I’ve written about pain and masochism before, both in the posts linked to and within a variety of other posts on other topics, but as with many of the current topics being presented by some of my favourite memes the Tell Me About topic of pain is very timely.
Many folks paired their post on pain, with their Kink of the Week post on marks, which makes a lot of sense. I chose not to do that because for me the two aren’t always linked, in fact, a lot of the pain I enjoy won’t result in marks at all.
When I decided to go on my kink hiatus pain amongst other things was something I was quite happy to step away from for the time being, especially as it had become something I indulged in less often than my sadistic streak. I had no idea, none at all that a new journey with pain was just around the corner.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m exploring many sexy things with my new friend in fuckery, perhaps I will have to think of a better way to reference him if I keep mentioning him! Our initial encounters were, and I expected them to remain, fairly kink free. What I didn’t do though was hide what kinks I have and what I’ve enjoyed in the past. I never shared with the intention of bringing him to the dark side, I just have no reason to keep those kinds of things secret.
What it seems happened is in sharing I unlocked something within him that has been the most fun to be on the receiving end of. As I sit typing this my nipples are throbbing, if I brush them gently with my fingers they are sore as fuck. They have been pinched, bitten, licked and sucked until they are almost too sensitive for any more attention and my nipples aren’t the only body part that have been under sexy attack.
I’m not sure who giggles most when I’m the receiving end of this attention, it hurts, it genuinely does but my goodness it is so much fun, not only because I enjoy the way my body processes pain but because he seems to be enjoying learning these new tricks and having me as a new toy to play with.
It’s is undeniable that pain turns me on, biting and nipple pain are probably the two types of pain that I find most intrinsically linked to sexual arousal. Impact play can turn me on, but it is also something I do for the sport of it, where endurance and personal achievement are the reasons for my masochism.
I don’t know how I feel about pain for pain’s sake at the moment, but the pain that comes right before, during and even after a seriously good fucking? That I am very open to. One of the things I mentioned I liked during our conversations, which I have never really done as much of as I wanted to, was face slapping. Face slapping is not for everyone and the reasons for enjoying it aren’t exclusively linked to pain. Those perfectly placed slaps that make my cheek sting though are definitely cunt twitchingly good.
Of all the things to embark on with a new play partner, face slapping is perhaps one of the things I was least expecting, but he’s good at it, in terms of technique and timing and last time we played he got me so good my cheek stung for at least a full minute after his hand had left my face.
There has also been scratching and hair pulling, both of which register on my pain scale as super freakin’ hot. All of this happens not because we came together as kinksters with pre-negotiated kinks and limits on the table before we started playing, but because when we get naked and start to fuck these things just seem to have started happening naturally in ways that please us both.
Obviously, I do support negotiating kinks before play and following a code of safe practice like RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) or PRICK ( Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink) and there have been conversations about how much is too much, and limits, and safewords but in total honesty I didn’t come at any of this from that angle, because sometimes I think you just have to follow your instincts and let things play out organically, which for the most part is exactly what we’ve done.
I’ve also discovered a new type of masochism, one that comes from lots of fucking. It’s hard to say how much fucking there’s been, but it’s more than I’ve probably ever had before. We also seem to go for long stretches of time and the orgasms I receive are intense and many. The result of this is body aches, oh my goodness it aches like I’ve been to the gym for a workout. The day or so after fucking I can have all sorts of aches in all sorts of places, depending on positions used and body parts targeted and it feels so good. It’s the kind of satisfying hurt that nourishes my soul and I bloody love it.
Masochism was my doorway into kink and as such, I suppose it’s my longest-standing kinky interest, but stepping back from kink has shown me that all my kinks are enhancements and not necessities. I love pain but I love pleasure more and if I had to choose between the two it would be no choice at all.