inside you, so I can see him from another perspective as he fucks you.

There are so many ‘wants’ that I am longing to explore. They are all percolating inside me, latching on to my every sense of arousal, consuming me beyond want and into aching need.

Fuck the photo!

I wish you’d been there to see it in person.

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Image Credit Natasha Benten

#SinfulSunday, Love, Masturbation, Passion, Relationships, Self Expression, Sex, Sexuality

#SinfulSunday: His T-Shirt

His T-Shirt

I wonder if you can feel me
As I breathe you in
As your scent emanates
From soft folds of fabric
Lying against my skin

I am wearing nothing
But you

I am feeling everything
Because of you

Missing
Needing
Wanting
You

Aching
Longing
Coming
For you

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There are some stunning images for this weeks Sinful Sunday, follow the link below the lips to see who else is getting involved.

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#WickedWednesday, BDSM, D/s, Erotic Humiliation, Erotica, Fetish, Kink, Sex, Submission, Writing, Writing Prompt

Erotica – Cool Shower – Part 2

A follow on from last weeks Wicked Wednesday piece Cool Shower.

Content Warning: Humiliation and degradation.

‘So … Together or apart?

‘Apart. They’ve enjoyed each other too much today. Time to separate them.’

At our attempts to get on with showering and preparing for lunch, their hands rose into a stop motion and the words ‘don’t you dare move’ were uttered. We both sat motionless on the bed, as the atmosphere in the room shifted.

‘Which one do you want?’

‘Well mine needs a shower, she’s filthy and some punishment for fucking yours. So you take her.’

I love it when they speak about us like this, reduced to nothing but commodities, things they can share between them. The loving endearments of our individual relationships cast aside, while the focus becomes ownership and hedonism.

I am unceremoniously dragged to the bathroom and he shuts the door behind us, muffling the sounds that are beginning to come from the bedroom. He has that look that tells me he is going to make this hurt, whether that is physical or emotional it’s hard to tell.

Physical comes first as his hand makes contact with my face in a firm slap, with a simultaneous command to get on my knees.

His shorts are barely containing his cock and it bursts forth as if it has been suffocating when he undoes his button and zip. Once free it is forced into my mouth, his hand clamped in my hair. I gag and I drool as tears stream from my eyes.

When he releases me, I briefly gain enough focus to hear deep, enthusiastic moans of pleasure coming from the bedroom. I know he’s inside her, pushing, throbbing, lost in the thrill of her warm, wet cunt consuming him.

I am pulled to my feet by my hair, and left standing while his hand reaches for the shower.

‘You look so fucking grubby. Get in the shower and make yourself decent again … if that’s even possible.’

The warm water is mine for just a second before he turns the temperature dial and ice cold water cascades over my body. My eyes close in shock and when I open them he is stood before me, safely out of reach of the water, his eyes upon me, cock in hand.

‘Turn the water off and kneel down.’

I do as I’m told and it soon becomes apparent that my painfully cold shower was completely pointless. The rhythm of his hand now promises to be fruitful, and it would be optimistic of me to think he’d do something as kind as order me to swallow.  

I am transfixed by him. He is awful to me in these sessions. He does his absolute best to humiliate and degrade me. Having excavated all the darkest and most depraved thoughts I possess from my mind in order to use them against me. Which is how he knows that I can’t abide having come in my hair, but as he pointed out with great glee, not enough to have it on my list of limits.

I watch as he shudders and tenses while his orgasm builds within him, before his come lands just above my hairline.

He smears his come into my hair and across my face. There is nothing sexy about this, which begs the question why my thighs are wet with my own arousal.

With the shower off and a brief lull in our own activities, I hear the noises of our respective partners floating into my mind as if calling to me from a far away place.

He opens the door just a fraction, and the sound of their pleasure becomes more audible. He moves me into position, my head is leaning against the door frame, he is purposely holding it there because he knows that not only will it be uncomfortable, but it also give me the slightest glimpse of them.

