Category: rope bondage

Episode 44: Rope Bottoming with Evie Vane

Find out more about #ProudToBeKinky and listen below on the Soundcloud player, you can also find us on most available podcast apps. 


Shibari is something we might have mentioned once or twice before on the podcast and because there are so many different voices to hear on it we are revisiting it again. This time with the lovely Evie Vane, a rope bottom who has written two books The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up and Better Bondage for Every Body.

Evie has been into rope for about 7 years and in that time has gathered lots of experience and information that she is now sharing with other people. It can be easy to talk yourself out of giving rope a try, it can seem very technical and often the images we see of rope bottoms in rope do not always feel relatable for some people. Evie’s latest book definitely supports the notion that rope can be for everyone.

Shibari does have many ties that you can learn step by step, there’s knots and frictions and wraps, and unfamiliar names for many things, essentially though what many of us are learning and seeking is a connection with our rope partner. That partner might be someone we will only tie once, or it might be our romantic or sexual partner, either way the connection and feelings we can explore through rope are vast.

We ask Evie what her advice would be for anyone looking to explore rope, so if you’re sat at home and you still haven’t found the encouragement you need to get out there and try rope in some way, then perhaps Evie’s episode can be the push you need. We also discuss what you can do if you’re already a bottom but feel like there are areas you would like to work on, for example flexibility or stamina.

If there any aspect of rope we haven’t covered yet that you would like to hear us discuss then please email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also get in touch on any of our social media platforms, Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook.

You can also find Evie on social media too, her links are as follows:

Evie’s Website – ropebottoming.com

Evie Vane on Facebook

Evie Vane on Fetlife

Evie’s Books on Amazon

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, if you’d like to listen to our fellow network shows they are Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Drinks with God, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio.

Episode 42: Anna Bones From Anatomie Studio

Anatomie Studios are the focus of this week’s episode as we talk to Anna Bones, who opened and runs Anatomie, the U.K’s only full time rope studio. Open since June 2015, Anatomie has gone from strength to strength and provides a safe and welcoming environment for people to learn and practice their Shibari skills.

We ask Anna how she started her own journey into discovering Shibari, and how that led to the opening of Anatomie. We have spoken about Anatomie before in previous episodes but it was wonderful to hear about it in Anna’s own words, from initial vision to eventual reality.

There are a variety of sessions available at Anatomie, some are geared towards learning, some towards practice and some are neither of the two. I will let you listen in to hear Anna discuss the various things you can discover at Anatomie.

We discuss the value in joining your local rope community, and what you can gain from learning from both people like Anna and her partner Fred Hatt who offer tuition at Anatomie and also from peers. There are also a myriad of wonderful Riggers out there who offer rope tutorial workshops, many of which can be found at Anatomie.

Nearly everyone has some preconceptions about rope before they try it, we talk through what some of these are and the pleasant surprises you get once you actually join the rope community. Some of these include the tactile and wonderful nature of the rope itself, and also the reasons behind why many of us do rope.

Anatomie Studio have been accepted into the Peckham Festival, happening 14th – 17th September 2017, which gives us a chance to discuss how Anna and Fred are received when they take Shibari into the world of non-kinky folk. They have also done rope for music videos and art projects.

There is so much more in our discussion with Anna, and so much to discover at Anatomie Studio if you are able to visit. If however you’re not able to visit Anatomie please do get in touch with you local rope community if you are keen to get into Shibari and meet friend who are also rope fans.

You can find Anatomie Studio in the following places:

https://anatomiestudio.com/

https://twitter.com/AnatomieStudio

https://www.instagram.com/anatomiestudiolondon/

https://www.peckhamfestival.org/

https://fetlife.com/users/4595864

Finding Your Local Community

N.B: This blog post was inspired an email from the Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s. If you haven’t listened to their podcast yet please do so, you can also check out the website for great resources and links on how to listen or follow on social media.


We’ve come to another subject about which I’m fairly passionate. Which is probably obvious from the fact I help host a podcast about the social and interpersonal side of kink. Myself and Bakji have probably lost count of how many times we’ve recommended people go to their local munch, or rope group or find their way to a Fetish event.

While I understand joining the local community isn’t for everyone, it is definitely the beginning of something amazing for many people, and for that reason if you are even a tiny bit curious about your local scene, I urge you to give it a try. It honestly could be the best thing you ever do.

