In my #SoSS post at the weekend I said this;
This weekend we will find out who has made it onto MollysDailyKiss Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2018 List. I can’t deny that I’m hoping to both be on the list, and place higher than I did last year, especially as I think my blog and my content is so much better than it was then. However, the competition is fierce. There is such a wide variety of awesome sex bloggers out there, doing work that stretches far beyond what I can ever conceive of doing, that even if I didn’t make the list being pipped to the post by 100 amazing talents is something I can definitely handle.
And I meant it. Every word, from the bottom of my filthy little heart. I am consistently inspired by and blown away by the talent and creativity of my fellow bloggers.
When Molly published her Top 100 Sex Blogs 2018 I was at work. I work in a very busy kitchen at the moment, making people’s dinners and hopefully making their bellies full and their dining experience enjoyable. This means I generally have very little time to check my phone. When I did glance at it on Friday night, I saw snippets of Twitter notifications that I found to be lovely but perhaps a little overzealous. The last Tweet I had published was about having an #SoSS post scheduled, yet people were giving heartfelt well done’s and congratulations. I was very puzzled.
It was a private message from May More that alerted me to the fact that perhaps I had better check my notifications a little more carefully. When I scrolled through and found the tweet below from Molly I was absolutely gobsmacked.
— Molly (@Mollysdailykiss) November 30, 2018
At No.1 is Marie Rebel, who I admire so much. She works tirelessly to give us Wicked Wednesday each week, has spent lord knows how much time working on the Smut Marathon this year, continually provides us with sexy blog posts and on a much more personal note her posts surrounding her grief therapy and the passing of her Mum touch me in ways I would dearly love to write about, one day. Bloggers like Marie who not only pour so much effort into their own writing but also provide us with platforms and inspiration for our own writing are beautiful treasures of this community. To have someone like Marie the only person ahead of me in that list is just the most surreal and amazing thing to me.
Then when I cast my eyes downwards and see who else is on that list I just can’t help but marvel at what I have achieved. To be clear this isn’t me being self-deprecating or in any way being ungrateful for my place. I will be honest and say I started a blog because I thought my writing was worth being shared. I starting writing erotica because I thought I could do better than some I had paid money to read. I don’t believe in false modesty, but I truly see and believe in the valuable voices of my fellow bloggers and it’s how good they are that makes me astounded by this result.
I think many of us in the blogging community are often plagued by imposter syndrome or have moments where we are not sure if we should keep going, or if we are chasing false dreams. I am not exempt from that, it is however rare that I voice those thoughts, to anyone but myself in my own head. The last few weeks those thoughts were nestled in my mind. Why? Comparison. I know better, I really truly do. I am human though and sometimes, especially when I’m tired and not achieving my own personal goals it can be easy to look to others and see their achievements as your failings.
This is so far from the reality of life though that I anger myself for allowing that mindset to ever be present for me. Comparison is toxic to me and on the flipside, there are two words that are nourishing that I am far more inclined towards, thankfully on a more regular basis, gratitude and purpose.
It may sound trite but being grateful for what I have and laying out my own purpose goes a long way to avoiding the trappings of comparison. These are the reasons I support my fellow bloggers with genuine heart and enthusiasm because they are part of what I’m grateful for and encouraging and supporting others is part of my self-proclaimed purpose.
I have spent a lot of time over the last few days in a haze of ‘seriously, No.2 is a bit surreal’ then going back to check I didn’t dream it. I felt like Joey and Chandler from Friends when they discovered free porn and were too scared to turn the T.V off in case it went away. I didn’t want to close down the Top Bloggers List in case it had changed when I reopened it. Part of my pondering though is about what I want to do going forward.
The answer to that is lots. The first item on the agenda and one that is already in motion is to move my blog over to a self-hosted site. I will likely do this over the Christmas period, so 2019 can start as I mean to go on.
In terms of content, the list is endless. I recently shared my love of poetry in one of my recent posts and I think this is something I will be featuring more of and potentially in a move that feels utterly above my station and more than a little pretentious I may have an idea for providing a platform for others to share their poetic verse too. While there is no reason we can’t do that for Masturbation Monday or Wicked Wednesday and actually people do, I would love to try and get people to think about trying a poem or two when perhaps they wouldn’t ordinarily do it. I actually used to run a poetry prompt account on Twitter and I really miss doing that. We shall see if I am brave enough to get this idea up and running!