He closes in on me, his body holding me captive as his mouth falls to my ear and I struggle against him, but he holds me in place, knowing my desire to escape is half hearted.

‘Look at them. Look at how much he’s enjoying her. I bet you thought they were still fucking, hard and dirty, like you always beg for. That’s not fucking though is it?’

When I don’t reply, he pushes my head harder against the wooden door frame, repeating his question with an almost venomous force. My voice cracking I manage to utter a single word, ‘no’.

That isn’t good enough though, he wants to hear me say the words that I can’t bear to use. Watching them though, I can see why he wants me to say it. Missionary, would describe the basic position, but it wouldn’t convey the intensity of their interaction. I can see them moving in harmony together, taking deep, laboured breaths that look as if they are breathing in each other, not the surrounding air. Her head cradled by his hands, as his lips keep returning to hers, for one more kiss, and one more, and one more. Their eyes flicker from open to closed and back again, drinking each other in while they are open, committing the others face to memory for when the depth of the pleasure draws them shut. It is so fucking sensual I could cry.

‘Tell me … if it’s not fucking, then what the hell is it?’

‘It … it looks like … like … m-m-making love.’

I cringe inwardly as I say it. It’s a phrase I hate and an action I find hard to embrace. Seeing it though doesn’t create one emotion, but many. It’s hard to untangle them, they well up inside me, until I’m like a river threatening to burst free from its banks. Just as it starts to verge on unbearable, he saves me.

‘That’s enough voyeurism for you. Lie in the bath and spread your legs. Head under the tap.’

His fingers do not move gently or with grace. They slam into me, hard and unforgiving, and the shame of how close I already am to coming brings the moment of climax even closer still. His voice graces my ears with a tirade of verbal degradation, the more he belittles and berates me though the more turned on I become. His fingers continue slamming into me, with what seems like reckless abandon, but he is actually exceptionally aware of the spot he is hitting. Over and over again, pushing me closer and closer, just as I am perched on the edge, only one more forceful push to tear my climax from body, he turns the shower on.

I can barely breathe as the water cascades over face, and it feels like an eternity of fear has descended upon me. It pulls me back from the edge ever so slightly, but his fingers keep on going and before I know it fear and arousal have combined, and I don’t know if I’m going to die or come, and for just a second I don’t care, because wave after wave of pleasure starts to wash over me and suddenly the water is gone too, and the deep breath I take seems to fuel the fire and I come so hard the world goes black.

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#WickedWednesday, BDSM, D/s, Erotica, Female Led Relationships, Femdom, Fetish, Kink, Nonmonogamy, Polyamory, Sex, Sexuality, Submission, Topping, Writing

Erotica – Just Like a Lamb

He is such a good boy. Waiting. Patiently.

He looks fucking glorious, and he is glorious to fuck. Collar on, he kneels in the centre of the room. You arrive first as planned and we continue to adorn him with his accessories of submission. Ankle and wrist cuffs, his harness and for the time being a blindfold and a gag.

Our eyes meet as we stand either side of him and I’m compelled to touch you. The collusion in planning this for him has brought us closer together. I am delighted to find you are as wet as I am as my hand reaches under your skirt. My finger moves between your slick and inviting labia … and the doorbell goes!

One by one our guests begin to arrive, until we are at our final numbers. Ten women and one man.

We take our places, forming a circle around him, there is something sacrificial about the scene, and the phrase ‘like a lamb to the slaughter’, seems positively appropriate. As I step forward to remove his gag and blindfold, I can see his muscles tensing as he realises just how many women we have invited to enjoy him.

With a nod of my head, everyone steps forward, we close in on him as hands descend upon his skin. He knows he is not to move or make advances upon anyone without instruction, only you and I can present him with orders and no one can seek anything from him without presenting their wishes to us first. Yes he will be used, but he will also be protected.

His first task is to serve drinks and mingle, so those present can decide what they might want from the evening, as well as giving everyone a chance to relax get to know each other better. His behaviour is impeccable and I swell with pride knowing that the collar he wears around his neck is mine. Being able to share him and encourage others to indulge in him is an honour.

