As I mentioned in my previous blog post Coming Out of the Kinky Closet, my non-kink friends are all aware of my kink life. Quite often at the beginning of a new week they will ask what I got up to at the weekend, more often than not followed by the comment ‘or shouldn’t we ask’. The assumption being that my weekends are so debauched and filthy that I can’t possibly share any aspect of them with anyone who isn’t as perverted as I am.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do like to fit in as much debauchery and perversion into my weekends as I can. However, kinky people are still people, and we have to do regular people things as well as super fun kinky people things. So I thought it might be fun to do a little diary of one of my weekends, to give an idea of how my kink life and my non-kink life fit together.
I know I said it isn’t all about perverted debauchery, but Friday nights quite often do contain a little bit of that. On a Friday I usually get to see the gorgeous Bakji. This week I haven’t seen him since Monday, and that was a practical, pod related visit, in terms of play it’s been one week since we got our kink on. I work until 9pm on a Friday and Bakji arrives at mine anywhere between 9.15pm and 10pm.
Today I am looking forward to showcasing my new Latex bra from Libidex, and new shoes that were an eBay bargain. Luckily I have just enough time to change before Bakji arrives. Having learnt last week when I opened the door in full Latex that this can distract him a little and induce instant subbiness, I’m kind and throw on a silk robe too, so he can have the luxury of some conversation before I have my Toppy way with him. I’m not going to give a blow by blow account of the sexy times, you will all just have to imagine what can occur when there’s a Latex clad lady, a sexy man, rope, lube and a vibrating butt plug.
This morning is back to reality, while I do get a little lie in, getting to enjoy chats and cuddles with Bakji, I also have to get into mum mode. As my 5 year old is back from his Dad’s. We actually have a lovely morning going to breakfast with his Dad and doing some Christmas shopping. When I referred in my last post to how I am lucky with how understanding people in my life are, this is a prime example. My ex was not on board with our split, but after a lot of heartache and lots of communication we have reached a really good place. Which is wonderful, because he’s one of my best friends and it’s lovely for our son to spend time with Mummy and Daddy at the same time.
The afternoon brings a party for one of my son’s school friends. He has been so excited about it for ages, so I am beyond surprised when we get there and he doesn’t want to join in. There are tears and cuddles, but no amount of talking things through with him changes his feelings. We leave after 45 minutes when it’s clear he really isn’t himself. I feel like somehow I’ve made some massive parenting error to cause his mood, as he is normally the most social child in any room, and loves to dance and play games. I feel like a need a massive hug, so I count my blessings Bakji is always good at bringing infinite hugs with him when he visits.
Luckily both myself and small human have fun things planned for this evening. Small human is off to his Dad’s for a sleepover with his step-brother and Bakji is heading back to mine so we can go to the lock-in at our local sex shop. An event arranged for local Kinsters, a bit like a mini munch, so a chance to socialise, meet new people, there’s also a raffle, and discounts across the store.
While we don’t win anything in the raffle, I am slightly flustered but also very flattered to win a best dressed prize. A small rubber flogger, I haven’t tested it out yet, but I’m sure Bakji’s bum will enjoy it immensely in the very near future. A treat for him for kindly buying me the Latex leggings that caught everyone’s attention and bagged me the flogger. I also bought myself some new shoes, which I’m sure will work their way into a scene and also become another nice treat for Bakji. He really is a very lucky boy.
After the lock-in we head over to what we affectionately refer to as ‘Tea Party Headquarters’, the home of our beautiful friend CheshireCat_MMH, whose blog you can find here. This is where we head for Shibari shenanigans and kinky parties. Tonight there is lots of post lock-in rope, and it’s lovely to watch people enjoying themselves. We also have a couple of new faces along and it’s lovely to get to know them a bit better, as well as catching up with old friends. We sing christmas songs and have silly conversations, while others are contorted in rope, meaning christmas songs are joined by lovely sounds of masochists in pain.
We head home somewhere after 1am and it’s lovely to fall into bed with Bakji. As kinky as we are, it’s all about cuddles and talking tonight and that in itself is really lovely, and they’re moments I really look forward to throughout the week. We purposely don;t see each other every day, and while it works well for us, it doesn’t stop me missing him immensely when he gone. So I cherish every moment I have him with me.
We have quite a late start for us, normally we are up and out of bed before 8am on the nights Bakji stays over, but I think it’s gone 9am before we finally move from the cosiness of my bed. Once we are up though, there is coffee and toast, while we discuss things like the podcast, my blog and future Fetish events. Bakji heads home around lunchtime and I curl up with my laptop with the hope of a productive afternoon before my small human arrives home around 3pm. So while writing about and thinking about all things kinky, I’m curled up on my sofa in leggings and a jurassic park t-shirt while snuggled under a blanket. So not quite the 24/7 Latex clad Queen I’d like to be.
I’m going to tag Monday in on my weekend, because despite the fact it was as far away from kink as you can get, I did have a kink related question to ask my Dad, as you do. While myself and small human spent the day with my Dad, we had a lovely walk with two little dogs my Dad is looking after and the boy then spent the rest of the day playing silly games that Mummy just can’t get her very serious head around. Then realising the time is probably never right to ask your Dad if you can cut a hole in his ceiling (my dad is my landlord) for a hard-point, I just bit the bullet and blurted it out. Bless him for not batting an eyelid, but just making me promise to be 100% certain it was done safely. Luckily for me I have a very good friend in Master M Hatter* who is going to come and see if it’s a viable option for me. He’s installed a hard-point or two in his time so I know I’m in safe hands. Sadistic hands. But safe. If we have success I will definitely do a hard-point hooray blog post to tell you all about it.
So that is a fairly standard weekend in my life, while the events I attend vary, there is always that same mix of being a mum, daughter, colleague and friend as well as being a kinkster. I think we sometimes worry when we first join the scene that everyone else is a hardcore kinkster or fetishist and those of us who are also maintaining a non-kink life don’t quite fit in. I’ll let you into a little secret though, every single person I’ve met on the scene has a non-kink aspect to their life, we all have some downtime once in a while, with many of us having children, very non-kink jobs and all manner of other responsibilities that sometimes means kink has to come second occasionally. So whether your kink is bedroom bondage or being a 24/7 rubberdoll there is a still a place for you on the Fetish scene.
* You can hear more from MasterMHatter and CheshireCat_MMH on Episode #008 of #ProudToBeKinky Podcast which will be released this Thursday, in which I steal the podcast reigns from Bakji and do some solo hosting for a chat about Shibari.