Category: Female Led Relationships

Erotica – Just Like a Lamb

He is such a good boy. Waiting. Patiently.

He looks fucking glorious, and he is glorious to fuck. Collar on, he kneels in the centre of the room. You arrive first as planned and we continue to adorn him with his accessories of submission. Ankle and wrist cuffs, his harness and for the time being a blindfold and a gag.

Our eyes meet as we stand either side of him and I’m compelled to touch you. The collusion in planning this for him has brought us closer together. I am delighted to find you are as wet as I am as my hand reaches under your skirt. My finger moves between your slick and inviting labia … and the doorbell goes!

One by one our guests begin to arrive, until we are at our final numbers. Ten women and one man.

We take our places, forming a circle around him, there is something sacrificial about the scene, and the phrase ‘like a lamb to the slaughter’, seems positively appropriate. As I step forward to remove his gag and blindfold, I can see his muscles tensing as he realises just how many women we have invited to enjoy him.

With a nod of my head, everyone steps forward, we close in on him as hands descend upon his skin. He knows he is not to move or make advances upon anyone without instruction, only you and I can present him with orders and no one can seek anything from him without presenting their wishes to us first. Yes he will be used, but he will also be protected.

His first task is to serve drinks and mingle, so those present can decide what they might want from the evening, as well as giving everyone a chance to relax get to know each other better. His behaviour is impeccable and I swell with pride knowing that the collar he wears around his neck is mine. Being able to share him and encourage others to indulge in him is an honour.

As flirtations increase, and it becomes clear that friskiness is becoming the main feeling in the room we invite our guests to remove some layers, and before I know it I am surrounded by visions of bare skin, lace, silk and Latex. Some of us remain in our heels, others wiggle their toes as the air hits them and there is at least one pair of adorable socks on show.

You are next on the list of things to do. Tugging on the d-rings of his harness to make your intentions known, as you settle down on one of the snuggle piles we’ve created, you direct his mouth to your cunt and he wastes no time beginning to administer pleasure. When your body begins to tremble and your hands turn to fists in his hair, you move away from him and I usher another woman into your seat. His eyes widen as he realises this might become a conveyor belt of oral sex. He shows no signs of worry though, he just licks, and sucks, his hands travelling across warm skin when permission is granted.

The moans of pleasure increase around the room, as women entwine with one another, and his fingers as well as tongue are called into action. With every moment that passes I can see him slipping deeper and deeper in subspace. His eyes shining, with that glazed look, his words muffled and low as his thoughts become increasingly more muddled. He looks to us for answers for every question he is asked.

As the latest woman to enjoy his attention spanks his bottom before wandering off to find herself some much needed hydration, I take the opportunity to take things to the next stage of our evening.

Part of our intricate planning involved every woman present bringing with her, or being provided with a strap-on to wear. Many of us willing to use them, some happy just to wear them. As I guide him to the piece of furniture we will be tying him too, his eyes dart around as each of us starts to step into, buckle up and stroke their strap-ons.

It is possible with the position he is in and the type of bondage bench we are using for him to both penetrate and be penetrated. As I stand between his spread thighs, you straddle his cock. As I watch him slide into you I feel like I could come from that image alone. Then he attempts to thrust, his movement hindered by the restraints. You lean forward and kiss him, and a moan escapes his mouth as you start to fuck him mercilessly. I finally stop perving over you both long enough to remember I should be doing something. With great satisfaction I draw a grumble from him as the lube feels cold against his arse, a grumble that turns to a groan of pleasure as I slide into him. We fall into an amazing rhythm, and my hands find your boobs and I as I peek around your torso I can see his eyes fixed on you as your movement brings him ever closer to climax. As we sense that moment looming, we both stop. He won’t come without permission, but taking him right to the edge, and then leaving him to fight his way back is most definitely part of our fun.

We takes turns in ushering women forward, his eyes fixed on them as they declare their intention to slide onto him or slide into him. He watches as new hands unwrap condoms, straining against his restraints when boobs and bums are aching to be grabbed. He does amazingly well as woman after woman fucks herself to climax with his cock, one decides she’d like to give him a blow job, while her new friend tries pegging for the first time. It is a joy to behold, and with unflinching honesty you whisper in my ear to ask if her blowjobs look better than yours. A few heads turn as I say louder than anticipated …

‘Remember; a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It simply blooms’

You laugh at my choice of moments to be philosophical, but you still squeeze my hand gently in silent thanks.

fb6318518f9516c69229a07e541a335bFinally our guests leave and we all snuggle together under a blanket, and we place matching kisses upon his face. In a very soft, but alluring whisper, you mention how he still hasn’t come yet. His cock twitches and he waits with bated breath to see if we will indulge him. Luckily for him you’re a voyeur too, and it has been a long time since you saw us fuck. For the first time tonight he’s ordered to make me come, and I do, as my tongue tastes you and your own gushing orgasm flows onto my face. Still he’s thrusting, breathless and mindless, and I wonder why he still hasn’t come, and I can’t help but giggle as I realise my own mistake.