As flirtations increase, and it becomes clear that friskiness is becoming the main feeling in the room we invite our guests to remove some layers, and before I know it I am surrounded by visions of bare skin, lace, silk and Latex. Some of us remain in our heels, others wiggle their toes as the air hits them and there is at least one pair of adorable socks on show.

You are next on the list of things to do. Tugging on the d-rings of his harness to make your intentions known, as you settle down on one of the snuggle piles we’ve created, you direct his mouth to your cunt and he wastes no time beginning to administer pleasure. When your body begins to tremble and your hands turn to fists in his hair, you move away from him and I usher another woman into your seat. His eyes widen as he realises this might become a conveyor belt of oral sex. He shows no signs of worry though, he just licks, and sucks, his hands travelling across warm skin when permission is granted.

The moans of pleasure increase around the room, as women entwine with one another, and his fingers as well as tongue are called into action. With every moment that passes I can see him slipping deeper and deeper in subspace. His eyes shining, with that glazed look, his words muffled and low as his thoughts become increasingly more muddled. He looks to us for answers for every question he is asked.

As the latest woman to enjoy his attention spanks his bottom before wandering off to find herself some much needed hydration, I take the opportunity to take things to the next stage of our evening.

Part of our intricate planning involved every woman present bringing with her, or being provided with a strap-on to wear. Many of us willing to use them, some happy just to wear them. As I guide him to the piece of furniture we will be tying him too, his eyes dart around as each of us starts to step into, buckle up and stroke their strap-ons.

It is possible with the position he is in and the type of bondage bench we are using for him to both penetrate and be penetrated. As I stand between his spread thighs, you straddle his cock. As I watch him slide into you I feel like I could come from that image alone. Then he attempts to thrust, his movement hindered by the restraints. You lean forward and kiss him, and a moan escapes his mouth as you start to fuck him mercilessly. I finally stop perving over you both long enough to remember I should be doing something. With great satisfaction I draw a grumble from him as the lube feels cold against his arse, a grumble that turns to a groan of pleasure as I slide into him. We fall into an amazing rhythm, and my hands find your boobs and I as I peek around your torso I can see his eyes fixed on you as your movement brings him ever closer to climax. As we sense that moment looming, we both stop. He won’t come without permission, but taking him right to the edge, and then leaving him to fight his way back is most definitely part of our fun.

We takes turns in ushering women forward, his eyes fixed on them as they declare their intention to slide onto him or slide into him. He watches as new hands unwrap condoms, straining against his restraints when boobs and bums are aching to be grabbed. He does amazingly well as woman after woman fucks herself to climax with his cock, one decides she’d like to give him a blow job, while her new friend tries pegging for the first time. It is a joy to behold, and with unflinching honesty you whisper in my ear to ask if her blowjobs look better than yours. A few heads turn as I say louder than anticipated …

‘Remember; a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It simply blooms’

You laugh at my choice of moments to be philosophical, but you still squeeze my hand gently in silent thanks.

fb6318518f9516c69229a07e541a335bFinally our guests leave and we all snuggle together under a blanket, and we place matching kisses upon his face. In a very soft, but alluring whisper, you mention how he still hasn’t come yet. His cock twitches and he waits with bated breath to see if we will indulge him. Luckily for him you’re a voyeur too, and it has been a long time since you saw us fuck. For the first time tonight he’s ordered to make me come, and I do, as my tongue tastes you and your own gushing orgasm flows onto my face. Still he’s thrusting, breathless and mindless, and I wonder why he still hasn’t come, and I can’t help but giggle as I realise my own mistake.

‘Come for us slave.’

He does, spectacularly and we all collapse in a sweaty, messy heap.

Tonight we sleep. Tomorrow we reminisce.

#WickedWednesday, Bisexuality, Erotica, Nonmonogamy, Polyamory, Sex, Sexuality, Swinging

Erotica – Cool Shower

‘It’s too fucking hot. I’m going for beer, anyone coming with?’

