In my latest piece of erotica Fishnet For Him I was very careful not to make it a forced feminisation story, it was about him choosing his own lingerie, which I am definitely into. It’s sexy as hell seeing a man in lingerie he loves to wear because it makes him feel good. However, it is also very sexy for me to do the choosing. Not only to choose what he wears but when he wears it and that is why Feminisation, both forced and not is my kink.
For the purposes of this kink, I will focus on playing with cisgendered men, purely because that is the only experience I have of this kink. I also want to make it abundantly clear that even when I do ‘forced play’ I have consent to do so. I would never do feminisation, forced or otherwise with someone who has no desire to engage in this kink.
Feminisation is something we have played with a few times and I’ve loved every minute of it. Each time I’ve always selected the clothes for Bakji to wear and for me that is definitely part of the fun. Sometimes it just involves the clothing, other times it includes makeup and a wig. All of the time it involves him look super sexy and very pretty.
One of the things I have repeatedly seen as a problem surrounding ForcedFem is that is isn’t very feminist of us to get involved with it and says a lot about how men who are into view women. I can understand where this viewpoint comes from, but that is not how it works for us at all. Both of us adore and respect women, and all people for that matter, and how we play out our kinks is never about disrespecting others, and more about playing with themes and actions that are not necessarily the done thing in the outside world.
I think for me part of why I love this kind of play has a lot to do with my identity as a queer woman. I am attracted to so many representations of gender and when the societal gender ‘norms’ are combined, for
I’d be lying if I said that’s all this kink was about though. While it is definitely aesthetically pleasing it also plays into the kick I get from being in control. If for our next scene I prepared some lingerie for Bakji to wear and requested he put it on he would do so. Knowing I can present him with lingerie of my choosing, tie him up, put makeup on him and tease him relentlessly about it is incredibly arousing.
As I just hinted to above I do tease him about what he’s wearing and incorporate erotic embarrassment into our scenes. I don’t say humiliation because it’s less about Bakji being humiliated and more about him being shy. He absolutely enjoys dressing in lingerie, and we have much bigger dreams for his feminisation explorations too, but as of yet it’s something we’ve only ever done in private, so showing it the world, or at least threatening to can cause an element of ‘oh no’ to rise within him I think. It also makes him really hard though, so a lot of it is playing along with the scene rather than being genuinely mortified.
Which while we’re on the subject is a totally valid way to enjoy kink, it’s okay for it to be fun and flirty, for you to play along in the moment and embrace feelings during a scene that you have no desire to explore outside of in scene dynamic.
Another part of feminisation that I enjoy is the simple fact of seeing the materials I enjoy on a body I enjoy. Latex, fishnet, lace are all pleasing to my eye and in and of themselves can be arousing, so putting them on Bakji just makes them even sexier.
I asked Bakji what it was about this particular kink he enjoyed and the only thing he mentioned that isn’t something I’ve covered already is how it feels. For him, the way lingerie feels is so far removed from the clothes he wears on a daily basis which increases the sexiness of wearing lingerie. He also noted that as a straight man he’s only every seen lingerie on sexy ladies which is arousing for him, so when he wears them himself that feeling of arousal is transferred to the scene we are enjoying.
There are of course other reasons people enjoy this kink and I can’t speak for all of them, nor is this intended to be an article on the roots and history of forced feminisation as a kink. This is how and why myself and Bakji engage in this particular kink and it is something I am certain will appear in our play sessions in the near future.
It’s also worth noting that Bakji in lingerie is Feminisation for us as part of our kinky play. I wholeheartedly believe that lingerie is for everyone, and if you feel good in it you should wear it.