Category: Self Expression

Wicked Women

I love women. Well I love all genders, but this post is specifically about women. But I promise I’m not leaving the rest of you out. You will get your post another day.

IMG_9080.JPGGrowing up I really struggled to make friends with or maintain friendships with other girls. There was always an underlying feeling of competition and bitchiness that I found very hard and had no desire to participate in. When I joined the kink scene it was with the same level of hesitancy about forming female friendships.

When it comes to kink, the friendships I have formed have been far more intimate and rewarding than any non-kink friendship I have ever had. I have friends I play with, from chaste kisses to full sex, both may or may not be accompanied by all manner of kinky joys. While to the non-kink world these encounters would move things from friendship into something else, for me this is what friendship sometimes looks like within the kink community. 

When I began exploring non-monogamy I was a little bit unsure of how I would fit in. As an onlooker to other people’s dynamics and as a sometimes unicorn in other people’s dynamics, I started to form a very fixed view … ‘I need to be open to friendships with the women who I might encounter as metamours.’

Unicorn: Single, bisexual female who is willing to be involved with both members of an existing couple.

As a non-monogamous person, as opposed to an actively poly person, metamour might not be the best word for me to use, it is however shorter than saying ‘my sexy friend’s other sexy, but potentially more casual friend/s’, so we are going to use metamour for the duration of this article.

I have spoken briefly of the fact that in the early days of our relationship Bakji had a non-monogamous adventure that was hard for me in many ways. In hindsight and with a lot more knowledge about what I need from non-monogamy, I know that a good chunk of my issues stemmed from the lack of friendship between she and I.

At one point a mutual friend stated that it was because the other lady in question was ‘intimidated by me’. Okay fair enough, I was willing to work with that information and did my best at an event to start a conversation and try to build some kind of friendship with her. To be clear, she was straight, and I was not trying to find my way into their dynamic. I just wanted to know her a little bit. What she liked, what her hopes for the future were, who she was a person. 

I unfortunately formed some heavy judgement about her when she rebuffed my attempts at friendship. Even now, I don’t doubt that she was probably a lovely person, after all Bakji has pretty good taste, but I cannot get over the fact she was so willing to quite literally leave her marks on Bakji, while being intimidated by me, but could not find her way to even have a vaguely friendly conversation with me.

Metamour: The partner of one’s partner, with whom one does not share a direct sexual or loving relationship.

I understand that even within polyamory, where feelings are often more developed and longer term, that some people do choose not to be close friends with their metamours and I place no judgement on those people. For me though, for my personal sanity and the way I am as a person, I need that friendship. We don’t have to be BFF’s and we don’t have to play together. I do however expect us to exchange pleasantries and be up front with each other about fancying the pants of the same person.

I had started to think I was alone in this. That the kind of relationship I wanted with a metamour was out of reach. Even in dynamics where this appears to be present, I have seen the underlying feelings definitely be something other than friendship. I don’t want to compete, or be scheming against someone.

Then we made new friends, and I met women who were like me. Women who seem to embrace other women and want to build them up. Some of the women I know in real life, some of these women I only speak to online. All of them I have oodles of love and respect for.

We have since the Autumn of last year been getting our non-monogamy on a little bit more and there have been so many moments that have made me smile both inwardly and outwardly, because it feels like I am finally meeting women who feel the same as me. Who don’t want to sneak around trying to woo Bakji, but are willing to be open and honest. Which is brilliant for me because then I get to tease him about it, and then is a huge thrill for me in our dynamic.

We currently aren’t looking towards polyamory, but as I keep saying to Bakji, never say never. If that day does come though I want the fact that there is two of us to be an asset to someone, not an issue. Even if it is someone I am not intimately involved with myself, I want her to know my door is always open, for questions, for worries, for sharing happy moments. Again that might not work for everyone, but I would extend that kindness to anyone I am friends with. To not offer to someone my partner was involved with seems baffling to me.

I mentioned women I had encountered online only and they are the ladies I’d like to talkIMG_9079.JPG about next. Through getting involved in memes like Masturbation Monday, Wicked Wednesday and Sinful Sunday I have connected with so many wonderful people. I also have Twitter and Instagram to thank for helping me discover a whole host of awesomeness.

One of the things that struck me about the online sex and kink blogging communities is the huge amount of support that is offered to new writers, or new photographers as it is for Sinful Sunday. Now I will state that throughout all those memes the support comes from all genders. It was the interaction between other women that struck a chord with me though. Purely because it is so far removed from the experiences with women I had growing up.

I feel so lucky to have connected with people who are so committed to building up other people instead of tearing them down and it gives me faith in humanity and hope for future friendship building to know that ladies with a similar mindset to mine do exist. Women who want to encourage, support and create meaningful connections with other women without secretly trying to be their undoing.