‘Count me in.’

With that we were two men down, and it was just us girls keeping each other company. I hadn’t noticed just how sweltering the heat had become, until their departure had pulled my attention away from my almost coma like sunbathing. I become aware of the sweat dripping from my body, and as I look over at you, I realise I am not alone.

‘I think the boys are right, it is a tiny bit warm. I’m going to go and have a cool shower I think.’

You decide I am full of the best ideas, and we head to our shared room to make ourselves presentable before we all regroup for a late lunch.

I head straight for the shower when we enter the room, but your hand catches my wrist and you pull me towards the bed. I can’t help but giggle as I realise we will be getting dirtier before we get cleaner.

Our barely there bikinis, and lightweight sundresses are scattered in a trail leading to the bed, and our lips are locked together as we tumble onto the crisp white sheets, tangled together as our limbs entwined.

Your skin is sticky and dewy, from the combination of sun cream and sweat. When my mouth finds your nipples, you taste like salt, but goddamn it’s the sweetest salt I’ve ever tasted. The heat and the arousal is a heady combination, and I’m feeling spacey as our endeavours to please each other increase.

Your fingers are frenzied as they slide into me with ease, I can’t remember the last time I was this wet. The sunshine and relaxed environment has sent my sexual appetite through the roof. Thankfully I am not alone in this, and I have not one, but three people to satisfy my hunger. For now though it is just you and I. The boys didn’t know it yet, but they chose beer over boobs.

I can barely breathe as my orgasm closes in on me, once again we’ve forgotten to turn on the air conditioning, and the heat has become more and more oppressive as our physical activity has increased. My nails digging into your flesh actually provides some kind of relief as your moans straddle the line between pleasure and pain.

I can’t resist any longer, and my orgasm ricochets through me, bouncing off every cell I possess until my whole body is quivering with delight. We are not done though. Far from it. I flip you onto your back, and you smile widely, knowing that I’m a big fan of giving as good as I get, and I just got it pretty good.

My lips find yours and feel like I am being consumed by the need to ruin you. I want you trembling and begging, with bites marks strewn across your flesh and red welts showing exactly where my nails made their presence known.

Tearing myself away from kissing you isn’t easy, but it is aided by the knowledge of where my lips are travelling to. Slowly they make my way down your body, your breathing is ragged, and I can feel the rapid rise and fall of your chest as my hands alternate between gentle teasing and firm pinches to your nipples.

My teeth graze as I go lower, until they reach a favoured sweet spot and then I can feel your flesh firm in their grip. Your sharp intake of breath and murmurs of pain spurring me on, at this rate I’ll be the one coming again. Making you come is first on the list though, and my mouth finally reaches its destination and my tongue moves slowly from the bottom of your labia, gently flickering across your soft folds, until my mouth envelopes your clit.

You moan so fucking sweetly, and you taste like … like I am never going to able to tear my mouth from your hot, wet and addictive cunt. My tongue is buried as deep as it can go now, as you grind relentlessly against my face. I’m not sure I’m breathing, but I’m sure I don’t care. Your hands are in my hair, tight fists pulling me further into you, further denying me the chance of air. Fuck air though. Fuck everything. Because I can feeling your body tensing and clenching beneath me, and your words are beautifully depraved, as you lose yourself in a wave, or possibly a tsunami, of orgasmic feels.

My head falls against your soft thigh, as our fingers intertwine and we both burst into laughter. Sex adrenaline, extreme heat and slight lack of oxygen on my part combining for post orgasm hysteria. Just as we start to compose ourselves, the door clicks open …

‘What the hell did we miss?’

I look up to see our two extremely bemused partners following the trail of discarded clothing to their very naked and out of breath girlfriends.

‘A good time boys.’ I reply ‘’That’s what. But I’m sure we can have a repeat performance after lunch.’

‘We really should have a shower first though!’  

Your comment has me in in fits of giggles again, and the men are clearly baffled as to what is so funny about a shower. As their eyes fix first on each other, and then on us, I get the feeling that our shower will be postponed once more, and our late lunch might turn into an early dinner.