‘Come for us slave.’

He does, spectacularly and we all collapse in a sweaty, messy heap.

Tonight we sleep. Tomorrow we reminisce.

Cuckolding. It’s Not Completely Cuckoo!

Cuckolding. Is It What You Think It Is?

The dictionary definition of a cuckold is, ‘the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision.’ In terms of cuckolding as a kink or Fetish there is a lot missing from that sentence to get a clear picture of why people enjoy cuckolding with the kink community.

I’m going to start with the term adulteress. Adultery is defined as extramarital sex that is objectionable on the grounds of social, religious, moral or legal grounds. In terms of consensual cuckolding as part of a kink lifestyle, I don’t think many people would identify themselves as an adulterer. While society may class any extramarital sex as adultery, when the sex in question is strengthening or adding to your marriage or long term relationship, it doesn’t really come under the same category as infidelity.

There are many branches of non-monogamy, some of which are more familiar overall than others, but all of which are misunderstood by anyone not well versed in them. Cuckolding is no different. Within the kink community anyone who is engaged with cuckolding, if doing it in a healthy manner, will have consent from all parties involved, boundaries and/or limits they adhere to and lots of communication.

There are as many ways to conduct a cuckolding relationship as there are people into it. It isn’t one size fits all and we shouldn’t assume everyone does it for the same reasons. Yes many men who identify as a cuckold will be into humiliation and that will be huge part of the dynamic with his partner, however many men will not engage in the humiliation element of cuckolding and their dynamic will focus on other aspects that cuckolding can encourage.

The paragraph above was very gender specific, which is something I normally try to avoid, but I specifically went there because when most people think of cuckolding they think of a cisgendered heterosexual man, whose wife or certainly female partner is cheating on him with another man or multiple men. As with most, if not all kinks though, cuckolding does not have to be, and is not gender specific. People can be into cuckolding no matter their gender, sexuality or kink identity.

If It Isn’t Always About Humiliation, What is It About?

Validation of Choices – Have you ever felt pleased when someone complimented you on a new purchase? Be that shoes or car. Knowing someone else is attracted to your partner can cause that same feeling. That isn’t to say that this kind of validation is needed for people to love or be attracted to their partner, but it can certainly enhance arousal.

Power Exchange – Being stripped of your ability to have input while your partner engages in sexual activity, while you not only get none for yourself but may also be ‘forced’ to watch as they fuck someone else can be an extremely arousing situation for some people. It is worth repeating that these kinds of dynamics need clear negotiation and explicit consent before being embarked upon.

Sexual Arousal – For many people it is arousing to see their partner or hear about their partner being sexual with another person. There will be no more or no less to it than that.

Exploration of Taboos – Exploring and experiencing things we have grown up being told are wrong can be a really powerful sexual motivator. Cuckolding lends itself well to many people exploring a lot of societal taboos.

Escapism – As with many kinks, engaging in cuckolding will be a way of letting go and escaping the everyday for many people. That isn’t to say there aren’t 24/7 lifestyle cuckolds, of course there are. There are probably more casual cuckolds though who simply enjoy it when they can to take a step away from daily grind for a while.

Chastity – Lots of men are into chastity. Not all of them are into cuckolding. However, for some men into chastity one of the things that makes being locked away even hotter is knowing that other penises are free to fuck the woman that owns their very locked up cock.

Humiliation – Why have I have saying it isn’t about humiliation only to go and say it is? Easy, because when people think of the humiliation aspect they often get it wrong. Erotic humiliation can be extremely arousing and powerful form of emotional masochism. To engage in humiliation in a healthy and constructive manner you need to have oodles of trust in your partner, great communication skills and a really good idea of what humiliation means to you. Humiliating your partner without their consent is just abuse, fucking someone else to humiliate your partner without their consent is cruel not kinky. Being able to embrace your desire to be humiliated takes a lot of strength and courage, so it doesn’t necessarily correlate with the usual assumption of a cuckold being weak.