I don’t want to name and cause blushes to anyone specific, in part because privacy is a thing, and also because I’m bound to forget someone. If you’re a participant of any of the memes I mentioned then I mean you, if you run those memes, I definitely mean you. If I follow you on Twitter and like your tweets, I mean you. If we’re Instagram pals and I’ve liked or commented on any of your pictures I mean you. If I like or comment on your blog posts I mean you. If I know you in real life and we’ve been on adventures together, I mean you. If I’ve frolicked gleefully with your boobs and smooched your face I mean you. If we’ve Whatsapped each other this week about sexy things, then I definitely mean you. To all the women who are in my life, this means you.

You are all wonderful and I think each and everyone of you is delightful. Thank you for your continued inspiration and support.

For those of you who don’t identify as female you are also fabulous and your support and inspiration is also valued, and I hope this blog post is received in the spirit it was intended. Not to exclude or berate other genders, but but to celebrate the beauty and spirit of friendship between women.


I am sharing this as part of Wicked Wednesday, please follow the link below to see who else is being Wicked this Wednesday and show some love for their work.

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Who else is being Wicked this Wednesday?

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to BuyMeACoffee.

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#SinfulSunday – Baring All

Hi I’m Floss. I take nude photos and sell them for money and I have no shame or regret over doing so.

I find nudes boring as hell to take, the only thing that makes them worth doing is the money.

Recently though I took one that I actually looked at and I really loved it. Which I don’t normally. Not because I particularly dislike my nude body, but more because I just find my own nudity a little dull.

The image below though seems far from dull and I decided that means it must be perfect to share with you guys for Sinful Sunday …

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Every week there are so many amazing images in the Sinful Sunday link up, please do click on the link below the lips to check them out. Consider getting involved too, it is a such a wonderful community and I think we all find something we never expected to when we get involved, who knows what awesome thing that might be for you.

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

 

 

#SinfulSunday: There Is Pleasure …

There is pleasure
In his pain
In his willingness
To submit
To the whims
Of a Sadist

There is pleasure
In the raw
Red
Welts
Of my desire
That shine so brightly
Upon his flesh

Continue reading “#SinfulSunday: There Is Pleasure …”

Do Feet Make You Frisky?

Feet? As a kink, you know what they say ‘your kink is not my kink and that’s okay’. Feet are icky, don’t touch mine. In fact don’t even think about touching them. Touch your feet? Hell no! Feet are not sexy.

-Quote from a very clueless me!

IMG_7947When I started my journey in FemDom it was fairly early on that I noticed a shift when it came to my viewpoint on foot fetishism.  Suddenly I noticed that actually having Bakji kiss my feet would be awesome. FemDom makes me feel like I am the Queen of everything and what Queen doesn’t deserve to have her feet kissed and massaged and generally fawned over at all times.

Continue reading “Do Feet Make You Frisky?”

The Cone of Shame is Fun with Friends

For last weeks Wicked Wednesday I wrote a piece of erotica, ‘Cool Shower- Part 2‘ that contained humiliation as its main theme and a little while back I wrote ‘(Super Sexy) Thoughts on Erotic Humiliation’, and recently it is a kink that I have been thinking about more and more and I would really love to share some of my developing thoughts with you all.

It is no secret to anyone who has read my blog posts on non-monogamy that it has been a work in progress sorting through my feelings on it. One of the feelings I struggled with the most was that ‘bleurgh’ feeling in the pit of my stomach when I tried to visualise Bakji with another lady. I honestly thought this was one of those things I had to just put up with if I wanted to be non-monogamous.

Continue reading “The Cone of Shame is Fun with Friends”

#SinfulSunday: His T-Shirt

His T-Shirt

I wonder if you can feel me
As I breathe you in
As your scent emanates
From soft folds of fabric
Lying against my skin

Continue reading “#SinfulSunday: His T-Shirt”

#SinfulSunday: Advice From a Rainbow

Advice From a Rainbow 

Live a Colourful Live

Be an Inspiration

Bring Unexpected Joy

See Beauty in Life’s Curves

Be Someone to Look Up To

Live in the Moment

Reflect your True Nature

Unknown

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I don’t have any advice that is better than that of a rainbow. Seriously that advice is pretty much how I try and live my life. I do however have some thoughts on being yourself, sharing your true and awesome colours and shining bright and beautiful in your own unique way.

I believe that confidence is sexy.

Sometimes for me confidence is glitter, My Little Pony, tutus and rainbows.

I also believe that I am a kick ass FemDom and I have seen too many women say they can’t be the same because ‘they don’t fit the type‘!

Oh hell no!

You can be anything you want to be and don’t let the haters and the ‘one true way’ brigade tell you otherwise.

What I really want to be is a My Little Pony.

And nobody is gonna stop me!


This post was inspired by Sinful Sunday Please do visit the other submissions and show you appreciation with a like or a comment.

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?