This piece was inspired by a flirty conversation with a friend and happened to coincide perfectly with the current Wicked Wednesday prompt of travel. Please do check out the other Wicked Wednesday submissions and give some love to the ones you like best. 

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#30DayOrgasmFun – Week 1

#30DayOrgasmFun – Week 1:

Orgasms received 2.

Orgasms given 1

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Find out more and see who else is getting involved.

It was with great excitement that I decided to take part in #30DayOrgasmFun. My overall feeling about masturbation is that it is a bit dull, for me. Even though I own all the sex toys and can now orgasm, which I couldn’t until I was 28, it just lacks lustre for me. I’m pretty sure I just haven’t explored enough though, that knowledge does not compel me to try more often though, or even to try new things when the urge does come over me.

For me getting involved in #30DayOrgasmFun was about encouragement. The thought of having a reason to carve time out for self pleasure was awesome. Then came a less awesome though … Easter holidays. For me this means very little alone time, and very little energy. Neither of which is handy when it comes to sexy alone time.

I have however managed two self love sessions. Which quite honestly, is not bad going for me in one week.

Orgasm 1 – Sunday

IMG_6615.JPGThis orgasm, like many others was courtesy of my Maison Vesta Kassandra Magic Wand. For those of you who are used to the power of a larger wand, this might not do the trick. As I am yet to get my hands on my dream Doxy though, smaller wands are what I have to hand. This is by far my favourite out of the selection of smaller wands I’ve tried. For its size and its price it really packs a punch. In a sexy way.

So me and Kassandra (the wand remember, not a sexy lady unfortunately) got down to business, and it was quick, but it was efficient and I actually felt pleased that I’d made the effort to get some kind of orgasmic delights on the go.

Orgasm 2 – Tuesday

1523266633951.jpegNow this one was a lot more interesting. I got a delightful box of goodies to test and review from Satisfyer.com, and this definitely inspired me to lube up, even though it was after a late shift at work. I’m a bit erratic when it comes to new toys, I tend to try them with a bit too much eagerness, and quite often that doesn’t give a good picture of them, but it will explain how I ended up masturbating with four toys in one session.

First up was the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit, which I’ve been really keen to try, and I1523265920441.jpeg think I will enjoy it, but I was finding it hard to relax into it. I think because it was new and we haven’t found our groove yet. Then Satisfyer Pro Traveler came out to play, which is frickin’ adorable, and pretty mighty for a small toy and it definitely played it’s part in making the orgasmic magic happen.

However, like I said, it was late and I was tired and I really just wanted the good fanny feels. So out came Kassandra again, this time though she has a friend with her. Oh yes, my Tracey Cox Glass Dildo (the clear one) came out to play. For some reason I haven’t use any of my glass dildos in a while, but recently I’ve taken to using them again and I have remembered why I have so many. They are unbelievably good at getting me off.

With Kassandra on my clit and Tracey Cox (the dildo, not the woman) rubbing against my g-spot I came good and proper. Like I really came, super hard. It. Was. So. Good.

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Orgasm 3 – Friday

This orgasm wasn’t mine, but it was my best one of the week. That is a statement that probably sheds a lot of light on why I don’t orgasm much. Making Bakji come isn’t more fun for me a lot of the time than coming myself. The thrill I get from our kink dynamic, and especially from FemDom, kind of outweighs the thrill I get from sexual pleasure, especially of the solo variety.

During this session I got to tease and torment, as well as engaging in one of my all time favourite sexual acts, handjobs. I bloody love giving handjobs, especially to Bakji because he is so wonderfully receptive to them.

We also took the Satisfyer Men (or penis wanker as I am calling it) for its first spin. It was definitely fun, but it couldn’t claim the orgasm, that was all mine.

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Now I am sure at least one person is wondering why I didn’t end up having a 3rd orgsm of my own seeing as how I had my partner right there, with his cock out and hard no less. The truth is I just don’t measure my pleasure in orgasms. It is totally cool if you do, it isn’t judgement on other people, it’s just how I work.

