You can never feel
all of the ways in which I love you,
just as you can never touch the infinite stars,
but I promise you my love,
that I will light your skies,
and show you every one.
Word by a.r. asher
CW: Pregnancy, Body Image & Crap Social Opinions
It’s a given that your body will change when you’re pregnant, but in what ways and by how much is totally unknown when you begin that journey. The changes I’ve seen in this pregnancy are vastly different to the ones I went through in my first pregnancy.
With my first pregnancy, I mostly just got my bump and really not a lot else happened. After my pregnancy my body was pretty recognisable as my pre-pregnancy body, the only main change that remained afterwards was my previously barely-there a-cup boobs were now a much fuller a-cup. Which was for me a very happy change.
This time though, all the body parts have changed. I am currently all bump and boobs, but I’ve also noticed my bum and my thighs are trying to catch up with them. There are folds and curves in places there never have been before, the cellulite is real and my stretchmarks are multiplying.
None of this detracts from the fact my pregnant body is awesome. I’m not trying to stop my body from changing in these ways and I’m not sat worrying about how I’ll get my old body back, because honestly I don’t think I will and that’s okay.
I’ve noticed though is that lots of pregnancy apps and email are obsessed with us getting our bodies back into our pre-pregnancy shape. Which is damaging on so many levels and I refuse to be part of it.
For me, the focus is obviously on body changes during pregnancy but I know this stretches far beyond that and society has super shitty opinions on how our bodies should look. There’s also the added garbage that to some degree if you have been pregnant then it’s ‘acceptable’ to have some stretch marks and a bit of tummy.
The truth is our bodies change for all sorts of reasons and I don’t think we should be gate-keeping stretchmarks of all things. Most of the ones I had before this pregnancy did not come from my first pregnancy, they just appeared as my body changed over the years. Not to mention the fact that stretch marks are something anyone can get, regardless of gender, so while they can be a testament to the babies our body carried they are also just a symbol of living and growing.
This is just a tiny amount of commentary of a huge issue, one that I could never adequately cover in one blog post, or in fact at all, because I don’t have the experiences that others do when it comes to body shaming and feeling policed over how we should or shouldn’t look. I think it would be impossible for me to go through this pregnancy without touching upon some of these thoughts though and how they relate to my current situation.