Category: BDSM

[FemDom Friday] The Secret to Success

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One of the most common questions I get asked about FemDom is ‘where do I begin’. After establishing that your partner wants to be Dominated and that you want to do the Dominating people suddenly panic about how to go about doing that, and what formula they can follow to get it right. I not only understand the thinking behind this question, but it was a question I asked myself before I started to get my confidence in Topping Bakji.

The secret to worrying about this less is a lot simpler than you’d think, and if you can take it to heart and truly believe it your FemDom sessions will surge forward with much enjoyment for you both. The key to FemDom success?

They Want Your Attention.

I made it bigger and bolder because I want you to seriously consider what it is I am saying and commit it to memory and remind yourself of it every time you think you might be getting something wrong.

I can think of a multitude of times where I fumbled during a scene, took too long to decide what to do next, generally thought the whole scene was a bag of scrap and worried that Bakji was hating every minute of it. If you ask Bakji however many times that has been the case? Zero. That’s right, not once has he noticed anything being amiss. All he’s ever focused on is the the fact I’m doing sexy stuff to him. In the pauses where I’m thinking, or wondering what to do next, he is anticipating just how sexy the next thing will be.

Your actions don’t have to be fancy and elaborate for a FemDom session to be fun, especially not in the early days. If you’ve never explored the Top/bottom dynamic before, and things like bondage and blindfolds are new too, then the most simple of sessions can actually be mind blowing.

Even now when my own scenes have moved forward a little, and we do on occasions indulge in some more intense kinks, I don’t forget the simpler acts. Using simple under bed restraints, blindfolding your partner and kissing every inch of them, might seem really tame to some people. The person tied down though is likely to end up aching for more, and probably eager for attention that perhaps has a more sexual direction, especially if you’ve carefully avoided their more intimate areas as you play.

Being the focus of someone’s attention is delightful, and having someone be at your mercy (in a sexy and consensual way of course) is the flip-side of that and it too is wonderful position to be in.

It can be all to easy to overthink what it means to be the one in charge of a scene, and yes as time and dynamics progress the responsibilities and intricacies of that may well grow. In your early days of exploration though there is nothing wrong with keeping it simple and lavishing your bottom with lots of sexy attention that will have them weak at the knees and desperate to come.


This is the eleventh article in a 12 part series, the final instalment ‘Enjoy Yourself and Have Fun’ is coming soon. You can hear more of my thoughts on FemDom and Kink by tuning in to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, or you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can send a friend request on Fetlife.

2019-Help.pngIf you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March. 

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[Erotica] Hypnotic Adventures

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I pause to take in the sight before me. He’s bloody, bruised and battered. This beautiful boy of mine is not a masochist, yet here he stands having barely flinched at the pain I have inflicted upon him. I never imagined he would fall this deep. That our new explorations would work so well, that the 3, 2, 1 of erotic hypnosis would actually work. Though I didn’t count him down. There was no swinging watch face, or flourishes to entertain a watching crowd.

There was just he and I as I guided him into a new state of being. Through fields of glorious colour. Shade after shade pictured in his mind and as he moved into each vivid colours he was straying further from himself and further into me. When he reached the end, and the colour he saw was a bright burning white, instead of needed to shield his eyes from it, he felt comfort and safety and he walked into that light, into me and fell deep under my spell.

Continue reading “[Erotica] Hypnotic Adventures”

[Sinful Sunday] I am … Switchy

This wasn’t the photo I was expecting to take for Sinful Sunday, but I took it among a range of other images, almost by accident. But was the one that made me see my Switchy self the most.

Continue reading “[Sinful Sunday] I am … Switchy”

[#SoSS] Darkness and Shadow(banning)

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It’s that day of the week again and I couldn’t go with doing a #SoSS post this week. I read some awesome blog posts and I can’t wait to share them with you. First of all I wanted to take a moment to address why we do these posts. While it is lovely to see the camaraderie within the blogging community, introduce our blog regulars to new finds and drive traffic towards new blogs those are not the initial reason the Share our Shit Saturday movement was started.

Continue reading “[#SoSS] Darkness and Shadow(banning)”

[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 5

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This is part 5 of my Friday Flash serial. I have now renamed all previous parts so they are easier to read in order. Jo and Cam are now affectionately known as the Friday Girls and their adventure will be ongoing for as long as they are having fun. You can find there rest of their adventures here.