FemDom gives me an adrenaline rush and a mental and physical high that I do not get form sex in any way, shape or form. I love sex, I really do. It feels amazing and I love it when Bakji makes me come. Domination though, especially of Bakji, man that hits the spot. Like hardcore, body and mind satisfied.

So where does that leave me with taking part in #30DayOrgasmFun? I am still very much going to try and get a few more April orgasms under my belt. I have a few new things I’m going to try, and I have a sexy weekend session with Bakji, where we will have more time to get kinky than we did on Friday. So if he’s lucky I might let him help me out with an orgasm of my own. Or I might just make him come multiple times, I’m really quite happy to sate my orgasm needs in that way.

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Cuckolding. It’s Not Completely Cuckoo!

Cuckolding. Is It What You Think It Is?

The dictionary definition of a cuckold is, ‘the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision.’ In terms of cuckolding as a kink or Fetish there is a lot missing from that sentence to get a clear picture of why people enjoy cuckolding with the kink community.

I’m going to start with the term adulteress. Adultery is defined as extramarital sex that is objectionable on the grounds of social, religious, moral or legal grounds. In terms of consensual cuckolding as part of a kink lifestyle, I don’t think many people would identify themselves as an adulterer. While society may class any extramarital sex as adultery, when the sex in question is strengthening or adding to your marriage or long term relationship, it doesn’t really come under the same category as infidelity.

There are many branches of non-monogamy, some of which are more familiar overall than others, but all of which are misunderstood by anyone not well versed in them. Cuckolding is no different. Within the kink community anyone who is engaged with cuckolding, if doing it in a healthy manner, will have consent from all parties involved, boundaries and/or limits they adhere to and lots of communication.

There are as many ways to conduct a cuckolding relationship as there are people into it. It isn’t one size fits all and we shouldn’t assume everyone does it for the same reasons. Yes many men who identify as a cuckold will be into humiliation and that will be huge part of the dynamic with his partner, however many men will not engage in the humiliation element of cuckolding and their dynamic will focus on other aspects that cuckolding can encourage.

The paragraph above was very gender specific, which is something I normally try to avoid, but I specifically went there because when most people think of cuckolding they think of a cisgendered heterosexual man, whose wife or certainly female partner is cheating on him with another man or multiple men. As with most, if not all kinks though, cuckolding does not have to be, and is not gender specific. People can be into cuckolding no matter their gender, sexuality or kink identity.

If It Isn’t Always About Humiliation, What is It About?

Validation of Choices – Have you ever felt pleased when someone complimented you on a new purchase? Be that shoes or car. Knowing someone else is attracted to your partner can cause that same feeling. That isn’t to say that this kind of validation is needed for people to love or be attracted to their partner, but it can certainly enhance arousal.

Power Exchange – Being stripped of your ability to have input while your partner engages in sexual activity, while you not only get none for yourself but may also be ‘forced’ to watch as they fuck someone else can be an extremely arousing situation for some people. It is worth repeating that these kinds of dynamics need clear negotiation and explicit consent before being embarked upon.

Sexual Arousal – For many people it is arousing to see their partner or hear about their partner being sexual with another person. There will be no more or no less to it than that.

Exploration of Taboos – Exploring and experiencing things we have grown up being told are wrong can be a really powerful sexual motivator. Cuckolding lends itself well to many people exploring a lot of societal taboos.

Escapism – As with many kinks, engaging in cuckolding will be a way of letting go and escaping the everyday for many people. That isn’t to say there aren’t 24/7 lifestyle cuckolds, of course there are. There are probably more casual cuckolds though who simply enjoy it when they can to take a step away from daily grind for a while.

Chastity – Lots of men are into chastity. Not all of them are into cuckolding. However, for some men into chastity one of the things that makes being locked away even hotter is knowing that other penises are free to fuck the woman that owns their very locked up cock.

