[That’s My Kink] Fingering


Sex, That's My Kink / Thursday, July 11th, 2019

Of all the activities I have left on my list to write about for That’s My Kink I realised only four of them are directly related to sexual activity. Fingering, oral sex, handjobs and sex toys. Everything else can be enjoyed with or without genital involvement. Feeling a little indecisive I took to Twitter to run a poll to decide with of the four sexual activities I should cover and fingering won. 

Floss#ProudToBeKinky on Twitter

I have a big list of topics to cover for my That’s My Kink series, I’m thinking next up will be something that focuses on a sexual activity so what should I go with? These four are your choices …

In response to the poll, someone posed the following question … ‘aren’t fingering and handjobs the same thing? Both are stimulating someone with your hand, no?’

For me, they are absolutely not the same thing and definitely require separate posts to explore them fully. In part, because one is something I can only do to others, not penis means no handjob for me. Fingering, however, is something I can do to folks with a vulva/vagina and also as a vulva owner I can be on the receiving end of that too. I suppose some folks would argue that fingering can include anyone with an anus, but anal fingering isn’t on my list of kinks and therefore isn’t relevant for this particular series of post. 

The aim of my That’s My Kink posts was always about exploring my own kinks and sharing with my readers why I love them. I’d love to have a more seductive term for fingering, but I really don’t. Regardless of terminology though it is something I absolutely love. Giving and receiving are both joyous. 

Fingering is the very first sexual activity I ever engaged in, with another girl, so I began receiving and giving it at the same time. From that very first experience, I was hooked. I have never fallen out of love with the thrill of fingering someone. It is easily one of the most satisfying and arousing things I can do with someone. 

One of the reasons I am a big fan of fingering is that it is highly effective. I know that all folks with vulvas are into it, and not everyone does get off on it, but the ladies I happen to have engaged it with have been fans of it which means my fingers get a damn good workout and with any luck the person I’m playing with gets a damn good orgasm, maybe even more than one if I bring my A-game. 

I love the control I have over my actions when I’m fingering someone and how that directly affects the responses I get from them. I love slowing things down and watching as they wriggle and whimper for more. I love hearing the noises they make as a direct response to having my fingers buried deep in their cunt. You get this exchange of reactions with all sexy and kinky activities, though the reactions may vary. For me though the very specific nature of my fingers being inside them being the cause of their pleasure sends my joy over their reactions into overdrive. 

There’s also the physical aspects of fingering that I like. I like the warm, fleshy feeling. I like feeling the muscles tighten around my fingers as things start to get good. I love how wonderful and wet things get, and if they don’t, because sometimes nature doesn’t work that way I also love the sensation of lubing a vulva up and feeling my fingers slip and slide as the lube does what it does best. 

I think we all have our own techniques when it comes to sex, all variations of it, and the same is true for me. However, I also enjoy finding out what works best for a specific person. Sometimes it’s more clit action, sometimes it’s less. Sometimes it’s shallow fingering, sometimes it’s deep. I love the adventure of finding out what will cause the most pleasure though, I never, ever tire of it and my level of delight when I find myself someone to play with who I can indulge this interest with is usually very apparent. 

Whilst I am a very giving person, this is also something I love to receive. When I was learning about sex fingering was considered foreplay. My thoughts on ‘foreplay’ could definitely take up an entire post, but suffice to say this is not some I consider a lesser sexual activity or something to do before P.I.V, especially as there is often no penis involved in my sexual encounters. As a receiver fingering is probably the most sexually satisfying things someone can do to me. 

I am definitely into receiving other things too. Chances are though nothing will get me off like someone fingering me. A wide variety of techniques work as well, so I get to revel in a range of orgasmic feelings whilst fingering is underway. All of this is fascinating because I can’t imagine anything more boring and less sexual than fingering myself. 

Masturbation is not on my list of things to write about for That’s My Kink, it will get mentioned fairly often because I like to utilise certain kinks for masturbation. In and of itself though I find masturbation to be quite dull and nowhere near as satisfying as partnered sex. Masturbation always happens with a sex toy, usually my Doxy, which makes it infinitely more appealing than it used to be. If however I was horny and my choice was to masturbate with my fingers or just suffer the horny ache, then the horny ache is staying put. 

Solo fingering does nothing for me. Not because I don’t like touching myself, I’ve spent plenty of time exploring down there and all is good. I sometimes enjoy a relaxing fiddle, just for funsies and not for sexual purposes. I have tried a variety of approaches and no matter what fingering myself is not fun. So I don’t do it. I save my fingers for other people and I revel in the sensations that other people’s fingers cause in me. 

Over the years I’ve seen lots of advice geared towards what techniques work best and what things you should never do when using your fingers to stimulate the clitoris or vagina. I’ve been asked for my input on the subject as well and I always say the same thing. Read all the advice there is, accept that there are different techniques and be prepared to try them all. Everyone is so different it what they enjoy that it isn’t one size fits all when it comes to any kind of sexual pleasure and fingering in no different. 

I’ve seen people declare that going too deep will always be uncomfortable, probably painful and will never result in an orgasm for the person on the receiving end. I respectfully disagree. Bakji has a very particular technique that I am 99% certain involves attempting to gain entry to my cervix. It is incredibly intense, involves lots of swearing and wriggling, but without fails it causing the most thrilling orgasms and a side of squirting too, which isn’t an essential goal for me but does provide its own interesting and pleasurable feeling when it happens. 

With any aspect of sex and kink, I am not a fan of blanket statements. I don’t think one piece of advice is going to work for everyone you want to pleasure. I think it’s far more realistic to learn as much as you can and become adept at communicating about what works and doesn’t, even during the act itself. Which means finding sexy ways to ask about what feels good, what would feel better and what shouldn’t be repeated. 

I think we all have things in our sexual repertoire that we feel more confident engaging in, and equally things we don’t feel like we excel at. You’ll notice that blowjobs won’t be appearing as a kink of mine, and will likely only get the briefest of mentions when I cover oral sex, the reason being they’re not a confidence booster for me. Fingering though? Oh hell yeah, that will get the confidence flowing and the ego boosted in all the right ways. 

One of the things I have enjoyed about playing with others alongside Bakji is that we both have different sexual techniques and it’s so much fun to give someone double the pleasure with our varying approaches. It’s also fascinating to see things that I know he does to me but from a place of coherence rather than from the perspective of a melty sex puddle. 

I think melty sex puddle is a great summary of what fingering means to me. Not only does it turn me into a melty sex puddle but it also gives me the power to do the same to other people and that is something I enjoy very much. In fact, this post has reminded me that I love fingering so much that I might even set Bakji’s hands free during our next FemDom session and that is a rare occurrence. The power of good fingering is real my friends.

Find More of Floss’ Kinks

8 Replies to “[That’s My Kink] Fingering”

  1. Totally agree with your statement that there shouldn’t be any blanket statements when it comes to kink (or any sexual activity really). What works on day may not another… great and interesting post

  2. I have to say exploring how and what turns a person on by pleasuring them with my fingers is also a kink of mine. The thought of this bings back great memories of my early sexual experiences.

    I also like you style of writing and really enjoyed this post.

  3. I love the phrase “melty sex puddle”! How perfect. The first fingering is always so much fun, both giving and receiving, learning what feels good and what really makes them squirm! Great post!

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