Category: Author

Episode 38: Lee Harrington Talks Gender, Shibari, Kink & Much More

Lee Harrington is our guest this week, and if for some reason this is your first time listening to Lee speak you are in for a treat. Not only is he a friendly and extremely likeable person, he is also knowledgeable about so many topics it’s hard to know what to ask him about first.

Having perused some of the wealth of resources Lee has to offer, 10 books to date, educational classes, podcasts (both his own and guest spots on other people’s), a blog, plus a presence on various social media platforms. We asked Lee what inspires him to carry out the work he does and the answer in itself is inspiring.

As you know myself and Bakji are relatively new to the kink scene, hence why we don’t class ourselves as educators when it comes to the podcast, we are just two people who are keen to share our experiences in the hope they might resonate with other people and give them support and encouragement where needed in terms of embracing either their local scene, their kinks or perhaps both. Less however has got two decades worth of experience of the kink scene under his belt. So we ask him how he came to discover his kinky side and what brought him into the kink community.

Our previous episode that addressed the topic of gender, ‘Episode 30 – Cross-Dressing and Being GenderFluid’ was a huge success. So we wanted to take some time to talk to Lee about this. As someone who openly discusses his own journey with gender, his insight and thoughts on gender identity are both educational and thought provoking. I challenge anyone who thinks they know about gender, or the issues some people face in relation to their gender to listen to Lee and not learn something.

We also talk about the crazy rude questions people often ask, relating to both gender and sexuality and how those questions are best navigated. This also leads us to discuss what constitutes sex, how opinions on this can vary and that knowing your partners view on this can be of great importance.

Floss gets herself flustered again when we talk about the bathroom bill that is being proposed in Lee’s current home state of Alaska. In which people will be required to use the bathroom of the gendered assigned on their birth certificate, regardless of how they are currently presenting. Lee was actually heading straight to protest for this right after we spoke with him.

It would be remiss of us to have Lee on without asking him about rope. As someone who has been tying long before there were online tutorials and a rope gathering in every city. We are thoroughly spoilt now with the amount of information we can obtain when it comes to Shibari, and it’s people like Lee that we have to thank for that. People who painstakingly reverse engineered ties and made connections with other people across the world who could impart their wisdom also.

If you would like to know more about Lee you can find him at passionandsoul.com, through there you can read his blog posts and check out what other podcasts you can listen to him on. His chat with our sister podcast Off The Cuffs turned into a two parter and is well worth a listen.

As well as Off The Cuffs, we are also joined in the Podcast Jukebox Network by the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. You can find all of us on most podcast apps. You can also find us all on a variety of social media platforms, including our new Podcast Jukebox Facebook group.

If you have any comments on this episode or the podcast in general you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com, or get in touch on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook. You can also check us out on Patreon, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, home of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun.

 

Episode 32: Polyamory with Page Turner from Poly.Land

Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy is this weeks focus, as Bakji and Floss are joined by the wonderful Page Turner from the website Poly.Land and also author of a new book Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory. We stumbled across Page via Fetlife, when Floss came across her post Homing Pigeon Primary:Good Things Are Hard To Screw Up which was cross-posted from the Poly.Land blog. Since then Floss has been an avid reader of Poly.Land, and was very keen to give Page’s book a read once it was released.

Polyamory is hard to miss as a lifestyle choice and subject matter when you join the kink scene, there is a fairly sizeable amount of kinky people who are either polyamorous, or have some kind of ethical non-monogamous activity within their relationships. With that in mind it has been important to cover polyamory at some point, finding the right people to discuss certain topics is important though, so we were delighted when Page said she would be happy to come and chat with us for an episode.

We cover some general things with Page like what inspired her to start her blog and how that progressed into her book. Also on a more personal level we discuss how she got into polyamory in the beginning and how she has navigated to the point she is at now.

Other topics we cover are some poly top-tips, and some useful resources, (other than Page’s own blog and book), which are recommended for people who are interested in exploring polyamory, or even just starting a conversation about potentially opening up. Some of the resources we mention are:

We also touch upon the controversial question of can you learn to be poly or must it be our natural leanings, parting ways gracefully. the beauty of compersion and meeting Stephen King. Bakji also tries to make quick fire questions poly related, which doesn’t really work, but we try and roll with it anyway.

Our email is hello@proudtobekinky.com, and you are welcome to use that for podcast comments or questions, or even just general kink related questions if you think we can be of assistance. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook.

If you have listened to all of the #ProudToBeKinky episodes and are looking for new podcasts to check out, then please tune in to some of the other podcasts in the Podcast Jukebox Network; Off the Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks With God. We all appreciate lovely reviews being left for us too if you listen on iTunes.

Episode #27: Swinging, Prostates & Bisexuality with Cooper S. Becket

Swinging is our focus this week, as we are joined by Author Cooper S. Beckett. He has written three books ‘A Life Less Monogamous’, ‘Life on the Swingset’ and ‘Approaching the Swingularity’. When we have an author on the show we always attempt to read as much of their work as possible, once again we were blown away by how much we enjoyed Cooper’s writing.

There is often a lot of me, us, them amongst the varying subsets of alternative lifestyles. BDSM lifestylers aren’t always swingers, swingers aren’t always polyamorous and polyamorous folk may neither swing or be kinky. Some people however might be all three. Part of why I loved chatting with Cooper is that he wants us all to pull together. People outside of all three of those groups are likely to be judging us, and not kindly. The last thing we need is to be turning on each other as well.

Myself and Bakji are not swingers. We are non-monogamous kinksters who have been fascinated only by each other for a fair while now. Swinging wasn’t really something either of us had ever really considered ‘our thing’. However after reading Cooper’s books and chatting to him, we are actually talking about the fact that this could be fun for us. At the end of the day we love making new friends, we enjoy being sexy and perhaps we could learn more about a lifestyle that could be great for some of our listeners.

In this episode we talk about who might benefit from opening their relationship and what things you should be considering before, during and after opening up. We also talk about jealousy and what it can mean for us when that feeling is present and what we can do to work through that with our partner/s.

If you’re new to non-monogamy as a concept it can be easy to box up each subsection of it and see them as completely different entities, however as we talk to Cooper we discuss they notion of it being more a spectrum that you can move back and forth along depending on the types of people you meet and relationships you engage in.

As the social and interpersonal podcast we are always wondering what is it about each episode that might encourage or help people get themselves out and about and making like minded friends, and/or partner/s. While we don’t yet have all the advice on swinging we will do our best to help you find the answers should you be interested in getting your swing on.

You can also check out Cooper’s Podcast ‘Life on the Swingset’ for more information. On the subject of other podcasts, we are now part of the podcast network Podcast Jukebox, with our sister podcasts ‘Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM Podcast’, the ‘Will Sean Podcast’ and ‘Parking Lot Radio’. Please do give them all a listen. After you’ve listened to us though, we want to be your favourite.

All feedback is welcomed, as are questions relating to the podcast or about kink in general. You can email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com, or you can get in touch through any of our social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. You can also support us on Patreon, which will enable us to grow the podcast and reach more curious kinksters and help them get their kink on.

You can listen to us on iTunes, acast, soundcloud, stitcher and most other podcast apps. If you have any problems find us then please do get in touch. You can also find out more about the beginnings of the podcast here, which also includes links to listening platforms and our social media accounts.