Humiliation – Why have I have saying it isn’t about humiliation only to go and say it is? Easy, because when people think of the humiliation aspect they often get it wrong. Erotic humiliation can be extremely arousing and powerful form of emotional masochism. To engage in humiliation in a healthy and constructive manner you need to have oodles of trust in your partner, great communication skills and a really good idea of what humiliation means to you. Humiliating your partner without their consent is just abuse, fucking someone else to humiliate your partner without their consent is cruel not kinky. Being able to embrace your desire to be humiliated takes a lot of strength and courage, so it doesn’t necessarily correlate with the usual assumption of a cuckold being weak.

Cuckold? Really? Can We Have Another Word?

The origin of the word cuckold comes from the Cuckoo* bird’s habit of laying its eggs in another birds nest, therefore the unwitting bird will raise offspring that is not its own. Originally being used to refer to men whose partners were deceiving them by sleeping with another man, or men who were unwittingly raising another man’s offspring. With means that it is a somewhat imprecise term for many people who are into cuckolding.

IMG_7318.JPGAlternatives are thin on the ground though, and probably don’t provide many better options. HotWife lifestyle is probably the only other descriptive that offers similar activities but without the associated negative connotations of its roots being in infidelity and humiliation. However I am well aware many people would not feel it is suitable for them, and I am neither supporting nor condemning it.

*Because disclaimers are all the rage I feel obliged to mention that not all species of Cuckoo do this. I do not want to offend any non-cuckolding Cuckoos or any Ornithologists.

When it comes to terminology, there are some options but again I don’t think they feel like the right fit for everyone. Especially if gender specific terms are not appropriate or wanted.

Cuckquean – Female variant of a cuckold

Bull – Man with whom a cuckold’s partner is having sex

Cuckcake – Woman with whom a cuckqueans partner is having sex

What if you are the partner who is free to enjoy sexual encounters while your cuckold stays home or watches the fun in some cases? You may be a CuckQueen (note this is different to cuckquean), Cuckoldress or HotWife. Interestingly male versions of these terms do not seem to exist, so make of that what you will.

Surely If The Terms Don’t Fit Your Kink Is Something Else?

Yes and no. There is a specific element of cuckolding that you don’t get with other branches of non-monogamy or kink. While your partner is fucking someone else, you aren’t. You’re not fucking them and you’re not fucking anyone else either. Maybe you’re watching, maybe you’re sat at home alone or maybe you’re at work knowing your partner is getting their kicks anywhere but with you. Why someone is turned on or content with that might vary, but the specific nature of cuckolding means that you are not providing the sexual pleasure.

Perhaps if we saw more positive and honest examples of this particular kink we would be able to move away from the negative and sometimes incorrect assumptions that usually come with it.

Floss Is Wrong and She’s Ruining My Life

Wow! Sucks to be you then.

On a more serious note I realise that for people who live this lifestyle I may not be supporting the truths of how they view cuckolding and what that means to them. Unfortunately though no matter who you are or what your kink is, it is going to evolve and cuckolding is no different.

It is evolving and as such demanding people do it in one particular way is going to achieve nothing. The ‘one true way’ BDSM folk are dwindling, though still existing I grant you that, because their reluctance to accept new and/or alternative ideas makes them seem unpleasant and elitist.

Surely someone understanding, supporting and embracing something even if only from time to time is better than them having no outlet for their desires and being unfulfilled.

Before, during and after I wrote this I perused cuckolding forums and cuckolding groups on Fetlife and Reddit to ensure I wasn’t making any absolutely absurd claims. I do not want to misrepresent anyone, and I do not speak for the entire kink community on this blog, what I do want to do though is challenge people’s assumptions of a wide variety of kinks and try to encourage more acceptance of not only kink in general, but for kinks that may not be our own.

My blog mainly reaches people who are new to kink and are looking to learn and as such I try present my information in a way that is supportive, non-judgemental; and will hopefully give people a starting point for what may or may not be their kink. For that reason it may not match your own experience if you have been in the lifestyle for a long time.