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The questions for this week’s Food for Thought Friday are all about the 69 sex position. I don’t write much about specific sex acts, but for the sheer fact I have immense feels on the 69 position I am letting loose.
Sixty-nine or 69, also known by its French name soixante-neuf, is a group of sex positions in which two people align themselves so that each person’s mouth is near the other’s genitals, each simultaneously performing oral sex on the other. – From Google
So two of the questions poses over on Food for Thought Friday were; Is it, or has it ever been part of your regular “repertoire”? and What are your views on this particular activity? Yeah? Neah? Meh? I realised answering one would give away the answer to the other, so here goes, my thoughts on the sixty-nine position and probably the answers to both those questions.
I have found myself in a 69 on plenty of occasions. With men and women. I’m fairly certain that on every one of those occasions I’ve wondered how on earth I ended up there. About 30 seconds after that thought the chances are I was bored and totally not feeling the sexy vibes. Yep, this is where I confess I have no love for the good old 69!
I am all for other people doing it, I’m not for one minute saying it’s not good for anyone. I’m just saying it is dull as dishwater for me. Which is perhaps odd because I am a huge fan of all the oral sex. Both giving and receiving, what is it then that makes the 69 fill me with dread?
In every 69 I’ve ever been in someone loses concentration, which is fine, I understand. I love zoning out when I’m receiving oral and I take it as a compliment if the oral sex I’m giving makes the other person just want to lie back and let their mind think of nothing else. As it should be I say. What makes the lack of concentration frustrating in a 69 is the positioning.
I read submissy’s thoughts on this topic and she pointed out that she and her partner were doing the majority of their 69’s on their side. Which I think is a damn good idea. Every partner I’ve done this with though wanted the one on their back, one on top configuration and for some reason, no one ever wanted to be on the top. That gem always fell to me.
For me giving oral sex from that particular angle isn’t satisfying. I can’t get my angle right, I can’t move around as easily when I want to really ‘go for it’ and every time I’d just go climbing off, because they’ve stopped licking my cunt, there’d be a grumble of ‘no, no, come back I want to taste you too.’ Really? Well here’s an idea … how about I give you mind-blowing oral, which can include orgasms but no pressure for that to be what makes it mind-blowing, and then when I’m done you can repay the favour?
Now I’m with Bakji we discuss things in a far better way than I did with any other partner and I suspect I now have a better understanding of why that conversation went down the way it did. I would hazard a guess that part of what they enjoyed about that position was … the view, the feel of my weight on them, the fact I felt closer than if I were between their legs giving oral, perhaps the option of running their hands over my body and much more besides maybe. Those things were never said though. It was always just moaning and whining, with me having very definite reasons for preferring not to 69 and them having zero reasons why they’d prefer to 69.
If I’d been given some solid reasons as to why a partner loved it, I would have been all over embracing the 69. Communication about sexual desires was never a strong point in previous relationships though and ‘because I like it’ really only goes so far when you’re offering up a handful of reasons why you hate it.
Bakji isn’t a 69 fan either. in terms of using it as a position to offer mutual oral sex, mostly because he’s 10% motivated by sexual desire and 90% motivated by being a kinky fucker! However, we do use a sort of 69 for facesitting I suppose. I sit on his face and then often lean down to administer handjobs or a Doxy to his bum.
The third question offered up by Food for Thought Friday for our consideration was; Do you have a particular experience, good, bad or somewhat humorous that you could share with us?
Well as I think I’ve covered, no 69 was ever that good. Thankfully no experience was worse than just losing my mojo a bit from doing it. Since joining the kink scene though I have reflected upon one of the rare times I got to go on the bottom of a 69. The partner in question was a man and was fairly muscular so quite a bit heavier than I was. He was concerned that he would ‘crush me’, but I was determined I wanted to try it. I enjoyed two things about that (short-lived) experience 1) I had no control over how far he pushed his cock into my mouth because I couldn’t pull my head away due to it being pinned between him and the bed and 2) I loved the feeling of being pinned down. When he decided that he couldn’t get into it from that position (funnily enough after this he didn’t bring 69’s up much) I was a little bereft, I wanted that feeling back, the feeling that I was being held down, crushed and controlled. I had zero idea then that there were a whole host of kinks that could offer me similar experiences. As you have probably guessed that wasn’t a kink relationship. It’s interesting to look back though on a me that was not kinky at all and see how it was perhaps lurking under the surface all along, but the situation in which it would show itself just hadn’t arisen.
As well as linking this the Food for Thought Friday link up, I am also sharing it as part of The Oral Sex Project which is being hosted by the wonder Marie Rebel of Wicked Wednesday fame. There are at the time of writing 55 delicious posts about oral sex for you to check out, so why not head on over there and see if you’d like to join in yourself.
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