Image Via Pixabay
This week’s Erotic Journal Challenge is ‘What Makes You Feel Sexy?’ and I think this question coincides perfectly with a kink of mine that I’ve been patiently waiting to write about for my own series ‘That’s My Kink’.
For a long time, I didn’t feel particularly sexy or even in touch with my sensual and sexual self. I judged that my body shape was all wrong, my sexual responses were too low key and overall I was just for too inhibited to fully understand what it meant to feel sexy. Even when my ex-husband told me I was sexy and encouraged me to wear things that were sexy I still felt distinctly unsexy.
The First Sights of Sexy
Then I found FemDom and there was a lot of self-discovery as I began exploring the joys of topping Bakji and I absolutely did begin to feel sexy. Often I attribute this change in feeling to FemDom but actually, I can pinpoint the more specific element of FemDom that makes me feel sexiest and that is power. That’s right folks, one of my biggest kinks and the thing that makes me feels sexiest is the power I have over Bakji during our FemDom scenes.
Before I proceed though let me make it very clear that Bakji can use his safeword at any time during our scenes, we are constantly talking about what kinks we want to explore and what our limits are and at any given time my main priority is always the welfare and safety of my bottom, be that Bakji or any other person I am playing with.
Not every scene I have with Bakji is accompanied by the ultimate power high when it does happen though it is glorious. It makes me feel a thousand feet tall and as if I could conquer the entire world.
The knowledge that he has willingly yielded to my dominance and has handed over all control of the scene and will do exactly as I say sends a rush of excitement and joy through me that no other kink does. Even thinking about it makes my skin tingle and my fingers twitch and a little voice in my brain is saying ‘yes, that, we love that’.
The list of kinks we can engage in together is fairly long these days and most of the things that induce this feeling in me involve causing Bakji extreme frustration. There is nothing more likely to give me my power high than teasing him relentlessly and edging him to a point where it looks like he a) hates me and b) might cry. It is just such a fucking beautiful moment when I look into his eyes and they are shiny, wide and pleading and I know that I can either continue to fuck with him or allow him to climax and both options hold such joy in them it’s often a difficult decision for me to make.
The joy comes from know that nothing happens without my making that choice. He’s tied up, he can’t free himself, he’s probably gagged, even if he isn’t he’s likely going to be incoherent, his journey, his path in each particular scene we have his navigated by me and to have him trust me in that way allows me to explore the deeper parts of myself.
Seeing is Believing
One of the main reasons that power makes me feel sexy and why it sits quite high on my list of kinks I love is how seen it makes me feel. Some of Bakji’s best reactions have been to my FemDom ego seriously tripping on the power high, and in conversations afterwards, he has noted that not only did he see me in the moments but he thought I was super sexy. Which means it isn’t just me that seeks to experience the power I can uncover during FemDom scenes it’s Bakji too and that just makes me crave it even more.
One of the things I find most interesting about how sexy powergasms make me feel is that very little about my outward self has changed. When I started my explorations in submission as a fledgeling kinkster I was far from embracing the body I was given and I certainly didn’t feel comfortable using that body to turn someone on, let alone being brazen enough to tell them that they found me irresistible.
With FemDom though, and especially with a power surge in progress, I am all over owning my body and making damn sure Bakji knows how hot it is. I will happily grab my own boobs, shove them in his face, remind him that he loves licking them and then tease him for getting hard with he does just that. Which just generates more powergasm points and I edge ever closer to feeling like an omnipotent being.
This kink is a root kink for many others, there are many things I enjoy, that in and of themselves are fun but the biggest reason for me enjoying them is because I have the power to do them. It is the thrill of ‘because I can’, ‘because I’m in charge’ that really gets me off when I slap Bakji’s face or restrict his breathing (safely and with knowledge I might add).
There are quite a lot of things that I see and will suddenly find myself wanting to try, especially things that look weird or a bit fucked up and when I question what it is about them that has grabbed my interest it is usually the same reasoning as above. My internal dialogue going a little like this …
Floss: ‘ooh look at that fucked up thing.’
Power Floss: ‘YES! Get Bakji to do that! NOW!’
Floss: *Sends to Bakji* (because consent matters)
Bakji: *Responds favourably*
Power Floss: *Rises with the strength of a thousand suns ready to be worshipped for administering the fucked up thing.*
I’m not someone who cares for the why of their kinks, I just embrace because I think they’re awesome and I watch with fascination as they develop. This is a kink that I freely admit to because I see no reason not to. I am more than capable of wielding it in a safe manner and only with folks who consent to be the object of my powergasm. It does however often cause raised eyebrows and on more than one occasion ‘oh, yeah, that’s not scary at all’ with a mildly concerned look on their face that I’ve lost the plot. Here’s the thing though, if this was a dangerous personality trait that had me seeking and abusing power in all the wrong ways I probably wouldn’t be blogging about it.
I am blogging about it thought because power is sexy and feeling sexy makes me powerful and god bless kink for helping me find such a thrilling way to enjoy myself.