I felt this gravitational pull towards you,
like the universe and the galaxies had a talk,
and finally said,
‘yeah, it’s time.’
Words by Gawn Birdie
I’ve started this post many times now, and it shouldn’t be a hard post to write, because it is a good news post. The trouble is I’m struggling to stick to the main points and not get carried away in telling you lots of tiny details that might make less sense to all of you than they do to me. So maybe I should keep it brief, and let details unfold as time goes on, which I’m sure they will.
The short version is this … I am now officially someone’s girlfriend! Mr F and I lay in bed on Thursday night and finally found our way to having a conversation about where we were relationship wise and it was awesome and lovely and it has filled me with joy.
Last week’s F4Thought topics was regrets and hindsight, and that topic has stayed with me even once my post was written. I don’t regret having tried alternative relationship models. I have learnt a lot through exploring non-monogamy and I will always support people having healthy and happy relationships that make sense to them. I have known, perhaps for longer than I’ve been able to admit, that I didn’t want another non-monogamous relationship and thankfully Mr F feels the same.
I have spent a long time off the relationship escalator, and indeed thought I perhaps would never follow the social norms of relationships again, but there is a reason I never say never in life because you really just don’t know when things are going to change. They have changed for me and it is wonderful and I feel so freakin’ happy I could explode.
I think I had forgotten how nice it can be for someone to want to show you off and be excited to have you meet their friends and family. To have someone reeling off the names of people I will need to meet because they are important to him and so I am, is the sweetest thing ever. I think I had glossed over the reason people often do that and had gotten used to the notion that it was just following a pattern set out for us by the rest of the world. In reality, why wouldn’t we want to share the good things we have in our life with all the people we love.
For the first time in a long time, life feels very straightforward and there’s a calmness in my belly that I have sorely missed, perhaps without even knowing it was absent. I am so excited to do life together. To not only have adventures together and sexy times together but every day, regular experiences together.
I feel truly, deeply, not wondering how long it will last happy. I know there are no certainties in life, but I am content to not concern myself with what-ifs and just focus on the future we can start to build together. It’s big, maybe huge, but it feels easy and obvious and as if it really the only option in the world.
All of this combined with the fact he makes my cunt as happy as he makes my heart is just all the more reason to be absolutely delighted that I get to be all his.