While it isn’t perfect, thankfully Fetlife is actually quite wonderful for finding your local community. By clicking ‘Events’ on the Fetlife menu, you can select ‘Events Near Me’ and ‘Events Friends Have RSVP’s To’. Provided you have selected your actual location as your Fetlife location you will be given a lovely list of local events.

One of the reasons I initially decided to go to local kink social is because I was starting over in life. It had been 10 years since I’d been single, I’d had two disastrous encounters with individuals from Fetlife, and I really wanted more out of my fresh beginning. I decided that what I needed was friends. Yes a partner would be wonderful, but what I was initially seeking was friendship and the chance to learn about kink in general and kink on a personal level.

I was very lucky that at my very first social event, which was a lock-in at our local sex shop I met CheshireCat_MMH. This led to many wonderful interactions with a variety of awesome people, many friendships were formed, and I am pleased to say the majority of them are still in place to this day. Most wonderfully of all through that group of friends I met Bakji.

There are so many wonderful things and lovely people I wouldn’t have in my life if I hadn’t decided to find my local community.

Some of the common questions I see or get asked about the local kink/rope community, that are perhaps preventing people from going are:

  • Can we go as a monogamous couple? Is there really any point if you’re not looking for a partner?
    • Absolutely. Munches are brilliant for connecting with like-minded people, learning about new things and generally feeling free to be yourself. Yes it is a good place to go to make connection that might turn to more than platonic friendship, but it isn’t the be all and end all of the function of a munch.
  • I haven’t got anyone to tie  or tie me can I still go to the local rope event?
    • Unless otherwise stated (as it might be for workshops), then yes, you can certainly go along without a rope bottom to tie, or without a rope top to tie you. Often group organisers can facilitate bringing people together to discuss potentially tying together, but there’s actually a lot you can learn by tying yourself. Alongside learning rope skills you can also socialise and meet new people.
  • My age/body type/gender identity/physical abilities/specific kink might mean I won’t be welcome.
    • Hell No! Sadly I’m sure there some shitty communities, but most and I hope it is the vast majority are really inclusive. And yes this counts for rope too. With a little bit of understanding and the desire to work together almost anyone can have an awesome rope experience. I say almost because I’m sure there some factors that mean someone can’t do rope play but overall most of us can.
  • I want to go to a Fetish event but I don’t own the right kind of outfit.
    • Yes you do. Honestly most people will have something in their wardrobe that they can fashion into a suitable outfit for a Fetish event. It is not the terrifying ordeal it seems like it might be. We actually did a whole podcast episode on this very subject as we felt so passionately about it not holding people back.
  • I want to go to a munch but I’m shy/anxious/socially awkward.
    • Then you will fit right in. Don’t for one minute kid yourself that everyone in the kink community is super confident with their shit together. The truth is we are just regular, everyday folk and we all come with our own insecurities, personal issues and idiocies. You know what though? That makes us a really interesting bunch and a fairly understanding bunch too. If you are particularly worried then get in touch with the event organiser beforehand and they can meet you at the door and be sure to introduce you to some people, so you aren’t left to your own devices.

Many people find the kink community and never leave, I personally don’t get to as many munches as I’d like to, but I get to far more Fetish events. Some people spend a good chunk of time in the community until they meet a partner and then they might not feel they need the local community any more. Other people might flit it and out, as and when for as long as they have an interest in kink. All of these approaches are valid.

It’s definitely okay to know that the local scene isn’t for you. If you have a kinky parner and you enjoy doing your own thing at home, that’s absolutely a valid way to kink. If you’ve ever been curious about your local community though and have constantly talked yourself out of going, stop, right now and give it a go. If it’s rubbish, you need never return. If it’s awesome though, you might just have the best time of your life.


You can read more posts about my thoughts on munches and experiences in the scene in the following posts:

 

 

 

 

Episode 38: Lee Harrington Talks Gender, Shibari, Kink & Much More

Lee Harrington is our guest this week, and if for some reason this is your first time listening to Lee speak you are in for a treat. Not only is he a friendly and extremely likeable person, he is also knowledgeable about so many topics it’s hard to know what to ask him about first.

Having perused some of the wealth of resources Lee has to offer, 10 books to date, educational classes, podcasts (both his own and guest spots on other people’s), a blog, plus a presence on various social media platforms. We asked Lee what inspires him to carry out the work he does and the answer in itself is inspiring.

As you know myself and Bakji are relatively new to the kink scene, hence why we don’t class ourselves as educators when it comes to the podcast, we are just two people who are keen to share our experiences in the hope they might resonate with other people and give them support and encouragement where needed in terms of embracing either their local scene, their kinks or perhaps both. Less however has got two decades worth of experience of the kink scene under his belt. So we ask him how he came to discover his kinky side and what brought him into the kink community.

