Category: D/s

[FemDom Friday] The Secret to Success

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One of the most common questions I get asked about FemDom is ‘where do I begin’. After establishing that your partner wants to be Dominated and that you want to do the Dominating people suddenly panic about how to go about doing that, and what formula they can follow to get it right. I not only understand the thinking behind this question, but it was a question I asked myself before I started to get my confidence in Topping Bakji.

The secret to worrying about this less is a lot simpler than you’d think, and if you can take it to heart and truly believe it your FemDom sessions will surge forward with much enjoyment for you both. The key to FemDom success?

They Want Your Attention.

I made it bigger and bolder because I want you to seriously consider what it is I am saying and commit it to memory and remind yourself of it every time you think you might be getting something wrong.

I can think of a multitude of times where I fumbled during a scene, took too long to decide what to do next, generally thought the whole scene was a bag of scrap and worried that Bakji was hating every minute of it. If you ask Bakji however many times that has been the case? Zero. That’s right, not once has he noticed anything being amiss. All he’s ever focused on is the the fact I’m doing sexy stuff to him. In the pauses where I’m thinking, or wondering what to do next, he is anticipating just how sexy the next thing will be.

Your actions don’t have to be fancy and elaborate for a FemDom session to be fun, especially not in the early days. If you’ve never explored the Top/bottom dynamic before, and things like bondage and blindfolds are new too, then the most simple of sessions can actually be mind blowing.

Even now when my own scenes have moved forward a little, and we do on occasions indulge in some more intense kinks, I don’t forget the simpler acts. Using simple under bed restraints, blindfolding your partner and kissing every inch of them, might seem really tame to some people. The person tied down though is likely to end up aching for more, and probably eager for attention that perhaps has a more sexual direction, especially if you’ve carefully avoided their more intimate areas as you play.

Being the focus of someone’s attention is delightful, and having someone be at your mercy (in a sexy and consensual way of course) is the flip-side of that and it too is wonderful position to be in.

It can be all to easy to overthink what it means to be the one in charge of a scene, and yes as time and dynamics progress the responsibilities and intricacies of that may well grow. In your early days of exploration though there is nothing wrong with keeping it simple and lavishing your bottom with lots of sexy attention that will have them weak at the knees and desperate to come.


This is the eleventh article in a 12 part series, the final instalment ‘Enjoy Yourself and Have Fun’ is coming soon. You can hear more of my thoughts on FemDom and Kink by tuning in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife.

2019-Help.pngIf you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March. 

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[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 7

You might like to read the previous Friday Girls instalments before indulging in this piece. 

‘Where are we going?’

‘If you love Vettriano then I know a really cool art exhibit that you’ll enjoy. It’s only small but it’s got a great vibe.’

I take her word for it, enjoying walking with her, hand in hand through the busy streets and bustling crowds. Suddenly the world falls silent though and I realise we have somehow found ourselves away from the noise and chaos of the city.

I stop, and her hand leaves mind as she keeps going, but she turns quickly to see what I’m doing.

‘What are you up to? Why have we stopped?’

I kiss her passionately and push her against the wall of the abandoned subway, artistic graffiti looms over us, a tentacled beast casting his eyes in our direction as my cunt throbs and swells with an ache I’m not willing to ignore.

‘Fuck me.’

‘What? Right here? In the subway?’

She looks bemused rather than reluctant.

‘Yep, be my good girl again and make me come.’

She giggles, but it’s deep and throaty, and I know she is going to make sure I get exactly what I ask for.

Her fingers waste no time in working their way beneath my layers of clothing.

‘You’re so wet. I must really turn you on.’

‘Too fucking right you do.’

My words leave my mouth through gasps and moans, as she circles my clit, not gently, not with a slow build up, but with a feeling of frenzy, as if she is a desperate to make me climax as I am to have her create that within me. When she has me where she wants me, so close my cunt is burning with the need to come for her, she plunges her fingers deep inside me and fucks me with an almost furious passion.

Her fingers are moving hard and fast inside me, her body pressed against mine, her face buried in my neck as she moans with the pleasure she is getting from playing with my cunt.

‘FuckYes, FuckYes, FuckYes!’

Is all I can say as my muscles contract, gripping her fingers as I gush all over her, drenching her hand and my clothes in spectacular fashion. I definitely got what I asked for.

We manage to compose ourselves enough to set off to the art exhibit and I can’t help but wonder other secluded spots we might find throughout the coming day.


