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Kinky 2016 Retrospective

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So this week on the #proudtobekinky podcast myself and Bakji each selected five of our highlights of the last year in our 2016 retrospective episode. Ithought I would do a little bit of a more in depth post here though about the things that really gave 2016 it’s sexy kinky
awesomeness.

In the first half of the year myself and Bakji did some really lovely suspensions, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts I absolutely love being his rope bunny, it comes with the added bonus of a real feeling of sensual subbiness. Which is a little different to the more wanton subbiness I get when he throws in things such as spanking and sexual play. Either way though this has always been so much fun, I couldn’t really imagine it being rivalled. When you have a super sexy partner though, you never know when the sexiness might go up a notch.

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I’ve done an account of how much fun I find Topping, but at the beginning of the year I never imagined I’d even be ready to give it a go, never mind being in a place where I absolutely love it. It has been one of the most exciting things to discover about myself. Not only that but it meant I got to discover a whole new side to Bakji too, while getting to play with his subby side and quite frankly it’s sexy and adorable and it’s really no wonder I’ve had so much fun Topping.

My journey into Topping started with my finally learning some Shibari, about 18 months after I first attempted it and decided it really wasn’t for me and I’d much rather just be tied. So the moments this past year where my TK finally took shape, and I found a hip harness that I actually felt comfortable tying, felt like massive achievements.

img_0686Initially in those early days of my foray into Topping I couldn’t imagine doing it anywhere but in the privacy of my own four walls. The thought of anyone watching was a little daunting. However this year, myself and Bakji tried out a fair few Fetish clubs and Fetish clubs have equipment we just don’t have at home, and at some point during our adventures I just forgot to worry and realised enjoying myself was what really mattered, and I really, really enjoy myself when I wrap Bakji in rope and tease him up good and proper.

It would be really easy just to focus on these things, which despite presenting me with some personal challenges, they were essentially so much fun and so exciting that they always felt absolutely worth the effort. Other improvements aren’t always quite as fun to achieve but even more beneficial if you can crack them.

I will readily admit that I’m not the best when it comes to communication. As a natural born worrier and a bit of a fatalist, I will dwell on things instead of opening up a dialogue that might be uncomfortable, so my mind will run away from me and the fear of what might happen stops me having a conversation that would more than likely calm my fears not confirm them. I’m also not a fan of confrontation, so starting a conversation that could result in an argument is something I try to avoid. When it comes to BDSM though, communication is key, and not just communication about your kink needs and desires, but about everything, because if you’re not in the right frame of mind for any reason then engaging in kink becomes a lot less rewarding.

So another big thing for me in 2016 was improving a little when it comes to saying what I need to say. There are still improvements to be made, but even the small steps I took felt like giant leaps. If anyone else out there has visions of their whole world imploding because they have something they need to talk through, I can confirm that chances are it won’t.

I’ll move onto to fun things again, because there is definitely more fun in kink than anything else. Another things that I really enjoyed in 2016 was outfits. Outfits and shoes! More specifically Latex and high heels. My love of both has definitely increased massively this year, probably aided by the fact they both make me feel super sexy and really confident, so combining them with Topping is hot as fuck.

img_6885Finding items of clothing that really work for me has made events extra fun as well, I enjoy the getting dressed up aspect of things and I love going to events feeling all shiny and rubbery and events wise there have definitely been a few this year. Myself and Bakji hit the road on more than one occasion, finding our way around Fetish clubs a bit further away from home, mostly in London, but Brighton got a couple of visits out of us too. I think 2017 is definitely going to have many, many more outings in it. A week in and we’ve already been to two events, so it’s off to a good start.

Privately there was also a lot of kinky fun, I’m not massively into detailing what goes on when we do scenes at home. But I may do a little of this for the blog in 2017. I have been asked lots of questions about how our ‘switch dynamic’ works for us, so may combine the two at some point in the future and do a little bit of writing on how our scenes and our dynamic plays out when we are on our own.

I’m really looking for to 2017, and can’t wait to share lots of things with everyone who checks out my blog. Thank you again for all your support in 2016 and I wish you all a very kinky and fun 2017.

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