I’ve read three posts on anal sex this past week. It started with this beauty from Girl on the Net, followed up by The good, the bad, and the anal by Cara Thereon and then when I perusing the Sinful Sunday posts I read Reclaim my arse by Sweetgirl. These are all interesting posts for me because as I have previously discussed, I have not yet had a complete experience of anal sex. In fact, up until very recently, it was closer to a hard limit than it was to anything I’d like to try.
When I started my adventures in fuckery, with the now aptly named Mr Fuckery, I did mention that anal wasn’t really my bag. Which wasn’t a problem, seems it wasn’t really his thing either. Communication done, we both know where we stand, how excellent, so how is it that his finger has been in my ass and I feel certain that one day his dick will follow.
I don’t know if this is personal development or if it’s insanely good sexual chemistry at work, but god damn I want that man to fuck me in all the ways possible, including the kind that means his dick sliding into my ass. We’ve started slow, first is was a tentative finger massaging my asshole, then one day in it went and OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!!! It was intense. I honestly didn’t know how to process all the extra sensations I was feeling.
We’ve done the finger thing a few more times since and it amazes me how easy it feels with him. One of the times I couldn’t get however how simple it seemed for him to slide in and out of me. I know one finger might not seem like a lot, but in the past, even that would have felt uncomfortable or painful. There his finger was though, in, out, harder, faster and the whole time my body is just accepting it and revelling in how it felt.
I think about anal a lot when I am on my own and masturbating. Which I do a lot more these days because we can’t fuck every day and I can’t go a day without thinking about fucking him. So masturbating over thoughts of him is my only option sometimes. I think about lots of things, but him fucking me in the ass achieves almost instant results.
The time we seemed to fully decide to embark on this adventure, he’d sent me a message detailing a dream he’d had where he’d fucked me in this way and I couldn’t get over how hot it was reading about how he had those thoughts in his mind. I knew there and then that I wanted us to try it if indeed he was up for it as well. We have since had a few message exchanges involving my ass and its availability and it never fails to turn me on.
Prior to these conversations, I’d sent him a picture of me wearing a butt plug while he was on the longest holiday of my life. Did you know when you’re super hot for someone 2 weeks last approximately 5 years? He’s away again at the moment, I have to not see him for 5 days, which will feel like two years! Pictures are a good way to keep up the momentum we have built between us and the butt plug images definitely did that.
My header image is a cropped version of one I sent him, all the others are strangely for his eyes only. Despite all the images I’ve shared on the blog these ones, of my ass plugged and my cunt on full display just feel far too intimate to be displayed here.
When I put the plug in, which was the first time I’d done that in a very long while, I did actually enjoy it. There was some getting used to it again, though this particular plug is extremely comfortable for me, after that though I wondered if I could do enjoy some other kinds of anal play on my own, to help us along the way.
I started with my own finger, whilst the Doxy was on my clit and my index finger was in my cunt I started to slide my middle finger slowly into my lubed ass. At this point, I was about halfway to an orgasm, so I felt very turned on and I’d be talking out loud about sucking his dick, having him come on me, the usual things I say to woo myself into coming. As my finger went inside, I changed my chatter to talk of his dick being in my ass and when I say I came hard to all of this, holy fuck folks, I came so hard it took my breath away, which isn’t a normal occurrence for masturbation.
I know the times I’ve tentatively tried this before it hasn’t worked because I wasn’t relaxed and I didn’t really want it, I was largely always doing it to appease someone else and to get them to shut up about trying anal. To be trying it with someone out of desire clearly makes a whole load of difference, and the fact I can be actively fucked in the ass, even with just a single finger gives me high hopes for the future of ass fucking.
He also makes me feel unbelievably relaxed, not just with fucking, but in general. One of the things I always enjoyed about FemDom sessions was how it silenced my brain, I loved the focus that came with topping Bakji and it was freeing to shut out the world for the duration of a session. What I never expected was to discover that kind of calm just by hanging out with someone!
As someone who has a brain that brings anxiety along for the ride, including at bedtime, which means disordered sleep is a big thing in my life, the idea of my brain just going quiet is baffling. The fact it has, on more than one occasion, gone quiet enough for me to sleep through the night is a testament to how freakin’ chilled this dude makes me. Honestly, if I can lie beside him at night, fall asleep and not wake up until morning and not recall my dreams the next day, then I can absolutely relax enough to let him fuck me in the ass.
In reading the three posts I linked to at the beginning of this post I felt a lot of things. Firstly, even as an anal noob, I could see where GOTN was coming from. All of what she said made complete sense and I can only envisage those sensations increasing the further into this we go. Secondly, when I read Cara’s post I felt comforted by the fact that sometimes these incredible moments happen with people we may not be destined to be with forever.
A lot of people upon reading my recent posts have commented or got in touch saying ‘wow, this seems like the start of something special’, no who knows, maybe they’re right. Got to say though, knowing the more intricate details of our set-up I’m still preparing myself for it to end in chaos. I do not see how I can possibly get to keep something this good, it feels too good to be true in all honesty, in so many ways, not just from a sexual point of view.
Then I read Sweetgirl’s post though and I know her and Mr H have something special and for the briefest of moments my heart races, my cunt twitches, my mind wanders, my tummy flutters, my skin tingles and all of me unites in thinking ‘what if’, what if anal sex is just one small part of a much bigger adventure and that my friends is why I think I’m destined for a fall, that ‘what if’ shows much that I am hoping for so much more than I can possibly get.
On the plus side though I can almost certainly get fucked in the ass in the near future and that is definitely a moment I am looking forward too!