We’re having a gang bang
We’re having a ball
We’re having a gang bang
Against the wall
We’d like you to join us
It’s part of the fun!
Oh a gang bang is the thing to do
But it takes more than one
Gang Bang by Black Lace
I’ve never been involved in a gang bang but I did once get invited to one, assuming that is we believe all we see in Fetlife profiles. A chap once messaged me and explained he organised gang bangs and havin looked at my profile he decided I’d probably be a good candidate for one of his events. Now I’m not in the habit of believing anything I’m told on Fetlife, but his profile supported his claims and for the sake of this post I’m going to assume he was telling the truth.
I didn’t often reply to Fetlife messages but I do recall sending this particular person a polite no thank you and he seemed absolutely baffled by the fact I didn’t want to take advantage of his amazing offer. He pointed out that he only picked STD free guys that were good looking and with nice dicks. He also couldn’t understand why a woman on a site like Fetlife who has sexy pictures up wouldn’t want to be fucked by a group of strange men because another strange man said it would be fun for her. Even though nowhere in my profile did I say I was into gang bangs, in fact, nowhere in my profile did it say I was looking for sex of any kind.
The truth is when I think of a gang bang my reaction to it has never been ‘yes please’. The main reason being I’ve never had a desire to have sex with men I don’t know on some level and I’ve never known enough guys all at once to have had the inclination to want to be in a gang bang with them all at once. Now had I stayed non-monogamous I suspect that might have changed, I was definitely on my way to knowing enough awesome men for a gang bang.
I also realise I’m being extremely heteronormative in my language surrounding gang bangs and that’s only because for a long time gang bang in my mind equally one woman and many men. So that’s always been what I’ve been saying no to. My time in both this blogging community and the kink community has of course shown me that there are absolutely other configurations of gang bang and perhaps had those opportunities presented themselves I would have far more likely to want to be involved.
For example, a FemDom gang bang where multiple FemDom’s fucked a willing submissive until they were nothing but a sticky puddle of come? Hell yeah, I would have been into that. A gang that was all women, that maybe turned from gang bang to orgy? Um, yes please. In fact, I think I could have been inclined to say yes to any gang bang configuration that isn’t the one I immediately think of. I think my desire for self preservation rules when it comes to a gang bang where I am the one woman amongst cisgendered straight men.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a dislike of cisgendered straight men. I have babies with two men who identify that way, have been sexually involved with a few more too. All my longest & most committed relationships have been with straight, cis men but that doesn’t change the fact that overall they’re the group they makes me feel most vulnerable and least safe. I know it’s not all men, if I thought it was all men then I wouldn’t be with Mr F right now, or have the friends I do. Truthfully though I wouldn’t trust my safety to a group of men I don’t know for a gang bang.
I definitely don’t fancy organising a gang bang now, it’s not something on the list of things Mr F and I would like to do together. Strangely enough I could imagine sharing him should he ever be inclined to want to explore with others sexually but I don’t particularly want to share myself anymore. I don’t if I’m still on some sort of monogamy high after not doing it for so long, but I enjoy the fact that no one else gets to fuck me except Mr F. It makes me feel all warm and tingly and thinking about the fact that the only place I can get sex is with him turns me on and the idea of having a few other dudes get in on the action does not do anything for me at all.
That said I absolutely understand why it is a turn on for others and I hope anyone who has a deep, carnal craving for a gang bang can make it happen one day. I’d love to rock up on someone’s blog one day and read about their gang bang adventure, especially if it was a blogger I know and love. Now it sounds like I want to arrange gang bangs for everyone, which I don’t, well not really, but if I couldn’t safely help facilitate gang bangs for friends I totally would. Always nice to put a smile on someone’s face no matter how you go about it.