I realise this is all very Oscars speech outpouring of emotions and I promise I will stop soon, but before I do I think it would be remiss of me to not say one more thing. This post would not even be possible without the hard work of the wonderful Molly Moore and her lovely partner Michael. I cannot wait to say hello to them and so many other bloggers at Eroticon. I’m really not much of a hugger, but I think that weekend I may have to make an exception. Where hugs are welcomed I will be dishing them out to all the amazing people that inspire and support me within this wonderful blogging community.
Finally, thank you to everyone who kindly put my name forward so Molly could consider me for her list and to all my readers, your interactions make blogging so much more than I ever could have imagined it be and I love you all so much for that.
I have included the Top 10 of the list below, which Molly’s comments included, but I really think a visit to the full list is in order because there are some truly awesome blogs right the way through to No.100, I actually think the person at the No.100 spot is my favourite.
1. Rebel’s Notes Rebel has been in the top 10 of this list for that last few years as her blog is always of a consistently high standard however over the last year her writing has taken on a new depth and vulnerability as she has tackled a number of difficult subjects relating to her life including grief, depression and the loss of her sex life due to her husbands illness. She has written about these subjects in such a raw and honest way never shying away from the difficult aspects and that is something I hugely admire about her. As well as this she continues to be a force for good within the community, running Wicked Wednesday and of course this year the amazing Smut Marathon. She absolutely deserves this number one spot for being a truly awesome sex blogger. Follow her on Twitter: @Rebelsnotes
2. Floss Does Life Floss has absolutely wowed me with her blog this year. It is well designed making it easy to navigate around and serving lots of juicy content. Her writing seems to have blossomed over the last 12 months and she has tackled some challenging kink related topics and also written a whole host of truly delicious erotic fiction. She is force to be reckoned this and I am excited to see what the future holds for her and her blog. Follow her on Twitter: @_floss_84
3. Temperatures Rising This is Mrs Fever third year in top 10 of the list which reflects that fact that she continues to write to such a high standard exploring all sorts of topics through think pieces, fiction, pictures and prose. Her writing is exciting, intelligent and thoughtful and I am never not hooked when I read her words. Follow her on Twitter: N/A
4. Girly Juice Again another blog that featured in last years top 10. Kate continues to absolutely be at the top of her blogging game producing well written and diverse content. Follow her on Twitter: @girly_juice
5. Scandarella When I grow up I want to write erotic fiction like Ella Scandal however her blog is not just fiction but has a wonderful mixture of content that includes reviews, personal essays and fiction. Her writing is always excellent no matter the subject or genre but her fiction is some of the most exciting and diverse erotica around. Follow her on Twitter:@ella_scandal
6. Coffee and Kink Amy was one of the two blogs to win the New Voices Awards last year and I had a sneaky feeling that she was going to take that strong start and turn it into something special and she has definitely done that. She writes on a wide variety of topics as well as penning some very sexy erotic fiction. I really think she is one to watch out for in the future. Follow her on Twitter: @CoffeeAndKink
7. By Aurora Glory Last year I had a feeling that Aurora was one of the blogs on the list to watch out for and it seems I was right. Despite having a challenging time in her life she has continued to produce excellent content on her blog including reviews, images and powerful personal essays as well continuing to explore fiction writing too. Follow her on Twitter: @AuroraGloryBlog
8. Sex Matters Another new name to the top ten this year is May More. Her blog design offers up lots of opportunity for you to discover content and when you do what you find is quality writing across a variety of subjects including some truly fabulous erotic fiction. Follow her on Twitter: @more_matters
9. The Beautiful Kind Kendra was in the No.9 spot last year and I am not surprised to see her here again. Her blog is a treasure trove of fascinating content in which she truly shares herself and her life, the good, the bad, the sexy and the not. Her honesty is inspirational in my opinion Follow her on Twitter: @TBK365
10. Pandora Blake Pandora/Blake’s blog truly reflects the diverse nature of the work that she does within the adult industry from making queer porn, sex work, sex educator work and her work for Backlash and the against censorship of adult content on the internet. You find all this and more this blog. Follow them on Twitter:@pandorablake