Cuckold? Really? Can We Have Another Word?

The origin of the word cuckold comes from the Cuckoo* bird’s habit of laying its eggs in another birds nest, therefore the unwitting bird will raise offspring that is not its own. Originally being used to refer to men whose partners were deceiving them by sleeping with another man, or men who were unwittingly raising another man’s offspring. With means that it is a somewhat imprecise term for many people who are into cuckolding.

IMG_7318.JPGAlternatives are thin on the ground though, and probably don’t provide many better options. HotWife lifestyle is probably the only other descriptive that offers similar activities but without the associated negative connotations of its roots being in infidelity and humiliation. However I am well aware many people would not feel it is suitable for them, and I am neither supporting nor condemning it.

*Because disclaimers are all the rage I feel obliged to mention that not all species of Cuckoo do this. I do not want to offend any non-cuckolding Cuckoos or any Ornithologists.

When it comes to terminology, there are some options but again I don’t think they feel like the right fit for everyone. Especially if gender specific terms are not appropriate or wanted.

Cuckquean – Female variant of a cuckold

Bull – Man with whom a cuckold’s partner is having sex

Cuckcake – Woman with whom a cuckqueans partner is having sex

What if you are the partner who is free to enjoy sexual encounters while your cuckold stays home or watches the fun in some cases? You may be a CuckQueen (note this is different to cuckquean), Cuckoldress or HotWife. Interestingly male versions of these terms do not seem to exist, so make of that what you will.

Surely If The Terms Don’t Fit Your Kink Is Something Else?

Yes and no. There is a specific element of cuckolding that you don’t get with other branches of non-monogamy or kink. While your partner is fucking someone else, you aren’t. You’re not fucking them and you’re not fucking anyone else either. Maybe you’re watching, maybe you’re sat at home alone or maybe you’re at work knowing your partner is getting their kicks anywhere but with you. Why someone is turned on or content with that might vary, but the specific nature of cuckolding means that you are not providing the sexual pleasure.

Perhaps if we saw more positive and honest examples of this particular kink we would be able to move away from the negative and sometimes incorrect assumptions that usually come with it.

Floss Is Wrong and She’s Ruining My Life

Wow! Sucks to be you then.

On a more serious note I realise that for people who live this lifestyle I may not be supporting the truths of how they view cuckolding and what that means to them. Unfortunately though no matter who you are or what your kink is, it is going to evolve and cuckolding is no different.

It is evolving and as such demanding people do it in one particular way is going to achieve nothing. The ‘one true way’ BDSM folk are dwindling, though still existing I grant you that, because their reluctance to accept new and/or alternative ideas makes them seem unpleasant and elitist.

Surely someone understanding, supporting and embracing something even if only from time to time is better than them having no outlet for their desires and being unfulfilled.

Before, during and after I wrote this I perused cuckolding forums and cuckolding groups on Fetlife and Reddit to ensure I wasn’t making any absolutely absurd claims. I do not want to misrepresent anyone, and I do not speak for the entire kink community on this blog, what I do want to do though is challenge people’s assumptions of a wide variety of kinks and try to encourage more acceptance of not only kink in general, but for kinks that may not be our own.

My blog mainly reaches people who are new to kink and are looking to learn and as such I try present my information in a way that is supportive, non-judgemental; and will hopefully give people a starting point for what may or may not be their kink. For that reason it may not match your own experience if you have been in the lifestyle for a long time.

FemDom Friday: FemDom Is For Switches Too

Switch – A person who may feel Dominant or submissive depending on their mood or their partner. Switching also encompasses those who identify as Top/bottom, and Sadist/masochist

I never would have found my love of FemDom if I hadn’t initially thought I was a submissive. When I joined the kink scene it was with the assumption that I would find a Dominant to explore my submissive side with. While in some ways that did happen, another and surprising thing happened too. I realised that while I do enjoy being a bottom, I have a great passion for Topping, and the resulting conclusion was that I am in fact a Switch.

Top – A person who is in control during a scene, this person may or may not identify as a Dominant

Bottom – A person who gives up control, receives physical sensation and/or verbal instruction during a scene from a Top, this person may or may not identify as submissive

Continue reading “FemDom Friday: FemDom Is For Switches Too”

FemDom Friday: Don’t Be Swayed By The Stereotypes

When I first tried my hand at Topping, it was not what I would call a success. I bought the clothes and the shoes that said ‘I am a Dominatrix’, my hair and makeup matched the stereotype that the word Dominatrix conjures. When it came to the nitty gritty though I found that style wasn’t enough, because in attempting to explore that side of myself, I wasn’t the ideal version of a Female Dominant that the people I was Topping had imagined I would be.

