[That’s My Kink] Not Being Kinky


Life, That's My Kink / Thursday, October 24th, 2019

I realise the title of this post is probably completely baffling and I’ll be honest this isn’t the kind of post I thought I’d be writing when I embarked on my That’s My Kink posts at the beginning of the year. Things change though and I think this is a post I need to write and until I’ve written it I don’t overly see how I will move forward other posts about kink. 

When I started That’s My Kink at the beginning of the year I compiled a list of all the kinks I had, some that I regularly partake in and some I was keen to try. As the months have gone by other ideas came to me and I wrote posts I hadn’t envisaged as being part of the series. What I didn’t foresee is getting to this point in the year and not wanting to write about kink at all. I look at that list now and I just don’t know what to say about any of the things on it. 

I started writing about my thoughts of kinky scenes for the most recent Tell Me About and I just felt frustrated and totally unexcited about the whole process. I have planned more kinky scenes than I can even count and I’ve loved every one of them, but right now, I just feel tired and anxious when I think about getting myself into FemDom mode and navigating a scene. 

The last few months have been … interesting, shall we say. Nothing awful has happened, there are no major changes to report but my muggle life has somewhat taken over for the first time in a very long time and it has left me with very little kink libido. 

I have mentioned before that the job I started in October of last year has captured my attention more than I would have imagined. Not only that but I am good at it, I am well-liked and I am being encouraged to improve, take on more responsibility and I can see a future for me there should I wish to take things in that direction. I have made friends there too and liking my colleagues makes putting the effort in even more worthwhile. 

What this has meant is that at the end of a long day, or week my brain cannot really focus on many of the things it used to see as a priority. When I was only working 15 hours a week making the blog, podcast and kinky adventures my priority (after my son of course) was easy. For the first time in my son’s life and in fact my own I am in a position where I can see a future where I am financially in a good position, I can see a future where he can see me achieving something and those things are honestly the driving force in why I’m willing to commit to my muggle job right now. 

This isn’t me giving up my blog, I couldn’t, ever, I don’t think. I love what blogging has given me, but I can blog about all sorts and still be part of the sex blogging community. For one I can blog about sex. Also relationships, I can write erotica. My well of creativity for FlossDoesLife is honestly wide open and endless. It has however always been kink heavy and it’s the kink that is seeming like the biggest struggle at the moment. 

For a little while now, certainly the last two months, maybe longer, my kink libido has been diminishing. My desire to actively discuss it is even less active. Which makes blogging and podcasting about kink the last thing I want to do.

Having a severely lacking kink libido also doesn’t make me the best sexy friend to Bakji right now, because our entire dynamic is based on us both being kinky and while a dry spell here and there is something we can definitely weather. An indefinite hiatus of my kink desires would present us with a potentially difficult conversation. When you have an unconventional relationship, all the conventional things do not keep you together. With that in mind, I want to believe that my kinks are just around the corner waiting for me, but what if they’re not, what if I’m just not in that headspace any more? For someone who suddenly discovered kink out of nowhere, it suddenly going away again doesn’t seem like an impossible situation for me. Which given the fact I’ve built my life around kink is a scary prospect. 

My social life (outside of work, because that has a social life attached to it) is solely based on my being kinky. That’s not to say my kinky friends wouldn’t want to hang out with me doing other things, but a lot of our good times together happen at kinks events, and at the moment I just do not have the desire to go to them. Even though I know I could go for the social element, I just don’t feel like being submersed in kink.

Which begs the questions, what am I in the mood for? A quick glance at my recent posts would probably reveal that answer. All the sexy fuckery without the kink seems extremely appealing right now. It’s as if my body and my brain have gone back to basics, hell even thinking about the more ‘vanilla’ stuff makes masturbation more fun at the minute and that’s saying something. 

I have no idea how or why my sex libido went up and my kink libido went down, but apparently, it has and it’s making life a little strange because the uncertainty of how long this phase will last leaves me with more questions than it answers. If my life were different then I don’t think this would even be a passing concern, but even the tagline of my blog is ‘Blogging and Podcasting About Kink, Fetish and BDSM’. So much of who I am has come from being kinky and while I’m not scared for my life to change again, it wasn’t a change I was preparing for, so suddenly feeling so un-kinky is just bizarre. 

I’m not that worried about it overall, as I said in Destiny, Decisions and Being a Devil I truly do believe that I will end up where I am meant to be. I wrote this post more to let you all know that I just don’t really feel like writing about the kinky stuff so much right now. Perhaps it doesn’t matter, perhaps no one would even notice the change, it matters to me though that those of you who might have noticed a change know that I am okay. I am actually in many ways doing wonderfully, I just perhaps need to tweak the tagline of my life a little to feel content.

Find More of Floss’ Kinks

8 Replies to “[That’s My Kink] Not Being Kinky”

  1. Just let it happen, Floss, and go with the things that life brings you. I believe everything happens for a reason, but I also believe if we fight some things too hard, we lose track of who we are. And… just as side note: don’t you dare stop blogging! 😉

    Rebel xox

  2. Ebbs and flows. High tide, low tide. Hungry full. I could go on but the point is everything in life moves and vacillates. I’m glad to hear you’re well and enjoying your job. I had noticed a different tone to your posts though I couldn’t put my finger on what was different. I’m certain that your love of kink is just dozing at the moment and that it will awaken at some point.

  3. I think it’s cyclical. If you don’t need kink in your life right now, you are right to park it. It would be crazy to force it. What is ‘fun’ fluctuates. Do You!
    Super stoked that your career is taking off in a good direction too.

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