Category: Fetish

FemDom Friday: Be Prepared for Top Drop

For any newbie kinkster starting to explore BDSM the topic of sub drop comes up fairly quickly. Whenever I write about drop it is always in a generic sense. It is not only submissives that can get drop, anyone engaging in any kinds of BDSM activities leaves themselves open to dropping afterwards. The reason is simple, what goes up, must come down.

When we engage in kink activities it can often feel euphoric, we can space out, fly high and when the fun stops, especially without proper aftercare we can come crashing back to reality with a bang. Tops are not exempt from this.

When I started engaging in FemDom with Bakji I got a bigger rush than I perhaps ever did with subbing. I love the headspace it takes me too, and our dynamic means I push myself as Top further and further as my experience as a Top progresses. I hadn’t experienced sub drop for a fair while when I started Topping, so I naively wasn’t prepared to drop as hard as I did.

It was actually Bakji that pointed it out to me, and we made a plan together to try and alleviate or with any luck avoid drop. This is where good aftercare comes in, and lucky for me I have a partner who is committed to making my aftercare as entertaining as possible! Laughter is a great source of aftercare in my opinion.

What drop looks like can be different for everyone. For me though my drop manifests in the same way whether it’s from bottoming or Topping.

Feeling Blue – Sometimes after a scene I can just feel a little bit sad & tearful and sometimes that can feel a bit confusing and overwhelming, especially when you really enjoyed your scene.

Feeling Tired – This is especially true of my Top Drop. I use so much energy and focus when I’m Topping that afterwards I feel like I’ve got no energy left to give and all I want to do is snooze.

Feeling Insecure – I’ve often noticed that even though we’ve just enjoyed an incredible level of intimacy that the days post kink are when my insecurities are most like to surface. Not insecurities about the scene or my abilities as a Top necessarily, but just overall wobbles about myself.

The ‘One True Way Dominants’ will probably declare that this mean I’m not a proper Dominant, and to them I say; ‘Screw You Asshole!’ I refuse to perpetuate the myth that drop is any kind of weakness or an indication that you are not a ‘True Dom’.

Drop may be an indication of your aftercare needing tweaking. It can also be a sign of your scene being more intense than usual, or perhaps you’ve had a long day and you’re feeling more tired than normal. Maybe there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it and that’s okay too. Drop isn’t an indicator that you’re doing kink wrong, it is however a gentle reminder to nurture good aftercare practices, whether that is with a partner or on your own.

Half the battle with drop is being aware of it and accepting it might happen to you. Even if you’re the Domliest Dom from Planet Uber Dom, it is still okay to get drop and open up about it. People still ask on a regular basis is Top Drop is a thing, the more we talk about it the less likely it is to perceived as a wrong-doing or deficiency on the Tops part.


You can hear more of my thoughts on FemDom and Kink by tuning in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife.

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#SinfulSunday – Where He Belongs

Ownership isn’t part of the dynamic I have with Bakji, as intense as it is our kink dynamic is fairly casual and is only in place during a scene. During those scenes though he is all Mine and by that token I can do as I wish with him, and that is truly wonderful. This weekend we had two amazing scenes and I feel like this picture I took not only encapsulates this weeks prompt of ‘underneath’ but highlights a lot of what I love about our kinky sessions.

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Underneath Me. Beneath Me. Branded. With Blood. 

Sinful Sunday is all about the image, and the lovely people who join in create some outstanding photos, so please do take the time to visit more of the entries. I’m sure they would all appreciate some likes and comments if you really enjoyed their piece. Click the link below the lips to find this weeks link up. 

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to BuyMeACoffee.

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Naughty Kitten

I’m not invited into Daddy’s bed tonight. The four poster I am frequently tied to, as flowing drapes hide us from the world. My misdemeanours mean I am to remain on the outside while Daddy entertains our guest.

To start of their evening, dinner was cooked and served by me. Impressed with the dishes I prepared for them Daddy places some kitten treats in my bowl. As always it was placed under the table at Daddy’s feet, when I am finished I rest my head against his lap and wait for further instruction.

Continue reading “Naughty Kitten”

#SinfulSunday: There Is Pleasure …

There is pleasure
In his pain
In his willingness
To submit
To the whims
Of a Sadist

There is pleasure
In the raw
Red
Welts
Of my desire
That shine so brightly
Upon his flesh

Continue reading “#SinfulSunday: There Is Pleasure …”

Do Feet Make You Frisky?

Feet? As a kink, you know what they say ‘your kink is not my kink and that’s okay’. Feet are icky, don’t touch mine. In fact don’t even think about touching them. Touch your feet? Hell no! Feet are not sexy.

-Quote from a very clueless me!

IMG_7947When I started my journey in FemDom it was fairly early on that I noticed a shift when it came to my viewpoint on foot fetishism.  Suddenly I noticed that actually having Bakji kiss my feet would be awesome. FemDom makes me feel like I am the Queen of everything and what Queen doesn’t deserve to have her feet kissed and massaged and generally fawned over at all times.

Continue reading “Do Feet Make You Frisky?”

The Cone of Shame is Fun with Friends

For last weeks Wicked Wednesday I wrote a piece of erotica, ‘Cool Shower- Part 2‘ that contained humiliation as its main theme and a little while back I wrote ‘(Super Sexy) Thoughts on Erotic Humiliation’, and recently it is a kink that I have been thinking about more and more and I would really love to share some of my developing thoughts with you all.

It is no secret to anyone who has read my blog posts on non-monogamy that it has been a work in progress sorting through my feelings on it. One of the feelings I struggled with the most was that ‘bleurgh’ feeling in the pit of my stomach when I tried to visualise Bakji with another lady. I honestly thought this was one of those things I had to just put up with if I wanted to be non-monogamous.

Continue reading “The Cone of Shame is Fun with Friends”

Erotica – Cool Shower – Part 2

A follow on from last weeks Wicked Wednesday piece Cool Shower.

Content Warning: Humiliation and degradation.


‘So … Together or apart?

‘Apart. They’ve enjoyed each other too much today. Time to separate them.’

At our attempts to get on with showering and preparing for lunch, their hands rose into a stop motion and the words ‘don’t you dare move’ were uttered. We both sat motionless on the bed, as the atmosphere in the room shifted.

‘Which one do you want?’

‘Well mine needs a shower, she’s filthy and some punishment for fucking yours. So you take her.’

Continue reading “Erotica – Cool Shower – Part 2”