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I’m a big fan of encouraging self care in others, I think it is really important to look after both your physical and your emotional well-being. Seeing as I realise the importance of this one would think that I am excellent at my own self-care, in this case one would be wrong. I suck at self-care, I’m terrible at identifying I need some me time until I’m so desperate for it that it’s move from nice to necessary. I am trying to be better though and this means knowing what works for me and what doesn’t.
What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?
I like the gym and I like healthy food. Well when I say I like them, I mean it’s tough to stick to them both but oh my goodness they do make me feel so looked after. I mostly cook vegetarian and vegan dinners these days and my body feels so much better for it. I eat a wide range of food, I’m well supplemented where necessary and well versed on what is and isn’t good for me, so no need for anyone to panic that my diet isn’t satisfactory. (As happened when I mentioned vegan cooking on Twitter!)
That said I LOVE sweeties, chocolate and cake and I do not believe in depriving myself of such things. So every now and again when self-care is of paramount importance (and actually sometimes when it isn’t) I will quite happily sit and devour a share size bag of chocolates or a box of Cadbury’s fingers. Which I realise aren’t vegan, which is why I’m just someone who dabbles on occasion and not a strict follower of veganism.
While I’m sat eating my healthy and/or tasty treats I like to listen to audiobooks. All kinds of genres cross my path, I’m currently listening to The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult and before that it was IT by Stephen King (which FYI is one of the best books on the face of the earth). When I’m really looking to just unwind and check out of life for a bit though, Harry Potter is my go to listen. I’ve listened to them all many times over now. As well as reading the paperbacks and watching the movies. It never stops being a feel good story for me though, Stephen Fry narrating feels like a safe place and I love losing myself in the familiar tales, it is a little bit like spending time with old friends.
I also like my self-care time to involve pj’s, blankets, hot water bottles and at least one stuffie to keep me company. I also have Daisy the cat (real life feline not a stuffie) whose cuddles and purrs are like magic and time spent with her is nourishing and revitalising in ways I could never have imagined. Cats are magic.
How regularly do you make time for yourself?
Kind of often, but also not often enough. I’m lucky in that once my little one is in bed of an evening I can have a couple of hours to myself. I do use those hours to wind down and attempt a level of relaxation, but I’m not convinced I always nail it.
I feel like I definitely need to work on a more tranquil level of me time, but I think that is for the future. There’s a lot of life happening at the moment and taking on new me time routines is mildly terrifying on top of all that.
Is your sex life part of your self-care regime and, if so, what part does it play and how?
Not even a little bit! Don’t get me wrong I love sex and kink and they are very wonderful parts of my life, but they don’t really fit into what self-care is for me. They can be cathartic and often therapeutic but not in the same way my me time activities are. Also when I say me time activities I definitely don’t mean masturbation. When my mood is low or I’m in need of some extra TLC, having a wank is the last thing I want to do.
That doesn’t mean no sex/kink during times when my need for self-care might be higher and Bakji is actually amazing at providing things that are really good for taking care of me. He is amazing with cuddles and always thinks of silly games and fun things to make me laugh. Laughter is such an amazing way to feel good and Bakji brings oodles of that to every moment we spend together.
I mentioned on my social media that I was blogging about self-care, and I asked what other people did for their self-care routines. This was purely out of curiosity and not to provide content for the blog, and I was delighted when people started responding. The main reason for that being that it shows that people are thinking about what they need and are taking care of themselves. It’s really easy for life or aspects of life to creep up and overwhelm us. In some cases it doesn’t creep but hits like a Tsunami, in which case self-care might need to be a little more intensive. Whatever people need though I hope they are finding it and making it happen.
If like me you’re not that great at making time or telling loved ones you need that time, don’t chastise yourself for that. There is ALWAYS time to learn to take care of yourself better, and don’t worry if your self-care looks different to other people’s. The most important thing of all is that we are doing what works for us.
This blog post was inspired by this weeks Food For Thought Friday why not check out the blog and see if you’d like to get involved too. I’m also adding it to this weeks Wicked Wednesday link up, even thought it has nothing to do with the prompt and isn’t remotely wicked! However I think it is a subject that many Wicked Wednesday regulars will appreciate.
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