Our previous episode that addressed the topic of gender, ‘Episode 30 – Cross-Dressing and Being GenderFluid’ was a huge success. So we wanted to take some time to talk to Lee about this. As someone who openly discusses his own journey with gender, his insight and thoughts on gender identity are both educational and thought provoking. I challenge anyone who thinks they know about gender, or the issues some people face in relation to their gender to listen to Lee and not learn something.

We also talk about the crazy rude questions people often ask, relating to both gender and sexuality and how those questions are best navigated. This also leads us to discuss what constitutes sex, how opinions on this can vary and that knowing your partners view on this can be of great importance.

Floss gets herself flustered again when we talk about the bathroom bill that is being proposed in Lee’s current home state of Alaska. In which people will be required to use the bathroom of the gendered assigned on their birth certificate, regardless of how they are currently presenting. Lee was actually heading straight to protest for this right after we spoke with him.

It would be remiss of us to have Lee on without asking him about rope. As someone who has been tying long before there were online tutorials and a rope gathering in every city. We are thoroughly spoilt now with the amount of information we can obtain when it comes to Shibari, and it’s people like Lee that we have to thank for that. People who painstakingly reverse engineered ties and made connections with other people across the world who could impart their wisdom also.

If you would like to know more about Lee you can find him at passionandsoul.com, through there you can read his blog posts and check out what other podcasts you can listen to him on. His chat with our sister podcast Off The Cuffs turned into a two parter and is well worth a listen.

As well as Off The Cuffs, we are also joined in the Podcast Jukebox Network by the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. You can find all of us on most podcast apps. You can also find us all on a variety of social media platforms, including our new Podcast Jukebox Facebook group.

If you have any comments on this episode or the podcast in general you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com, or get in touch on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook. You can also check us out on Patreon, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, home of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun.

 

Episode 37 – Kinky Nostalgia

Kinky nostalgia is this weeks topic as Bakji and I take a walk down memory lane and discuss some of our favourite kinky scenes. Though we each suffer from what we call ‘kink amnesia’, so remembering the exact details seems to be a little tricky. Key moments seem to stick with us though, so those are the topic of discussion.

We discuss our varying experiences with early adventures into obtaining and exploring pornography. While one of us was content with movies and tv that had sexy scenes in, the other person rooted through bins and skips to obtain such things. There’s also talk of floppy disks containing jpegs and dial up internet. I really don’t think the youth of today realise how lucky wireless internet makes them.

First sex toys make an appearance too. Well an appearance in the conversation, not a physical appearance. Due to the fact that the first sex toy I ever bought ended up being a recalled item that had some very dubious issues, I no longer have that in my possession. Bakji tells a very sad story about the very first sex toy he ordered, the words sucks, strokes and masturbate are said a lot.

This is a little bit of an indulgent episode, mostly to celebrate the birthday of Bakji, also it is a good chance to give our listeners a little bit of an insight into what it is that we love to do together that encourages us to do the podcast. For us this podcast is about getting other people connected with like minded friends and/or partner/s to enjoy their own kinky times with.

We focus on the physical side of things a fair bit in this episode, and also in the episodes of FemDom and Fetish Fun that we do. We wouldn’t enjoy any of those things half as much though without the foundation of friendship and the emotional connection that strengthened with lots of getting to know each other. Which is why we encourage people to make friends of all kinds, sexy friends, platonic friends, rope friends and one of our favourites podcasting friends. Those podcasting people are awesome.

Speaking of podcasting friends. Please do head over to the Podcast Jukebox Network, we have accounts on Twitter and Facebook, so you can follow what #ProudToBeKinky has going on without publicly liking a kink page/account. Other podcast included in the network are Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast, Parking Lot Radio and Drinks with God. They are all awesome podcasts so do swing by and give them a listen.

If you have no issues with liking a kink account, then follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Fetlife. There are links on all the #ProudToBeKinky pages for our personal accounts you are also more than welcome to follow us there too. Feel free to give us a tweet/comment to let us know you are listener following and we will give you a big virtual hug.

You can also head over to our Patreon site www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, and check out what kind of rewards our Patrons are getting. Currently the most exciting of which is our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. Currently three episodes are available with many more to come. Floss also does weekly Patron only blog posts that give a round-up of our weekends and information on what guests we have coming up.

