Episode 26 – Relationship Engineering

Relationship Engineering is this weeks topic, myself and Bakji return to get personal as we discuss how we manage our own relationship, within both a kink context and a romantic context.

It’s fair to say that both Bakji and I have quite distinct thoughts on we they like to approach relationships. Many of which have been formed by past experiences, some have been formed since joining the kink scene and a few are based on personal situations. Whatever the reason for each individual belief though, they can only really work because they are supported by both partners.

We are big believers in having the relationship that makes all involved in it happy. So this could be two people in a monogamous relationship, or it could be five people in a polycule. For us it doesn’t matter how your relationship looks, so long as it is making you happy.

A huge part of making any relationship work is communication, we are honest in saying this has been something we have definitely had to work on. It hasn’t come easily for us. However, the desire to continue having and building intimacy has propelled us forward in terms of how effective our communication is. In the podcast we talk about some methods we’ve found to help us communicate better and also the reasons why we perhaps neglected communication in the early days of our relationship.

While we don’t delve deeply into non-monogamy it is mentioned, a lot of the thoughts I mention on this subject have been shaped by some other great resources. My favourite poly blog is Poly.Land. For poly/non-monogamy podcasts I recommend Polyamory Weekly and Mulitamory. We recently had the pleasure of talking to Cooper S. Beckett recently too, who does a podcast called Life on the Swingset and has written some brilliant books on Swinging and non-monogamy, you can find information on all of that here.

We also talk around conventional relationship expectations and labels, and how you can become more comfortable using alternative explanations for how you present your relationship model to the outside world, who more often than not will have an opinion that you probably won’t ask for, but will hear anyway. Relationship goals and milestones also pop up to, and we discuss what you can do if you still want to include these things but without the usual formatting.

As always we would love to hear your feedback on this episode and all our previous episodes. Ideas for future episodes or general kink questions are also welcome. Our email is hello@proudtobekinky.com, or you can find us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. You can also support us on Patreon, so we can continue to grow the podcast, reach even more people and help them get their kink on.

We have recently been welcomed into the fold of the newly created podcast network Podcast Jukebox. Please do check out our sister podcasts, Off The Cuffs: A kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio. If you listen to us and them on the Apple Podcast app, and you like what you hear then please do leave a review, they really do make all the difference when it comes to whether or not people decide to take a chance on a new podcast.

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