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Photo by F Dot Leonora

‘If you want to stop, for any reason, say red. That’s your safeword, a sign from you to me, that something isn’t quite right and we need to stop playing, immediately. Do you understand?’

Her yes is loud and clear, and with an albeit very minimal safety talk covered, I feel like I can proceed with the somewhat unexpected turn our day has taken.

I position her on the bed, knees spread, head down, hands resting beside her face. She looks glorious, and very accessible, which is always a bonus. My hands roam freely across her body, every now and again I feel her body tense in anticipation of what I might do, she is clearly a little nervous, but the overwhelming feeling in the room is one of desire.

Continue reading “[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 5”

[Review] Black Leather Heart Collar from Bondara

I am working on a blog post about collars and collaring, and I reached out on Twitter to see if any companies would like to help me explore my own personal experience with collars a little bit. Bondara very kindly responded to my request for help, and sent me two collars, the idea being that they would help me explore collars in a different way to the only one we currently use.

One of the collars I was sent was the Lair Black Leather Studded Heart Collar. I’ll be honest the reason this collar was one that appealed to me was because it was cute and I had visions of Bakji getting his submission on in a super cute heart collar. However, as soon as it arrived my feelings on the matter changed.

Continue reading “[Review] Black Leather Heart Collar from Bondara”

[FemDom Friday] FemDom Can Be Sex Inclusive

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‘Don’t you miss having sex?’

A question I have been asked many times with regards to being into FemDom. It’s hard to know where to begin with unraveling the myth behind this particular question, so let’s just acknowledge one thing straight away … FemDom can be sex inclusive.

The beauty of being the one in charge, whether that just in a scene or in a more extended FemDom dynamic is that you get to call the shots. (Within established parameters and respecting limits of course.) I have always known that I could include sex in my FemDom scenes, learning how to incorporate it was trickier, that however was about my personal approach, rather than about some unwritten rule of no sex for Dominant Women.

Continue reading “[FemDom Friday] FemDom Can Be Sex Inclusive”

[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 4

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This is Part 4 of what is my Friday Flash serial. Please check out Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 as well. They are all 500 words or under, so nice quick reads for you. 


sculpture-with-rabbit-earsI woke the following day and as romantic as it would be to say I spent my time watching her sleep, I actually spent be moments before she woke marvelling at the myriad of photographs placed around her room. I was looking at one of a strange rabbit man riding pillion on a horse statue when I heard her voice behind me.

‘So … that was all a little unexpected!’

I couldn’t hold back my laughter, and it was through continuing chortles that I replied.

‘Sorry, what? You were the one who whispered ‘let’s go back to mine and do the bathroom thing again’ in my ear, how can you not have been expecting that.’

‘Oh don’t get me wrong, I was expecting us to fuck, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so … Dominant.’

Continue reading “[Erotica] The Friday Girls – Part 4”

[Kink] I Am a Medical Masturbator!

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Content Warning – Medical Play, Blood Play, Needle Play including images of needles in use and bleeding post use.

My recent post ‘Nurse Floss Will See You Now’ was something of a landmark blog post for me, it discussed some elements of my kinky interests that I had not shared, except perhaps in passing in previous posts. It also included kinks that I am aware could be triggering for other people or at the very least hard limits for them. It was however warmly received, even by those people who could not relate to the kinks and scenes described within it as arousing for them personally.

With the positivity of that post making me a lot bolder, I would like to share another kink of mine with you. While it isn’t one I indulge in every time I masturbate, it isn’t something I like to enjoy from time to time, and as the title suggests that kink is Medical Masturbation. At least that’s what I am calling it.

Continue reading “[Kink] I Am a Medical Masturbator!”

[Sinful Sunday] I’m Such a Bloody Tease

This image is a prelude to tomorrow’s blog post! Where there will be before images, and after images and lots of explanation as to what I got up to before I took this picture.

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Each week the Sinful Sunday images are sexy, inspiring, fun and thought provoking. If you aren’t checking them out then you are missing out. Follow the link below, see who is getting involved and leave some likes and comments for your favourites.

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Who else is being Sinful this Sunday?

2019-Help.pngIf you enjoy the content I provide both here and as part of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast and you would like to support that, then likes and comments are joyful to receive and you can also click below to support me through Ko-fi. All support through Ko-fi is going towards my Eroticon attendance in March. 

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com