‘If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all: Read a lot and write a lot.’ – Stephen King
I love Stephen King and part of that is because I love to see how he divides opinion. Not only between those people like me who love his writing and those who absolutely do not rate him but also opinions differ dramatically between his fans about which books are his best and why. I’ve seen many people say he is over-rated as a writer, but quite frankly I have the same thoughts about many other popular writers too, so I think honestly that is a very subjective opinion. If you know anything about his success though you cannot deny that he worked for it and I personally think he is a phenomenal storyteller. I also think the quote chosen from him for this week’s Quote Quest has a lot of truth to it.
I will start by saying I think you can be a writer without reading lots. I have heard some people say that if they read others’ work they can be too heavily influenced by that writer’s story or style that their own work will deviate too much from how they would like it to be or how it normally reads. I think that’s valid and writing as with many other hobbies shouldn’t be a ‘one size fits all’ type of scenario.
However, if you are inclined towards reading I think doing so as often as time allows can be massively beneficial to your writing. Now I’m not sitting on a buttload of successful novels, so I’ll stick with what I know and talk about blogging. Which I’m by no means a pro at, but I’m doing alright at it I reckon and I’ve definitely improved a lot since I started and I owe a lot of that improvement to visiting and reading other people’s sites.
I am quite happy to admit that if I saw someone else doing something that improved my visit to their site or enhanced the readability of their work then I would go back to my blog and my writing and see how I could incorporate that for myself. To be clear I’m not talking about original ideas or something so unique I blatantly stole it, just the kind of things that are available to us all but that we haven’t all thought to utilise.
There are a lot of reasons to start writing and they are all valid. Many folks aren’t looking for success or to hone their skill as a writer, they simply just need a space to get things off their chest and when that is the case I say no matter your abilities just write your thoughts down and set them free. Of course if you’re looking for professional success, paid opportunities and validation of your skills as a writer then, yes, you will need to work hard, seek out constructive criticism and do what it takes to carve out the path to success that helps you achieve your goal.
If you’re in the first set of folks though, the ones who just need to share their thoughts, I think the writing world can often seem a little pretentious with gatekeepers all around deciding who should stay and who should go. It makes complete sense that we won’t all enjoy the same work, but I personally think we should be welcoming those with all levels of writing skills and not condemning those who don’t quite measure up to the standards we set for ourselves.
I also think one of the things we struggle with as sex bloggers is keeping our blog on topic. Especially if we’ve gained some sort of notoriety or reputation within the community as being good at, or knowledgeable of a particular type of writing or content. For a long time I was all about kink writing and FemDom content. All of which I am very proud of, but that’s not where I am any more and that isn’t the type of content you will find in my new writings. I also don’t write much erotica these days either. I apologise for none of this.
It took me a long time to find my rhythm and voice for non-fiction posts and it is actually something I never thought I’d manage. Now though, I love sharing my thoughts on various topics and while 2020 has somewhat deflated my blogging mojo I can’t imagine not having this space available to connect with you all.
I know the blog has changed a lot this year and I suspect the next few months will bring with it even more changes. I am growing a tiny human in my belly as we speak and it is a wild ride I can tell you. Vastly different to when I was pregnant with small human and you better believe it has affected my sex life, sensitivity and experiences during masturbation. So I will absolutely be discussing that soon. Asides from that though another pregnancy, especially one with someone I absolutely adore is something I NEVER imagined I would be blessed with. My relationship with Mr F is so beautiful I feel like it is a gift from a higher power. I know this all sounds ridiculous, but ridiculous, grand explanations are the only way I have to express the enormity of what I have in my life at the moment.
I’d love to encourage other folks whose lives and situations change to do the same. I know it can be hard if you started off all about the sexy stuff to then merge that same space into a place for non-sexy words, but honestly I love reading those posts from blogs I follow. Even if they’re tough posts about hard times, I’d rather you shared if you want rather than bottle up the words that might be cathartic to release.
In summary, my advice to anyone who wants to write is … just start writing, don’t let the gatekeepers put you off, make as much or little out of this journey as you want to. Write about the good and the bad, don’t be scared to move people in ways they didn’t expect, and more importantly don’t be scared to move yourself in ways you never could have imagined possible.