When I saw the Kink of The Week was risky sex I immediately got excited, then I realised I probably don’t have much risky sex and felt a bit deflated. When I sat and pondered my reactions I realised a two things:
- I assumed in my own mind risky sex alluded to things like getting caught
- I assumed sex referred to traditional sexual activity
This was daft because the actually Kink of the Week post included much more that as as inspiration, but I guess my mind was just having a silly pickle moment. It was those assumptions though that left me feeling like this wasn’t a topic for me. While I do enjoy sexual activity in my sexy times, it isn’t always our primary focus when compared to kink activities and it is very rare that it is non-kinky sex. We also don’t engage outdoor sex or any risk associated with getting caught. This is not a reflection on our feelings surrounding other people doing it. It just doesn’t get us off.
Then I remembered that these prompts are open to interpretation (and actually read the KOTW post again which kind of confirmed this) and that is the most fun part of joining in, we get to share our thoughts not only with other, but with ourselves too, as is the case with my thoughts surrounding this particular topic.
One of the reasons I got excited when I saw the prompt is that I was imagining all the sexy posts people would share in response to it. One kind of erotica that always appeals to me is the kind that involves a certain level of risk, or a taboo subject. Recent posts that highlight the kind of themes I enjoy are F Dot Leonora’s own post for KOTW, May More’s recent serial erotica ‘The Curse’ and ‘The Key of Love’ from Lord Raven, one of my top pick from last weeks Wicked Wednesday posts. I love sexy tales that are a little bit dark, twisted and even a little macabre. There is something about taboo and risk that makes me tingle in all the right places, while the rational side of my brain tries to admonish me for being so aroused. Jokes on you brain because I’m also into being admonished.
One of the tales I voted for in the last round of the Smut Marathon was by Violet Fawkes and involved an actual murder, post sex and I honestly found it utterly thrilling. Just thinking about the scenario she described is giving me a twitchy cunt. Which probably has many people fearful for poor Bakji. If that’s what I’m into then can he ever be safe. The answer is yes, absolutely, because my desire to indulge in the risk and taboo of extreme bodily harm, murder and sinister acts to fuel my sexual desire are limited to fiction. Mostly! I say mostly, because those darker, perhaps twisted interests have indeed found their way into my kinky play.
BUT and this but is Disclaimer 1, I do everything that involves any risk with absolute consent, after having done all the research I can and I always, always take things slowly and with great caution. PLEASE do not attempt anything I am about to mention unless you are really confident in your abilities or your partners. Getting edge play wrong can result in serious injury or worse, some of which you may not be able to come back from.
Edge Play – Potentially dangerous activities such as cutting, or breath play, which require careful study and practice before attempting.
One of my favourite activities from the early days of my adventures with Bakji, the days when he always wore his Toppy pants and I was yet to discover the joys of whipping his bum, was the use of what I affectionately referred to as his ‘serial killer rope.’ He would take this rope, place it around my neck and tighten it. I know that there is no version of this or any other world where Bakji would ever be a danger to me. That rope though, oh that rope allows me to believe something different and I love that feeling.
I love the fear that builds in you even when you rationally know your safe, because what if you’re wrong, how can you possibly be so sure that things won’t take a dark turn. In the moment of that rope tightening, never tight enough for me to even come close to passing out, but always tight enough for me to imagine the world go black, in that moment I loved to imagine that things might take a sinister turn
Disclaimer 2: I love life, I have no desire to be murdered, I think murder is horrific, I have a murder in my family history that has shown me how truly awful it’s affects can be, as if any of us can’t imagine the horror it brings. But I cannot help but be aroused by it in a fictional sense.
Another risky thing I enjoy, beyond all measure, is breathplay. Both giving and receiving. Especially giving though. Again getting it wrong would be beyond awful, but getting it right? Getting it right is delicious. There is something absolutely enthralling about knowing someone can’t breathe because of you. That their ability to breathe again rests entirely in your hands. There is NEVER a question of me allowing Bakji to breathe again. His lack of oxygen is limited to seconds at a time. Those few seconds are enough though for me to know I will be having an effect on him and the effect that knowledge has on me is that it makes me aroused.
I recently wrote about my interest in Medical Play and part of what I love about beginning to explore that is that there are certain risks involved in some of the activities and also certain taboo elements to it too. When I consider all the things that turn me on the most, every single of them is something a little bit riskier. Prior to joining the kink scene I never really found my sex life that satisfying. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice and I liked it, but I always felt like I was not quite getting it. I always thought my body was a bit rubbish and just didn’t respond to sexual stimulus in the right way. Turns out my body is fine, it’s the wicked part of my brain that wasn’t sufficiently aroused.
Once I found the kink community and started discovering all the wonderful things I could enjoy, that was when my sexual desire really began to kick in. As I said earlier in this post it is rare that myself an Bakji engage in non-kinky sex, which I suppose to many people would make all our sexy ‘risky sex’. 99% of the time someone is tied up (by someone I mean Bakji, and by 99% of the time I mean 100% of the time) and our bondage can get fairly intense. Bakji is usually gagged, on occasions we use poppers, which is whole other post in itself I suspect. I frequently get my needles on the go, which I most do because I like there to be bleeding. None of which is risk free. While they are all completely normalised within our dynamic and do not feel very taboo to us these days, I know this is not the case for everyone.
I have a real mixture of long term kinksters and fledgling kinksters visit my blog. Which means some people will read this thinking the kinks mentioned are fairly low key, others will be reading this mildly terrified that they might one day have to do some of these things. Which seems like a good time to mention that not all kinks suit everyone and you should never engage in a kink that you feel uncomfortable with. I would personally much rather indulge in a little bit of knife play than risk being caught fucking in the woods, doesn’t make one kink better than the other though, just means we all have different tastes and I for one think that is wonderful.
I have linked this blog post to both Kink of the Week and this weeks Wicked Wednesday. Please do visit the sites for both and enjoy the other writings that have been posted there.
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