Episode 33: Sophia.Shibari Discusses Rope Modelling & the Rope Community

Shibari is back! We know we may have mentioned it once or twice before, however we have got a wonderful guest in the lovely Sophia.Shibari who is an all round rope enthusiast. We have been long time followers of her Instagram account, and when we saw her perform a self suspension at the SlapStick Club (listen to episode 23 for more on that) we decided to reach out and see if she would like to come and chat with us, and to our delight she said yes.

Sophia is not only a rope model, but also a rigger, she also teaches and facilitates rope jams at Anatomie Studio in London. Which if you ever get a chance to go to is well worth a visit. Anatomie Studio is a dedicated rope space, that not only offer tuition in rope, but also a wide range of other classes and opportunities. We do discuss this lots more within this episode.

We talk to Sophia about what led her to joining the rope community, and as is often the case we end up discussing why we love it here at #ProudToBeKinky. We make a great case for how awesome the rope scene is and why anyone who is curious about rope should definitely give it a try.

Floss marvels at how effortless Sophia makes self-suspension look and she tells us a little bit about her self-suspension performances, and how she finds the experience of tying herself. We also delve into how she got into the rigging side of rope, and how she developed the skills she has honed so beautifully.

On the practical side of things we ask Sophia the following things:

  • What is her advice for anyone wanting to get into Shibari?
  • What conversations should people be having before they tie together?
  • What are her favourites ties as a rope model?

As always you can reach us on hello@proudtobekinky.com if you have any comments on this episode, or any queries about the podcast or kink in general. Don’t forget you can also follow us on Instagram. Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. We love hearing from people who are listening so please do reach out if you are a listener following us on any of these platforms.

You can also check us out on Patreon, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky. As if is an NSFW account you will need to follow the link to find us, we won’t show up in a Patreon search. Our new spin-off podcast ‘FemDom and Fetish Fun’ is going to be a Patron only reward as of episode 2, Floss is now sharing weekly Patron only posts and we are currently conspiring to come up with lots more awesome rewards.

Don’t forget to check out our sister podcasts from the Podcast Jukebox Network, Off The Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and our new addition Drinks With God. You’re probably sick of me saying but if you’re listening on iTunes (Apple Podcast App) please do leave a review, they make a huge difference to whether or not some people will be willing to take a punt on a new podcast.

Happy Kinky New Year!

Happy New Year to all you lovely folk who come and read my blog, which quite honestly was far more people than I could ever have hoped for and I can’t wait for 2017 to get into full swing, because more blogging is definitely on my to-do list.

This New Year’s Day is not an overly active one, while New Year’s Eve was a sober one, kinky fun and good company was the excitement this year, getting through the door at 8am does leave one feeling a little tired! That is however the price we pay for partying in a city a good few hours away from us. As always though it was totally worth it.

In a few blog posts now, and on #ProudToBeKinky if you’ve been listening (if you haven’t been listening, why not? Go and do so now it’s amazing) you will have noticed myself and Bakji saying again and again that you should go to munches and fetish events. This New Year is proof that doing those things pay off.

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Practicing my hip harness on Bakji & his rubbery bum on New Years Eve

If I hadn’t have gone to a munch, I never would have met the gorgeous Bakji and if we hadn’t have braved going to a new event in London then we never would have met the fab new friends that we saw the New Year in with. I know going as a couple or with friends to these things is easier in some ways, but it’s still nerve wracking. We did it though and it definitely paid off.

At the event we went to there were quite a few couples, but also lots of single people too. All of them having a damn good socialise and making lots of new friends. So if any of you were sat at home wishing you could have been having a good old fetishy knees up for New Year, get your diary out and pencil something in for New Years Eve 2017 and spend all year up until then getting out and about making lots of new friends to invite you to lots of fun parties and events.

I am wishing you all the very best for 2017, and I hope you all stick to whatever new year’s resolutions you’ve made. Mine are:

  • To learn more Shibari, including suspensions, so I can get Bakji’s bum in the air
  • img_0699
    New Year’s Resolutions

    To drink more water & fill my body with more nourishing foods

  • Moisturise more, my poor skin is not as hydrated as it once was
  • Pamper my feet more, killer heels are fab, but they take their toll
  • I’ve also decided to send Bakji a bum selfie everyday of 2017, I expect the results of that will be available on Instagram should you wish to follow how creative it gets

I had a brilliant 2016 and have every hopes for 2017 being even better. I will be back later in the week with my ‘Look Back Over 2016’ blog post.