In my various wanderings around the internet, I have seen many women say they can’t be Dominant within their kink explorations for a myriad of reasons. The only reason that I believe to be valid for not trying FemDom is that is truly does not interest you. Being petite, having no sadistic inclinations, an attraction to men who take charge in their daily life, or who are physically stronger than you – none of these are to my mind barriers to exploring or enjoying FemDom.

Continue reading “FemDom Friday: Don’t Be Swayed By The Stereotypes”

The Tease of Chastity

I recently commented on a piece of my erotica that myself and Bakji have recently had a failed attempt at male chastity. A regular reader collaredmichael asked what happened and suggested it might be a future blog post. At the time I said it was a short story, and not really worthy of its own post, however the whole situation is starting to become more and more ludicrous, so perhaps now is the time to share.

Myself and Bakji have been discussing trying a cock cage for a fair while now. While we are not currently looking to explore long-term chastity, we are very keen to incorporate it into our scenes, and I have high hopes for using it when we spend weekends together. My imagination is completely captivated by this idea, as two recent erotic tales involving chastity probably shows.

This is probably one of my top kinks that I am excited to explore. Which meant I was very excited when we got our hands on a cock cage free of charge. Now granted it was a fairly entry-level cage, we were warned that it wasn’t great for long-term use, and was likely to pinch at times. The general consensus however was that it would probably be adequate for our current needs and would at least give us a an idea of how we felt about chastity once we’d actually engaged in it.  

Initially I told Bakji that he wasn’t allowed to try the cage alone, I soon realised though that trying it together presented a problem. The problem being that together usually equals boner! So I caved and sent Bakji away with it, I did however request that I received a picture once it once on!

I got a message a few hours later, a message not a picture, all was not well in chastity land. There is no way to tell this story without sounding like I am bragging, about a willy that isn’t mine, but actually kind of is mine, so I’m just going to say it as it is and we can deal with whether or not I sound smug later on. Basically the cock we have at our disposal is too big for the cage in question. I could not hold in my giggles as Bakji sent many whatsapp message regaling the attempts he had made.  

We then went on to measure Bakji and to measure the cage and there was no disputing that there was a big size issue, we needed one that allowed for a larger girth. I then headed to the internet to looking at some more cages, now I knew the kind of circumference we were in need of. Well … it was not a successful endeavour, I could not find one, across about 5 sites that would be adequate.

Not one to give up easily, Bakji decided to give the cage another try. He lubed up, and got a bit forceful, only to discover that even when forced on, which wasn’t exactly ideal, the cage only encased the lower third of his cock, and the ring for the base was so tight it was distractingly uncomfortable. All in all, that is not really how I want our chastity experience to be. I don’t want him to be in constant unpleasant pain. I want it be sexy, and restrictive and full of tease.

We have received little bits of advice from people here and there from discussing this online and on the podcast and I feel awful when I have to rebuff all the suggestions, because again how do we state our problems without sounding boastful. One of the suggestions was that we needed to be putting the cage on after climax, when the cock has gone flaccid. To which I had to confess that Bakji doesn’t go soft after he’s climaxed. Obviously he does eventually, he isn’t perpetually hard, but it takes time. By which point any attention I give it would make it go hard again, hence why I left him to try it himself.

What has happened now though is that this feels like a battle to be won. Me against Bakji’s willy and I am determined to win. It can try to be all big and full of ‘you can’t cage me’ bravado, but I can and I will. I am now convinced a custom cage is the way we need to go, so pennies will be saved and research will be done.

When I said this to Bakji he pointed out that this whole scenario seems to have had the inadvertent effect of teasing me more than it’s teasing him, and I hate to admit it but he’s right. The reason being though, is that it has now become an even hotter prospect because it has become a challenge. It isn’t an easy win, I can’t just do it, I’ve got to work for it, which is a similar to why I enjoy Topping Bakji. He’s a bit of a brat, and I have to work for his submission, especially the deep, spacey kind. I have to know all the buttons to push and how to push them, then I get my prize of him going all dopey and submissive. Chastity is now presenting the same level of appeal.