My featured image was originally by F. Dot Leonora and provided the direction in which this weeks instalment went. You do not have to use the prompt image to get involved in Friday Flash, you simply need to write 500 words or less.

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Who else is Flashing this Friday?

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If you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March. 

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

[Sinful Sunday] I am … Switchy

This wasn’t the photo I was expecting to take for Sinful Sunday, but I took it among a range of other images, almost by accident. But was the one that made me see my Switchy self the most.

Continue reading “[Sinful Sunday] I am … Switchy”

[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 5

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This is part 5 of my Friday Flash serial. I have now renamed all previous parts so they are easier to read in order. Jo and Cam are now affectionately known as the Friday Girls and their adventure will be ongoing for as long as they are having fun. You can find there rest of their adventures here.

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Photo by F Dot Leonora

‘If you want to stop, for any reason, say red. That’s your safeword, a sign from you to me, that something isn’t quite right and we need to stop playing, immediately. Do you understand?’

Her yes is loud and clear, and with an albeit very minimal safety talk covered, I feel like I can proceed with the somewhat unexpected turn our day has taken.

I position her on the bed, knees spread, head down, hands resting beside her face. She looks glorious, and very accessible, which is always a bonus. My hands roam freely across her body, every now and again I feel her body tense in anticipation of what I might do, she is clearly a little nervous, but the overwhelming feeling in the room is one of desire.

Continue reading “[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 5”

[Review] Black Leather Heart Collar from Bondara

I am working on a blog post about collars and collaring, and I reached out on Twitter to see if any companies would like to help me explore my own personal experience with collars a little bit. Bondara very kindly responded to my request for help, and sent me two collars, the idea being that they would help me explore collars in a different way to the only one we currently use.

One of the collars I was sent was the Lair Black Leather Studded Heart Collar. I’ll be honest the reason this collar was one that appealed to me was because it was cute and I had visions of Bakji getting his submission on in a super cute heart collar. However, as soon as it arrived my feelings on the matter changed.

Continue reading “[Review] Black Leather Heart Collar from Bondara”

[FemDom Friday] FemDom Can Be Sex Inclusive

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‘Don’t you miss having sex?’

A question I have been asked many times with regards to being into FemDom. It’s hard to know where to begin with unraveling the myth behind this particular question, so let’s just acknowledge one thing straight away … FemDom can be sex inclusive.

The beauty of being the one in charge, whether that just in a scene or in a more extended FemDom dynamic is that you get to call the shots. (Within established parameters and respecting limits of course.) I have always known that I could include sex in my FemDom scenes, learning how to incorporate it was trickier, that however was about my personal approach, rather than about some unwritten rule of no sex for Dominant Women.

Continue reading “[FemDom Friday] FemDom Can Be Sex Inclusive”

[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 4

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This is Part 4 of what is my Friday Flash serial. Please check out Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 as well. They are all 500 words or under, so nice quick reads for you. 


sculpture-with-rabbit-earsI woke the following day and as romantic as it would be to say I spent my time watching her sleep, I actually spent be moments before she woke marvelling at the myriad of photographs placed around her room. I was looking at one of a strange rabbit man riding pillion on a horse statue when I heard her voice behind me.

‘So … that was all a little unexpected!’

I couldn’t hold back my laughter, and it was through continuing chortles that I replied.

‘Sorry, what? You were the one who whispered ‘let’s go back to mine and do the bathroom thing again’ in my ear, how can you not have been expecting that.’

‘Oh don’t get me wrong, I was expecting us to fuck, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so … Dominant.’

Continue reading “[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 4”

[Erotica] The Golden Stream

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Content Warning: Watersports/Urination Play 

You look at me eyes wide and your mouth open, you’re being such good boy. Well the eye contact makes you a good boy, the open mouth just means the gag is doing its job. Keeping your mouth open and accessible to me at all times.

Your eyes sparkle with a mixture of excitement and trepidation! Is it just a threat? Part of the tease and something to add to the intensity of our scene. Or do I really mean to do it this time!

I straddle you and bound as you are you are unable to do much more than attempt to wriggle! I watch as your chest heaves as your breathing speeds up and your eyes fix on my cunt! The cunt you love so much, you’ve licked it, fucked it, fingered it, made it gush, made it clench, made me scream in delight at the attention you’ve paid it. Never have you drowned beneath it though.

Never has my warm, wet piss flowed over you. Drenching you in my scent, marking you as Mine.

Never until now!

