Our minds are wonderful things, as seen from all the vibrant, insightful and deliciously sexy blogs I follow. When you meet someone new their mind is completely unknown to you, and little by little as you get to know someone more and more of their inner self is revealed. For me this sometimes means being handed wonderful gifts that I can store away for future use should opportunity and consent also come my way.
Most people will know that when Bakji and I first began playing together he was the Top and I was the bottom. This was a dynamic we maintained for close to a year before I began learning Shibari in an effort to try Topping him and the result of that was my burgeoning and undying love of FemDom. In all those months when he was the top I still had many questions about his switchy interests. I wanted to all about what made him tick as a sub and was equally fascinated by the stimulus and equipment he used for masturbation.
I was only briefly aware at the time that I was collecting vital information, and any awareness I had of that did not pertain to what I would use that information for. It all seemed highly relevant though so I remembered and I continued to ask questions and in many ways getting Bakji to divulge his desires to me became a kink in and of itself.
When I began Topping Bakji it didn’t take long for me to realise, though I may not have admitted it out loud, that one of the things I was keen to do was dig around in his brain and fuck with it a little, or a lot. I knew I had access to information that gave me power over his mind in a scene and I wanted so desperately to use it.
We talk often and we talk openly about all our kinky thoughts and eventually, I came to know that I could indeed indulge in this desire with Bakji. I knew where his limits lay and I knew what moments were and were not going to be suitable for this kind of play.
One of the first kinks that truly opened up the possibility of mindfuckery was needle play. We had agreed to play with needles, it was something Bakji had done before, yet when the time came the look on his face was definitely at odds with the reaction of his cock. His face seemed apprehensive, he seemed like it was ready to explode from joy. What I had at that moment were endless opportunities to fuck with him. I could do the obvious thing and engage in the needle play, but I could also hold back, keep him on edge and make him wonder if and when the pain would actually come.
I’ve talked a fair few times about humiliation on the blog and actually that is a large part of the mindfucker I enjoy. Fear also plays a part though and we definitely have plans to play with this more.
Certain kinks lend themselves better to mindfuckery than others, though two willing minds are really all it takes. For us, all the branches of medical play are great opportunities to indulge in this particular kink. We’ve discussed a potential scene, that I’ve had has a fantasy for a while, and Bakji’s response to it is that he is definitely up for it, and he also can’t wait to feel a bit scared and fucked up.
I love that by discussing these things I am able within the realms of limits and consent to be a little bit unpredictable. When we engage in the medical scene we have planned for some point in the future, I flex my theatrical muscles a little bit and indulge in very definite bad girls behaviours that would be considered improper in polite society. Which as I’ve discussed previously is at the core of many of my kinks. The ability to ‘act out’ and behave in a manner which isn’t part of my everyday being.
There are some kinks that have been on my kinky bucket list for a while, one of them being watersports, golden showers or piss play depending on what your preferred terminology is. I’ve received lots of advice on this kink and despite some good opportunities for it having occurred we still haven’t done it and this past weekend I think I realised why.
In a scene where we had used the chastity cage and the electrastim, Bakji was in a very heightened state of arousal. To a level that isn’t always achievable for a variety of reasons. When he reaches that level of aroused, his facial expressions and bodily reactions are everything I seek in a FemDom scene. His facial expression looks like a mix between anger and pain, and his body looks like it is gripped by some kind of seizure.
I realised at that moment, that I don’t want to wee on him just because I can, in the shower as a planned scene or just when the chance arises. I want to do it when he looks like that. There are key moments where his pleasure looks as if it is physically destroying him and that is when I want to wee all over him. Maybe it’s a bit like adding insult to injury, or maybe I want to claim those reactions as my own in a very animalistic way. I have no idea in truth, What I do know though is that in those moments, I believe that weeing on Bakji would 100% be the action to tip him over the edge into orgasm and that would be invaluable for future mindfucks.
I love teasing Bakji, I love sending his brainy into a spiral of confusion and incoherence as he is gripped by arousal and the desire for more of whatever it is I throw at him. I’m also honoured that he trusts me enough to poke around in his brain and get him all fired up in the ways that amuse me because even though he enjoys everything we do, which is important me, I think a lot of the kinks that involve mindfuckery are more mine than his.
I think it’s worth noting that I am well aware that this kind of approach, when used by someone who is less honourable in their desires, leads to abusive and non-consensual situations. I know some of the language used might put people in mind of manipulative situations where people are coerced into doing things that aren’t in their best interests.
There are lots of things that have brought Bakji and I down this path, but among them is constant communication and total honesty. Over fours years we have bared our kinky souls to the point where anything new we find we enjoy now is discovery made alongside the other person, even if it turns out not to be the other person’s kink.
Bakji is probably the most innately kinky person I’ve ever met. He knew what his kinky desires were before he even knew most of the words associated with them. This is one of the many reasons I find him so fascinating. It also makes this kind of play endlessly entertaining when done with him. His mind is filled with so many beautifully dirty possibilities that I just can’t help myself from delving in and having a good fiddle with what I find.