Recently on the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast I had a chat with MasterMHatter and CheshireCat_MMH who kindly came onto the pod to tell us about Shibari in a little more depth than what we have previously gone into in prior episodes. Which got me thinking about the journey I’ve taken since the very first time Cheshire tied me at one of our local events in April 2015.
Before I met Cheshire and soon after MasterMHatter, I knew vaguely that rope bondage was a thing, but hadn’t really considered getting into it myself. What I did want though was new friends, and from the moment I met Cheshire she was sweet and friendly and when she mentioned I should go along to the next peer rope group, it sounded like the perfect place to mingle with like minded kinky folk.
What happened when I went to the peer rope group a few weeks later changed my life, in so many ways. That day I did my first suspension with MasterMHatter and it absolutely blew my mind. Now just to clarify this isn’t always how it goes down for new people, but between chats we had on messenger prior to the rope group and the chemistry between us once I was in MasterMHatter’s rope, suspended was were I ended up and I loved every minute of it. The best way I can describe that first suspension is imagining it would be like going for a ride in a sports car, halfway through feeling like I was on a rollercoaster, then coming down and realising it was more like going into space on a rocket.
That first suspension led to many happy afternoons doing rope with MasterMHatter. Not only did we build a lovely connection as Rigger and bunny, but those times we spent together built a wonderful friendship too, which still remains even though I am on a bunnying hiatus.
While it was the adrenaline rush of that first suspension that drew me in, the reasons I continued to enjoy being a bunny did evolve over time. I found that the masochist in me enjoys the Sadism MasterMHatter brings to his ropework. The feeling of the rope biting against my flesh, gnawing at me achingly as it bound me in position was something I always looked forard to in rope sessions. I enjoyed the challenging ties to which my initial response would be ‘No way. I can’t do that’ then revelling in the feeling of achievement when I not only did it, but enjoyed it.
I’ve read a lot of accounts by other people about what they love about rope, or how rope makes them feel, and I’ve always felt a bit frustrated that I’ve never been able to convey my ‘why I do rope’ thoughts as eloquently as I’d like to. Eventually I realised I was missing the point entirely, because even though there things I enjoy about rope specifically, the thing I love most about rope is the people. The beautiful, wonderful friends I’ve made through the common interest of rope. Friendships that now far surpass that one shared interest, and have roots somewhere much deeper.
I love that rope gave Bakji an opening line to start talking to me, was I ever going to turn down an afternoon of rope with his gorgeous face, not likely. That first afternoon of rope together, led to so much more than I could ever have imagined. The absolute unadulterated joy he brings to my life is something I will always be thankful for. Whether it’s floorwork or suspensions, I adore the sensuality of the rope we do together when I’m his bunny. Our rope sessions allowed him to explore what I enjoyed as a sub, and now it’s safe to say he knows exactly what actions are going to cause me to melt into a big subby puddle, and he certainly doesn’t need rope for that these days.
Then as time moved on rope become my tool for Topping. As I learnt how to do things like a TK and hip harness, focusing predominantly on rope, not on Topping, Bakji’s exceptionally sexy and ever so naughty subby side was able to bring my Toppy side into focus without the pressure of me being the dominant one being the main aim. When I do have Bakji in my rope though, again it’s really not the rope I love. It’s his responses and his enjoyment, it’s the his playful rebellion until that moment he sinks into full submission, an effect I can now achieve with other mediums, not just rope.
However, rope is where it all started. Rope has given me so much; friendship, love, affection, kink, sex, confidence, laughter and an array of new experiences.
I often hear people saying rope isn’t for them, which if you’ve got a lot of experience under your belt and you’ve tried it then fair enough. If you’re new to the scene though, open to new things and have a local rope scene I urge you to go along. Yes it may turn out that rope isn’t your favourite thing to do, but it might still be something you enjoy doing and who knows you might just be as lucky as me and meet a whole host of wonderful people along the way.