I position myself above your mouth and I watch as your body tenses and your eyes are forced wider still by the uncertainty you now face! I suspect part of you doesn’t want to watch, but that part of you that aches for me to do unspeakable things to you is delighted by the prospect of my warm golden stream filling your mouth.

I’m poised, ready and even I wonder if someday is going to be today. If the urge have you taste me in a new way will be fulfilled. I don’t know when this desire became more than a tease, more than a threat to heighten your experience while we played. When, I wonder, did it become overwhelming and magnificent in its appeal.

I feel my muscles clench and release. Someday is today and I watch as a stream of piss flows onto your chin. I gauge the reaction in your eyes and the slightly horrified sparkle tells me I can go further. I tilt my pelvis ever so slightly, clenching my muscles to stop the flow and releasing to fill your mouth.

Filling your mouth is actually just gracing your tongue with a small but delicious quantity! You can’t close your mouth to swallow and I watch as your tongue moves awkwardly to allow your throat access to this new and addictive nectar.

A full and well prepared bladder means I can change position once more, this time strong and continuous upon your chest. The ropes that bind you are darkening as they absorb in a way your skin can not. My eyes follow the lines and knots of the rope works across your body and I notice how my flowing piss trickles across your flesh. My eyes are drawn downwards to your cock and if ever there was a doubt that your arousal for this matches my own, your cock, hard, twitching and eager removes all doubt.

My cunt finally stops in its mission to drench you because the mission has been completed with great success. My fingers wrap around your erection, and all I can think about is turning you into a wetter and messier pile of ruination. As always my hand is exceptionally efficient in making this happen.

You grunt, groan and shudder your way to orgasm, all louder and more forceful than normal as they escape through your open mouth which is still forced open by the gag, drool has also found its way to freedom making your chin shiny with saliva and this further fuels my need to see your belly covered in your own spunk. My hand begins its final sprint towards your climax and I am not disappointed.

You come hard, it looks violent and painful as it creates pleasurable havoc within you and forces the fruits of my labour from your body in hot, messy spurts. As I hoped for, you are covered, belly to chest, you are a beautiful sticky, wet mess.

I remove your gag and kiss you, and you pull back a little, worried that you are covered or drool or might taste like piss. None of that matters to me though. I straddle you, feeling your spunk soaking through my flimsy excuse for a dress, as I hold your face between my hands and kiss you with as much passion with which you came.

Someday was today and today was deliciously depraved.


This blog post was inspired by this weeks Wicked Wednesday prompt of ‘Someday’. Please follow the link below to see who else has submitted and leave them some love.

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Who else is being Wicked this Wednesday?

2019-Help.pngIf you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March. 

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

 

[Erotica] Cleaning Up Her Mess

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Content Warning: Themes of Humiliation and Degradation included 

‘It’s frivolous. You’re frivolous. Don’t you realise some us struggle to pay our bills each month.’

The conversation was always the same with Jane, I wouldn’t  mind so much if she wasn’t nursing a rather expensive bottle of wine as we spoke, and if there was even truth in nature of a my frivolity.

‘What is your indiscretion?’ I hear you cry. I must confess, I have a cleaner. At least this is what Jane thinks. What I actually have though is a willing and consenting submissive, who gains an awful lot of pleasure of being allowed to do various household tasks for me, in exchange I reward her for her good behaviour. She’s adorable and eager to please which means my house is always spotless. She also has a variety of cleaning outfits that without fail brighten my day when I see them.

Continue reading “[Erotica] Cleaning Up Her Mess”

[FemDom Friday] Even Hardcore Kinks Have Low Level Entry Points

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One of the most common reasons people tell me that they don’t feel like they can explore FemDom, even when the desire is there, is because they aren’t into ‘the right things’. Once again porn feeds into some absolutely legitimate and wonderful kinks, but often they portray the more advanced end of the scale.

One of the things I always suspected and was delighted to see it confirmed in Princess Kali’s book ‘Enough to Make You Blush’ is that even hardcore kinks have low level entry points. While I am a huge advocate of every reading her book, I know many of you won’t, so I am exploring my own thoughts on the subject to spread the word. Essentially though, from beginning to end, her book is suitable for everyone. Even those people who deemed humiliation not for them, just like I did. Spoiler Alert: I now love erotic humiliation.

When you first enter the kink community or first start exploring a new side to you kinky repertoire it can be easy to become flustered by some kinks and think that you could never do them. It seems to be a secret that all kinks have low level entry points.

Continue reading “[FemDom Friday] Even Hardcore Kinks Have Low Level Entry Points”