If anyone reading this has a larger endowed penis that is caged, or you have a custom-made cage I’d love to hear suggestions of good companies to investigate, or if you found an off the shelf cage that you think suits my requirements please let me know which make it is and where you obtained it from. I would be very, very grateful for all input, because it is not remotely fair that I am being teased by this and Bakji is not.

 

Figuring Out You Tasks and Rituals

N.B: This blog post was inspired an email from the Loving BDSM 30 Days of D/s. If you haven’t listened to their podcast yet please do so, you can also check out the website for great resources and links on how to listen or follow on social media.


This will be a short one, and also a request for ideas.

As anyone who has been reading along with these 30 Days of D/s posts or anyone who has read a variety of my posts on my blog will know, myself and Bakji don’t a formal D/s arrangement as such. It’s an in scene only, switchy dynamic. However for a little while now that switch dynamic has been flicked to FemDom.

Our scenes have a fair bit of variety to them. Sometimes I’m a sensual and loving Top and other times I’m power hungry, sadistic and aching to whisper humiliating things in Bakji’s ear. I enjoy both immensely, but neither of these come with tasks and rituals.

I’d imagine that tasks and rituals come into play for those people who have a more day-to-day D/s dynamic, but dammit, I want in. I want to find some sexy tasks and rituals we can incorporate into our scenes.

For the longest time I’ve wanted to think up a sexy mantra that Bakji can recite, and Honorifics have been on the list for a while too. I think with these I just need to get the ball rolling with them so that they become a natural part of our scenes.

We are about to take the plunge with chastity, not long-term, just in scene only. For now. *insert evil laugh here* I am ever hopeful that Bakji will love it so much we might be able to do it for at least a few days at a time! So I expect this might highlight some opportunities to tighten the rules a little bit.

Some of the other things we enjoy are body worship (especially bum and feet), humiliation (at the milder end but it’s still very sexy), edging, facesitting and restraint. More gets included too, but those are the main ones.

So my question to anyone reading, what are some of you favourite tasks and rituals? Especially if they involve any of the things I mentioned above. Even if they don’t though I’d still love to hear them.

I need inspiration folks, so please feel free to share any ideas you might have.

Episode #29: Female Led Relationships with Nookie Notes

Click here for link on how to listen to us. 

Kinkster and Author Nookie Notes joins Bakji and Floss in this episode to discuss Female Led Relationships and her new website datingkinky.com. Part of what makes the kink community great is people with good insights on relationships and people who are will to present the community with new ideas and opportunities. Having followed Nookie Notes on Fetlife for some times and finding myself continuously loving lots of her writing, I thought why not invite her on the podcast.

There were quite a few technical issues to overcome with this episode, the first time a Skype session has ever given is this much trouble, so please do bear with the episode even if there is the odd drop in sound.

Once we got chatting though we had a brilliant discussion chatting with Nookie Notes. We asked her about her writing, which you can find via her Fetlife account, she has also written a fair few books which you can find on amazon. Her books are predominantly about Female Led Relationships, with her erotica containing a good dose of cuckolding. While her Fetlife writings cover a wide range of subjects including consent, feelings, orgasms and much more.

We were very interested to discuss Nookie’s take on FLR’s and what they involve and how they relate to Kink, or if indeed they need to be related at all. Here at ProudToBeKinky we are big FemDom fans, not sure if anyone has ever noticed that, but FLR’s are different in and of themselves, so it was interested to hear where the similarities and differences lay.

As the podcast that likes to discuss the social side of kink we couldn’t have Nookie on without asking about the dating website she has created, datingkinky.com. She told us all about how she came to the decision to start a dating website, and how it has been developing over the last  6 months. We are really excited to see how this pans out in the future, and hopefully hear lots of great success stories of people finding great matches through it.

Quick fire questions return, as does out nosiness about what our guest is doing at the weekend, and as always there a fair few tangents that uncover some interesting topics of conversation, bidets and toilet roll included.

Regular listeners will have noticed our introduction now has a new addition, from our friends over at Off The Cuffs who kindly invited us into the Podcast Jukebox Network, please do listen to the great podcasts included in that, and leave them and us a great review if you are listening on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.

If you have any comments, or questions for us, about the podcast or kink in general, you can get in touch on anyone of our social media accounts; Fetlife, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Just search for ‘proudtobekinky’ and there we will be. You can also swing by our Patreon page and support us there too, you can also get in touch with ideas for what rewards you would like to see on the Patreon page, all suggestions welcome.